kim2005

10 Great Discoveries of 2011

2011-11-23T18:26:00.009-05:00

1) Dayquel will make you run great for 10 miles then it wears off...note for next year..pack xtra dayquel on half marathon

2)I do not look like Shakira but if I drink a margarita and squint while looking in the mirror I look remarkably like Madonna

3) The Army of the Undead does not reside in our neighborhood cemetery (knowledge imparted by Grandson Adam)

4) A Pumpkin Spice Latte is just as good as a xanax

5) A triple shot of espresso does absolutely nothinggggggggggggggggggg

6) There is no such thing as too much of a good thing..this has been proven by experiments with snickers and oreos

7) Good Grandmas will let their grandsons eat skittles and candy corn for breakfast

8) It is entirely possible for a middle aged,slightly saggy Grandma to be deemed as a Wonder Woman candidate (knowledge imparted by Grandson Keaton)

9) If you nag your friend for two years straight she will wait for you at the finish line of the 1/2 marathon for an additional hour waiting for you to cross.

10) Pants that slim your silhouette DO NOT EXIST.

Things you Should Not Say or Do to a Woman Going Through Menopause

2010-07-26T21:31:00.002-04:00

1)When you wife comes home grumpy from work DO NOT look at your watch and say "Is it that time of the Month Again" Proper Response "I cannot believe the whole world does not know what a wonderful perfect woman you are..nobody appreciates you properly."

2)When your wife says "I cannot believe I am not losing weight with all the exercise I do." DO NOT respond with, "Maybe if you would cut back on your food you would not have to exercise so much" Proper Response " You are perfect just the way you are. You are way hotter then Shakira"

3) When your wife says "Do you think this outfit makes me look fat?" DO NOT respond by saying "Well clothes cannot make you look any fatter then you actually are."
PROPER RESPONSE "Baby you look good in anything. Your are totally my Top Model"

4)DO NOT look in the crock pot and say "Gross I hate crock pot food" Proper Response "I can't believe you work all week and still have dinner ready every night...you are a domestic goddess please let me worship at your feet"

5) DO NOT ASK your wife "are you going to lay around all day and do nothing but read and watch Law & Order" Do say "while you are laying there my dear, why don't I bring you a little snack and flip the channel to "Snapped" for you."

6) DO NOT respond with " I would bite you too" if your wife complains that your stinky old mean dog once AGAIN bit her on the leg. Do say "I will at once take that vicious animal to the animal shelter and please lay down and rest your injured leg while I fetch you a DQ Pecan Pie Blizzard while you recover"

7)DO NOT say "What did you do to your hair" when your wife comes home from the hair dresser when the beauty shop got a little snip happy. PROPER RESPONSE " I see you got a sassy new haircut my little minx"

8) When your wife says "Honey I made cookies and nary a cookie crossed my lips" DO NOT say "you are not missing much they were dry anyway" Proper Response: "Your will power is amazing, you truly are the most amazing woman that has ever walked the earth (additional guidance...do not insert the words "aside from my mother' in the proper response) If you happen to be talking to your mother you WILL want to insert those words)

9) DO NOT say "Maybe you should go to the doctor to get a prescription for whatever this is that you are going through because this is not normal" Proper Response "Let me mix you up a pitcher of margaritas and bring you a basket of chips and some salsa. I think there is a marathon of "Snapped" Episodes let me get the remote"

10) DO NOT EVER EVER EVER SAY "Why can't you do (fill in the blank with just about anything) like (fill in the blank with any other woman's name). DO SAY "My darling I bet you could do (fill in the blank) a hundred times better then (fill in the blank with any other woman's name). I am totally not worthy of you. Please allow me to worship you, take you to the Mall and buy you much cheap gaudy bling"

Why it Sucks to be Over 40 something.....

2010-07-08T21:21:00.002-04:00

10. Metabolism comes to a screeching halt...mine is the equivalent of a Hippensteel Funeral Home client.

9. You cannot stay out all night with your friends and work the next day...if your not in bed by 9:00 (and that would be p.m.) then you have to take a nap in the breakroom during lunch and your co workers will ask if you have the flu and advise "You look horrible"

8. The sexy tousled bed head look now just looks like you forgot to brush your hair.

7. You cannot eat pizza for breakfast, lunch and dinner and still button your pants.

6. The checkout boys at the grocery store will no longer offer to help take your giant cartful of groceries out but they will ask the 20 year old in the next lane who just purchased a pack of gum and a 20 oz mountain dew if she needs help out to her car.

5. If you get pulled over the police despite crying and looking pathetic and saying "I have had a really bad morning" he will just say "well now its just gotten worse" and hand you your seat belt violation ticket anyway.

4. Makeup is no longer a choice it is a necessity.

3. When you say you might want some plastic surgery...people START MENTIONING things that if they were me "they would pick first"

2. When you say "I am hot" it means your having a hot flash or the central air is broken.

1. Friday nights no longer involve friends, booze, and staying out all night...Friday nights now involve trips to Walmart to buy Menopause away and fans.

okay now WHY IT IS GREAT TO BE OVER 40 SOMETHING....

10. I have a lifetime of experience and knowledge under my belt..ie I know when the telephone solicitor calls to HANG UP RIGHT AWAY because if you don't you will end up buying a 5 year subscription to a magazine club that will send you Golf Digest, Billiards Digest and Fishing Digest and an absolutely free guide to Putt Putt Golf for Dummies.

9. I have more disposable income as I am no longer buying mega bottles of tylonol as my children are grown.

8. I can come and go as I please..oh except for the 40 hours a week I am expected at work and the 10 hours a week I should be doing housework and the 7 hours a week I should be working out so I don't keel over dead from obesity and the 56 hours I need to be asleep so I don't turn into an assassin.

7. I can be mean and cranky and get away with it by declaring "I can't help it I am crazy from Menopause"

6. I can carry a big purse and not look like a potential shoplifter.

5. I no longer worry about people thinking I am young and stupid...now I know I am brilliant.

4. I can eat ice cream for dinner on account of the "losing calcium as you age".

3. I can wear all sorts of cheap bling and people don't think I am trashy they think I am eccentric.

2. I can read all the trashy books and watch all the trashy TV I want because I do not have a developing mind.

1. I am much better at guarding my mouth and not calling people stupid except stupid drivers downtown,stupid Walmart shoppers, and the generally stupid people that seem to surround me.

Yes Fried Cream Cheese Can Be a Disapointment

2010-07-04T10:07:00.003-04:00

Seeeester day yesterday!
Off the sisters went to a festival in Lake Ceder.
The thought of Bingo makes the sister giddy as does the thought of eating Festival Food WHILE playing Bingo.
First item on agenda make a circuit of the food carts to decide which culinary delight should be devoured...yummmm..elephant ears, funnel cakes, corn on the cob...we are salivating as we ogle the food vendors with our money clutched tight in our gluttonous little hands ...then we spot it...a cart that will make a glutton's eyes pop right of their sockets...FRIED CHEESE....there are some many things right about fried cheese..first off it is CHEESE...MELTED CHEESE...IN BATTER...ON A STICK!
So we order Fried Cream Cheese and a Fried Swiss Cheese and Rye. Fried Cream Cheese not so good even on a stick. Fried swiss cheese and Rye only good when you just suck the swiss cheese out of the so NOT rye breading and the stick gets in the way. How could this have gone wrong???? It sounded oh so right...but cheese rolled in what is basically corn dog batter was a disappointment.

Pirogi: Threw them in the trash..NOT GOOD..

Corn on the Cob. Denise loved. Kim refused to partake on account of dental issues.

Funnel Cake: Ate the entire thing with sister...enough said.

Bingo: It is not fun to play bingo when the pot is 5.00 and less and the cards were $.50 a piece. Old ladies are serious about their bingo. One round old lady complained to the Bingo caller because she thought that guy at the next table was cheating.Played some then Denise had an awesome idea...lets cut out and go to the
Merriville Mall. See why I love my sister?????

Mall: Oh Sears in the Merriville Mall how I love you so. Clearance galore. Baby Caleb scored LOTS of cut outfits, all for 5.00 and less! Okay Meth users quit using meth get a visa card and go to the Clearance Section of Sears.I swear to you it will be even better then your illegal high and you will be well dressed.

Bakers Square for Dinner: A restaurant of pies.I was pretty sure I had died and had gone to heaven. I have a great idea for Bakers Square they should have all you can eat pie night say for $6.00! I would so be there. I think the only thing better then all you can eat pie buffet would be bottomless Margarita glass.

Fireworks store: Denise declared Big Bang to not have good sales..I believe she said that just because she was bouncing up and down declaring she had to "pee really bad" and they did not have a bathroom. Do not travel with Denise and allow her to drink four glasses of ice tea at dinner and then let her take a tea to go.

All in all a very relaxing and fun day with the seeeester.....Thank you seeester dear I love you (though not quite as much as I love pie and clearance sections but you come pretty close).

You may call Me Mrs. Kaufman

2010-06-20T06:15:00.003-04:00

Grandchildren:We have had the pleasure of having our oldest grandson while his mother is recuperating in the hospital from her C section which brought our sweet little Caleb into our fold. Okay I never thought I would say this but hearing "Hey Grandma" a gazillion times in a 24 hour period has got me contemplating a name switch. I have been asked everything from "where are the dead bodies at in the cemetary?" to "why can't we go to Chuckie Cheese for breakfast?". He has an endless supply of questions and comments. We were coming out of Marsh and I said "Be careful there is a car coming" He responds, "Actually that is a Truck, Grandma" I say "Wow you are just like your Grandpa" Adams says "That's what my Mom says"
Last night Keaton came to hang out with his cousin and G-Ma and G-Pa. During swimming time Keaton decides he must have the hose. He asked Grandpa for the hose and Grandpa says "No you don't need the hose" Keaton says "Why" Grandpa did not have a good answer as to why Keaton could not have the hose because after all he already was wet..so he hands over the hose and then we find out why he should not have gotten it because Grandma AND Grandpa promptly got sprayed with the hose.

Puppy: I forgot how hyper black labs are. I have now been fully reminded.

Food: I have given up Wendy's Oreos frosty and have completely kicked my addicition. However, it has been replaced with an intense desire for Hot Fudge Sundaes. What the heck is wrong with me?

Workouts: I am plodding slow...oh so slow...I think it has to do with the previous topic. Once this gallon of icecream is gone it will be a good thing...a very good thing.

Happy Father's Day to All! We have fabulous father's in our family! In rememberence of the fathers in my life:
My Dad: You have always made me laugh. I think that is what I miss about you most.
You were witty, clever and never let me beat you at scrabble. When I actually did beat you which I must add was only once I was so proud because I beat the smartest man I knew. You taught us to be strong, self reliant,cynical, generous and gave us a sarcastic sense of humor (some people call sick..they obviously do not get good humor, and you also gave us a work ethic that will likely kill us. For along time after you left us I kept picking up the phone to call and tell you something funny or share some good news with you. I miss you and love you and you would have loved the little guys in our family..they are what you would have called "boy boys".

Grandpa Richard: When you married Mom you married a whole family. You loved us like we were your own despite the fact that you got us full grown. You were a good Grandpa to the kids and you they will always remember you. My dad loved you too he said he could not have picked a better man to have been a father to his girls and a grandpa to his Grandkids and he was very grateful for all that you did for us. Jerry and the boys still love pine village but it is bittersweet for me because despite its beauty I have Pine Village and you so strong entwined that I don't see the beauty I just see that you are not there. I miss driving up and seeing you on your mower with your funny hat waving at me.

Okay I have to move on to another topic because I am going to make myself cry.....

Have a wonderful day to all. Father's Days adoration will be moved to next Sunday because we are not doing a gathering without Caleb, Kendra and Lucas!

Things I Must Keep Reminding Myself About

2010-05-08T07:39:00.003-04:00

1) There is no such thing as just eating a few Cheese It's...if I open that box I am gonna probably finish them off.

2) Calling people wanker is not lady like.

3) Screaming at the driver on my left to "maintain your lane of travel you moran" with my car window rolled up will not actually keep him/her from straddling both lanes..

4)If I eat an entire bag of fun sized snickers my socks will get too tight...okay okay I mean my pants.

5)Buying new running shoes will not make me faster.

6) I cannot slap people in Walmart because they are in my way,I will get arrested and I don't look good in stripes.

7) Driving a 5 Speed Saturn really is cool...

8) The tag on my shirts go on the inside.....

9)Menopause is not an excuse to browbeat people or threaten to twist their heads off like a pop top.

10) Nice Girls don't make voo doo dolls.

Stop the Insanity

2010-05-02T17:28:00.005-04:00

I don't know when it happened but at some point I lost complete control of my life. I am now in the unenviable position of reclaiming what is rightfully mine..Peace of Mind and Soul. My house looks like Horders should come in with their crazy hoarder Pych doctors and give me a session or two, my schedule has gone awry and nothing gets done on time( I have had to call twice and have late fees waived and freely admited it was menopause and that I have become unhinged...both times the service reps were woman...both times they waived my $35 late fee), I never cook anymore and have become overly fond of Lean Pockets and canned asparagus, and menopause has caused me to become irrational and have wild mood swings that have me wanting to sob in despair and then wanting to knock people upside the head with my beautiful shiny black handbag.

So what does a woman due when her mental stablity is at risk and does not feel the like she has peace of mind and soul? She does not drink lots and lots of wine, nor does she eat mass quantities of reece cups. She does not go to the doctor and says "Can you give me a little something to ease the anxiety". She cleans...or makes plans to clean...
General Kim's Plan of Attack Against Insanity:

The first level of attack.... cleaning my laundry room. No woman should have to bend and stretch and straddle just to get something out of her freezer or utility closet. Granted you could apply this in "Livestrong.com" as "Yoga". However, if you are bending, stretching and straddling to get the frozen Sara Lee pie out of the freezer I think it is cancels out the "did Yoga" part. At any rate the first level of attack to reclaiming my peace of mind and soul was successful. However, I doubt the wisdom of making my freezer easily assessible.

Second Level of Attack: Clean upstairs room and turn it into sleep and playroom for the grandchildren. I retreated from this assault as when I opened the door I was confronted by the sight of a large artificial Chistmas Tree completely assembled (sans ornaments) with a partially inflated air mattress next to it and many many boxes of stuff surrounding the mattress and Christmas Tree. Slammed the door and retreated..a good General knows when to retreat and when to attack....

Third Level of Attack: Bathe Dog..the dog is old...like a zillion years old in people years..he stinks..BAD. Told him he was going to get a bath...he slunk off and hid under the kitchen table..tried to lure him out with dog biscuit..then hunk of cheese..he growled and bared all four of his teeth. General Kim decides this battle is a losing one and just shoots him with a spray of vanilla bean air freshener. The General determines this is not a retreat but rather a treaty as the dog did allow the General to spray him with air freshener.

While my peace of mind and sanity have not been restored I feel slightly more balanced and will prepare myself for further attacks in the next week.

Overheard at Grandma's House:
Adam"I have an idea...hows about I sleep at your house"
Grandma "You will have to ask your mommy"
Adam "Grandma says I can sleep at her house"
Mommy" You don't have pajamas"
Adam"Grandma you got pajamas here?"
Grandma "I believe I do"
Adam "It's good Grandma has pajamas"

Laughing my butt off moment:
Helicopter war with Adam and Keaton. After Grandma was covered with Helicopters she suggests to Adam and Keaton that they bombard Mommy/Aunt Kendra with handfuls of Helicopters. Keaton was laughing so hard at the thought of throwing a handful of helicopters at his Aunt Kendra that he could hardly walk and hold his helicopters.

You Know you are food addict when...

2010-01-15T07:25:00.002-05:00

1. You hide your case..err I mean box of Thin Mints in the trunk of your car to avoid sharing them with your family.

2. Eating 13 fun size snickers isn't any fun anymore...you gotta get the super fun size snickers.

3. You plan your girls weekends around an episode of diners, drive in and dives.

4. 90% of your girls weekend budget is alloted for "meals and snacks"

5.You inflict eye injuries on others cause your pants buttons are a poppin.

6. You watch the food network with the same concentration as a porn addict watches porn.

7. Marco's Pizza is sending you letters that start with "We miss you"

8. You begin to think that a half marathon is totally worth it if you can eat an entire Marcos Pizza with a Pecan Pie chaser afterwards.

9. The kibble in the dog food can is looking less like dog food and more like beef stew.

10. You don't care if the unwrapped hershey kiss fell on the rug that the dog sleeps on.

Thanksgiving Report

2009-11-28T07:24:00.004-05:00

Thanksgiving as always was loud and chaotic and you know I would not change it for the world.

As in the years past: Every single year and I do mean every year someone asks "What time are we eating" Ok people we have had Thanksgiving at 1:00 for the last 20 years but being the nice person I am I roll my eyes, let out a big sigh and reply "Are ya stupid..it is the same time as the last 20 years..1:00"

The Feast: Stays pretty much the same..standard Thanksgiving food but we will throw in an occasional new dish...this year Red Hot Applesauce Jello and mom's yummy pumpkin cake with cinnamon glaze...ymmmmm.

The GAMES: Aunt Denise is the winner of the "Eat It" triva game...that woman she does know her snack food. Unlike other trivia games this one does not take us an entire day to earn all the pieces to the pie cause there are just somethings we know alot about...food, bodily functions, movies and TV. If we have any knowlege of history, science or geography, it is cause we pick up the odd piece of knowledge here or there by channel surfing.
Buzz word first place was taken by Team White Lightening...Team Nimrod would have won the first round if one of Team Nimrod's members had not let her child erase the score card. One of Team White Lightening's Team members fled the kitchen cause
"This game takes to much quick thinking and my brain does not work like that" Team White Lightening's replacement stepped in but replacement spent alot of time scowling at his teammates asking them if they were stupid. Holy cow...Man....that was fun.

Black Friday Stratgey Planning Meeting: After food is consumed...okay food consumption never actually stops it just sorta slows down and games have been played it was time to get down to business...Black Friday Strategy. First there is the whole argument about who is riding with who...Kim after several years of boycotting riding with Aunt Denise because Aunt Denise LEFT KIM AT BEST BUY AND FORGOT HER, decides to forgive Aunt Denise (only because Kendra opened her big mouth and told Aunt Denise that "Mom forget me and left me in the daycare at the gym when I was 10 and had to come back for me" Denise demands instant absolution which Kim had to grant. So Kim in a gesture of goodwill says she will ride with Aunt Denise this year. Tasha and Kendra (part of Team Nimrod) will ride together. Amanda would be going with a friend. Brad was on the fence until we told him that if rides with Kendra and Tasha he will have to pay for his own Black Friday meal but if he rides with Aunt Denise and his Mom he is likely to score a free meal...despite the fact that "his brain does not work like that" he was quick thinking enough to agree to go with his Mom and Aunt. The ads are brought out. Ads are a touchy subject in this house. No one wants to give someone else their ads because then they don't get it back. Aunt Denise hides her ads (to protect them and keep them safe for Friday. Aunt Denise and Amanda try to get everyone elses ads. Kim takes a sharpie and writes her name across the front page of every ad from her newspaper before she will let someone so much as touch her ads. Brad tries to look at Lucas ads. Lucas tells him if he touches his ads he is a dead man. Once the arguments over ads and ad ownership have been settled,the planning and list making commences. Kim is feverishly circling items with her official "Black Fridy" sharpie. When it happens...someone dares to interfere with the Black Friday Stratgey Committee's official meeting...the someone...a child. The children in the family have still not got a clear understanding that when we are having a stratgy meeting we are not to be talked to, asked things or bothered in anyway(unless someone is gushing blood or projectile vomiting). Poor Abby stands by her Aunt Kim and request crayons and paper. Aunt Kim tells her to go watch Underdog because she is busy. Abby again makes her request. Aunt Kim tells her no she is not getting up from the table. Abby asks at least one million times more before Aunt Kim says coloring is not a "Thanksgiving activity" we will color another time. Abby in a huff walks away and begins coloring on styrofoam plates with Aunt Kim's backup sharpie. And then another interference, Adam runs in to tattle ( a skill just recently learned). He advises his grandmother (Kim) that Abby is coloring on plates and taping them to the walls. Grandma tells Adam to "worry about his self and Abby is not hurting anything". Finally we are left in peace.

THE DAY:
It must be admitted that Kendra and Tasha are FANTASTIC black friday shoppers cause they got everything off the list that Team White Lightening had asked them to pick up at Target and Menards. Team White Lightening did well in getting all their items on their list but let down Team Nimrod by not being able to get the the "New Moon" game.

Despite their willingness to pick up items for opposing the team, Team Nimrod has a mean streak and when they hooked up with Team White Lightening's car they threw COMBOS in the open window of Team White Lightening's vehicle and laughed hysterically because a team member of White Lightening requested that her teammate unlock the car door (yeah yeah yeah the car window was down) . A member of Team White Lightening responded by throwing water at Team Nimrod's car which only elicted laughter and a response of "Thanks for the car wash".

END OF THE DAY: Shopper's went home..at least one member of Team White Lightening went home and slept for three hours..then got up for a couple of hours and then went to bed for the night. Evidently being able to plod/walk 13 miles does not guarentee the ability to stay up for 24 hours straight.

Tidbits:

You gotta love a person that you get in the Christmas draw that gives you a picture of her wishlist item torn out of the ad and hands you a coupon for $10.00 off at that store.

Aunt Denise is scamming Speedway by bypassing how the hot chocolate is instructed to be made on the machine and stopping and starting the machine mulitple times to make her cocoa triple chocolately.

Golden Corral is the place to go for Breakfast Buffet.

Overheard:
"Aunt Kim can I have a piece of pumpkin pie now?" "No, because you just ate your weight in dirt pudding and Aunt Kim is NOT cleaing pumpkin pie vomit"

Things I love

2009-10-07T17:52:00.010-04:00

Magic Water Bottles: The other day I was getting ready to take a ride (which I might add was quite fun!), while I was preparing for my ride I was talking to my fellow rider on the cell phone. I pulled my water bottle off the shelf, all the while chatting away,and went to stick the water bottle under the tap when I felt weight in the bottle..thinking I must have left water in it I start to dump it....and FUN SIZE SNICKER BARS flowed forth! Jill, who was still on the telephone with me, had to listen to my shrieks of joy for minutes...my huband hearing the shrieks of joy and my shouts of utter happiness ran into the kitchen to see me joyously running my hands thru the mound of snicker bars. He promptly grabs them away and slinks off to rehide the snicker bars...

Pumpkin Spice Latte from starbucks and Christmas Music

Feast of the Hunter's Moon

Covered Bridge Festival

Wearing hoodies in the fall (they cover a multitude of body flaws)

Sitting on my porch in the cool fall weather.

Overheard:
"Can we walk down to the bottom of the hill Grandma?" "Heck, no cause then we have to walk up the hill" "Well we can RUN up the hill" (why my 3 year old Grandson thought I would rather run then walk up the hill is a mystery)

"It must be fall...you're cleaning" (my poor husband the only time I clean is when the weather gets cool..I might add cool only...cold just makes me lay on the couch with a blanket and the remote.)

"My tummy is hungry for Pizza" (Your's isn't the only one little buddy)

"How you doing Kimmie" (Did not even dignify that question with an answer...we were running...I felt like dying of course)

"Why am I doing this?" (guess what this question was about...the answer...because I am completely stupid)

"Maybe carb loading is the answer" (it is the answer to why I can't button my pants without laying down on the bed)

"If I ride any longer I might be totally naked" (okay I will let you just mull this comment over!)

UPCOMING EVENTS:
Feast of the Hunters Moon (all children must be accompanied by parents as Grandma will not be able to hold any children as she is going to have her hands full of apple dumplings and ham and beans)

Kaufman Family Fall Festival/Halloween Fun Day: Sunday 1:00. Chili and dessert served and yes I will have something for those picky eaters that will not let a kidney bean cross their lips. Kids bring your halloween buckets to put your prizes in!

Covered Bridge: Whoooo Hoooo the girls are going out of town...just one day so we can't cause too much chaos.

Halloween Night: Grandma will cook beef stew and desserts before trick or treating.

Hunger Rears Its Ugly Head

2009-09-30T05:42:00.002-04:00

Fall is my absolute favorite time of the year. I love running, I love biking, I love walking thru leaves and carving pumpkins. Unfortunately I also love food. Fall awakens the hunger in me like no other season...chili, cider, pumpkin dougnuts (and I don't even like dougnuts all that well) stews, homemade soups, homemade cookies and cakes. I need to do the whole bear thing and hibernate right thru the fall season. Yesterday, my friend and I were walking on our lunch break, and as soon as I walked out the door of the building I could smell the yummy goodness of Chumley's hamburgers. My knees about buckled and I just about fell to the ground in a fit of culinary lust. Lucky for me I knew that if I made it thru my breakfast of egg whites and whole grain bread, and lunch of carrots, celery, strawberries, and whole grain bread roast beef sandwich that delights were awaiting me at home in honor of my son in laws birthday...chicken pot pie, made with my own loving hands. Lets just say because of the season I am REALLY glad they took the remainder of the birthday cake home (aside from the piece my husband has in his possession and is closely guarding).

On the home front:My husband bought snickers bars last week (which I might add is the best candy in the ENTIRE world..followed closely by reece cups). He hid the snickers bars. They are unfindable. That makes me sad and kinda glad.

On the Grandbaby Front: My grandson, who is getting ready to turn 1, had his picture taken. Is it wrong to want to buy every package cause he is so darn cute? Do you think I could get a bank loan to purchase the million dollars of pictures I want? Oh...the parents are kinda cute too. My other grandson,who seems to be alot like his grandma, will pee in the potty lots of time for pieces of candy corn. Maybe I should ask my husband if I pee in the potty will that score me one of those hidden snickers bars.

1/2 Marathon Training Update: My IT band hurts...hurt at mile 8 on my long run with 3 more miles to go. Lucky for me I have a plodding buddy that has the patience of a saint. The last three miles were walk, run, stretch, repeat. I FINISHED the route and to me, with the burning in my leg, that was what counted. I have been rolling my IT band on that devil of a roller twice a day. Yesterday did three miles with no pain. For all the pain it causes while rolling it better be working. 1/2 marathon November 7! This weeks long run 11.5 miles. I don't understand why I do all this exercise and am not losing weight when I eat lots better then most people (but not as good as some). I think it is all my weekends...I need to control my weekend food and eat more like I do during the week but then again what fun is that?

Overheard at my house: "This is rather disturbing" said by Kendra while I was doing my inner peace stretches in front of her. "Welcome to my world" response of Kendra's father/my hubby

"We are going for a walk and you two can't go" said by grandson as he pointed to his mother and grandfather while we were getting ready to go for our after dinner walk.

"I am not tired, I don't wanna go night night" said about 30 seconds before my grandson fell asleep.

"What do you want for breakfast" uttered by Grandma "Candy Corn" response by grandson "Don't tell your Mom though" response by Grandma (fyi later we actually had a real breakfast)

"Where did you put the snickers bars?" guess who said this..."Why do you want to know" said by the hider of the snickers bars.

Things I learned from Girls Weekend

2009-09-14T07:24:00.001-04:00

1) 20 year old girls do not need sleep. They will stay up till 2:00 a.m in the morning and sleep in to 9:00 a.m. Woman in their 40's like to go to bed at 9:00 p.m and get up 5:00 a.m.

2) Going up 11 flights of stair to go down and 11 story slide is hard work and will make you break a sweat.

3) A woman in her 40's ( I might add LATE 40s) can actually get up the stairs easier then women in their 20's

4) Sleeping with your shoes under your pillow cause you are scared the 20 year old women will lace your shoes upside down AGAIN, will give you a neck ache.

5) Two computer addicts cannot share one laptop.

6) Never trust someone who is laughing hysterically in the back seat of the car when you are in the front seat. (if anyone wants to know specifics please ask Kim)

7) Three adult women can have just as much fun at the STL city museum as 11 year old children.

8) It is scary to run downtown St. Louis. The result of fear is turning around at the quarter mile mark going back to the hotel lobby and having pastries and coffee.

9) Having pastries and coffee instead of running will make one's pants hard to button.

10) If people are walking by your bed going "shhhhh your gonna wake her"...they are probably gonna do something to you.

11) A city that boasts about its culture is probably not going to have an outlet mall close by.

12) Mile High Pie does not actually mean it is mile high.

13) If you hunker down in a corner at the tip top of a high building cause you are scared to death, you will get laughed at and have your picture taken and slapped onto an internet page.

14) A Girls Weekend is good for the soul.

Food Review from St. Louis

2009-09-12T06:59:00.004-04:00

I wanna Ponytail too

2009-08-22T05:14:00.006-04:00

My grandson who is just getting ready to turn 3 loves to do what everyone else is doing...when Grandpa goes to the shed to work..Adam wants to go the shed to work...when Grandma is cooking in the kitchen...Adam wants to cook in the kitchen...when Baby Keaton is crawling around on the floor...Adam wants to crawl around on the floor....sooooo when Grandma says to granddaughter Carissa "Do you want Grandma to put your hair up in a ponytail" that opened a Pandora's box...Adams yells while rubbing his buzz cut..."I wanna ponytail in my hair too!" I look at him and CALMLY state "Boys don't wear ponytails" Now I know this statement might cause a flap but I DO NOT LIKE LONG HAIR ON MEN OR BOYS (unless it is Jon Bon Jovi)My boys never had long hair, my husband has short hair and to this day they keep themselves sheared pretty close. At any rate this statement of reason did not sit well with my little man, who once again insisted that he have a ponytail like "Rissa" and that he too wanted a butterfly barrett. I again stated "Boys don't wear ponytails AND you don't have enough hair to have a ponytail" All my statement did was elicit sobs of dispair. However, being the veteran of many mother/son wars I had just the solution...how about we have a popcicle. Sobbing stopped immediately.A request was made for an orange popcicle..all was well with the world...on a side note not only did "Rissa" get a ponytail and a butterfly barret, she too scored an orange popcicle.

Baby Keaton is now set loose on the world....just shy a couple of weeks from 10 months old...is now toddling around the living room. He is a rough and tumble boy he falls over all the toys (that I might add are the ones he has thrown from the toybox)and just picks himself up toddles off again..He tends to like to toddle over by the coffee table and end table where he has more then once found a stray cheese nip or two. He loves to have Grandma pull him in the wagon. He will ride in the wagon for HOURS! Our perfect evenings are long walks around the neighborhood and then we sit on my porch swing and sings songs and I swing him till he falls asleep and then we just swing on the porch in quiet..just Grandma and her little man.

Carissa spent the morning and afternoon with us last week....I love having a granddaughter! She will be 4 in January and she loves the mall with all her little heart. When I asked her if she wanted to go to the mall, her eyes lit up. I asked her what she wanted to buy from the mall and she says..."A Dress...a princess dress" well we could not find an exact princess dress but we did find a dress with polka dots and a cupcake which she loved...she also got 2 new pair of shoes, a pair of jeans, two new shirts, new DORA underwear (which as soon as her Dad came to pick up her up, she proudly lifted her dress and exclaimed "I got new Dora panties". Her father said she shouldn't show people her new panties, it would be a better idea just to TELL people she got new Dora panties. She also got some new barretts and some baby bling (major sequined bracelets). I think having a granddaughter is very bad on my Visa balance.

Tyson has started middle school. It seems just the other day he came into our lives. I still remember the first time I met him. His mother was dating my son and my son brought her over to our house on halloween with Tyson. They were standing in the yard talking and Ty was getting antsy (as he was only around 4 yrs old and four year olds don't like to stand around especially when they have a bucket for collecting candy.) I look at Tyson and say "Would you like me to walk you down our street while your Mom is talking?" He slipped his little hand in mine and said "Yes, please" and I loved him from that moment on. Now he is a middle schooler and doesn't hold my hand anymore but he still hugs me and tells me he loves me.

Death Run Training Update:
8.66 miles...slow and easy and quite enjoyable...could actually have gone another mile with no great distress. The morning was cool and we had a slight wind that kept us cool...My running buddy had to make a pit stop...the only pit stop was Burger King...I told him just our luck someone would see us going into Burger King and think we were going for the biscuits and gravy instead of doing our long run...if anyone saw us go into Burger King this morning...I swear the only thing we did was use the bathroom.

Biking
Last Sunday we road to Brookston and back...all country roads..total milage around 34 miles. We stopped at a nice little icecream shop and had some yummy icecream...I had blueberry waffle cone crunch...mmmmmm so good and the scoop was huge and only 1.75. However, we burned all the calories from our icecream off as we battled head on wind for the 16 mile trip back home. I might add it was also over 90 degrees that day and our ride started at 12:30 in the afternoon.
Next bike route will be to Linden to the Lindy Freeze...about a 40 mile route...who doesn't love a bike ride that involves icecream?

Girls Going Wild:
It is time for the annual Girls Weekend! St. Louis is our destination! The fathers are probably not as excited as we are cause they will be all on their own...well they got Grandpa backup and actually he is almost better then Grandma backup! Good Luck Guys!

Our Family is Nuts:
I have a wedding dress in my closet. It was suppose to be Kendra's then she changed her mind...she still got married...just did not wear this dress. I told her she should try to sell it and if she did she could use that money for our girls weekend. So she gets it out and she decides that Tasha (yes our skinny itty bitty little Tasha) should model it for the picture and Kendra would entitle her sale..."Wedding Dress...Must Sell...Lost Weight" So it is now listed on Craigs list. with a photo of Tasha swamped in layers of white fabric (no offense Kendra) we will probably get more requests on how did Tasha loose weight(this girl has never been fat a minute of her life...not even when pregnant with an almost 10 pound baby) then offers on the dress.

Over and out for now...time to refuel my jelly belly after this mornings run with some power food...okay I lie I am gonna have a pancake.

These are a few of my favorite things...

2009-07-29T19:44:00.002-04:00

Watching my husband play with our grandchildren

Hearing my grandson, Adam say, "Love you Newma"

Holding my grandson, Keaton while he sleeps in my arms on the porch swing.

Having my granddaughter,Carissa, run toward me saying "Can I sit on your lap Grandma"

Having my 11 year old grandson, Tyson , hug me..because soon he will be at an age that he will not want to hug Grandma.

Hearing my Mom say "I worked really hard at the Y today"

Running in the early morning hours with my friends, while the rest of the world sleeps.

Biking Sunday afternoons on county roads.

The smell of a campfire.

New loaded music on my MP3 player.

Road Trips

Old country songs

The smell of leaves in the fall.

Fall Festivals

2009-07-28T06:17:00.003-04:00

I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT

2009-07-28T05:28:00.002-04:00

I CAN NOT BELIEVE THAT I FORGOT HOW HARD IT WAS TO TRAIN FOR A HALF.
Last Friday I was checking out the calendar to see how many weeks before Christmas (I know I know it is a little insane) and discovered not only was it time to start listening to Christmas music (cause it takes a while to build myself up to my Christmas frenzy) but I have a half marathon in 14 weeks.EGADS I had not even begun to train! I have been taking lazy daisy plods around Lafayette with not a thought of plodding an inch more then 6 miles. Poor Jill almost fell over when her Garmin gave its little ting a ling for mile 6 and I stopped dead in my tracks.
This weekend Jeff agreed to accompany me on my Saturday plod of pain. As we started I casually asked if he was doing the half in November. He affirmed that yes he to would be participating in the 13 mile death shuffle. So once again (casually) I state "Well we better start training...oh yeah we gotta start today" So off we went on our pain of plod. 7 miles of ups and down ( I might add that right at the start we had hills).. in the humidity ( I should not complain because Runner Susan runs in the depths of Hell a/k/a Texas in the summer), and in the early morning with NO COFFEE (the world is an ugly brutual place without coffee), with legs that have not gone more then 6 miles in over a year (and stop instantly upon mile 6 all on their own), with my fat little belly (compliments of Magnifco Pizza), and a brain that has been conditioned to think of 6 miles as a "Long Run". So with all those things against me...you know its gonna be brutal...who knew that 1 tiny little mile would make such a big difference. Mile 7, I was crying on the inside and whining on the outside. Once again I was doubting my sanity...WHO IN THE WORLD DOES THIS FOR FUN...WHY AM I DOING THIS? IT HURTS!
I still don't know the answer to that. After all my family will love me whether I do a half marathon or not(my husband might even love me more if I don't cause then the housework MIGHT get done). It's not going to get me a promotion or raise at work...I am not going to earn a million dollars for it (okay not even one dollar)and it certainly (this has been proven in the past) will not make me look like Shakira. So why why why do I torture myself?
Perhaps I am trying to make myself suffer to pay back for the wrongs I have committed in my past life....like making my baby sister take a bite of the tomato worm (which I might add she has never forgoten and still randomly brings up..I am pretty sure she has NOT forgiven me)or perhaps it is the time I beat the little mouse to death that had the nerve to nest in my Halloween decorations ( I was pretty proud of myself that I was fast enough to chase it down and then KILL it...Mom if you reading this...know that IF the mouse had not crossed into my domain and was merely wondering around in the back yard then he would still be alive today)
So for my wrongs on Saturday I plodded 7 miles and then walked almost 2 miles. Sunday afternoon biked 25 miles with my Y friends and one mother of a Y friend (Chloe you ROCK)...
Result of Half Marathon Training Week One: if you have the following totals 17 miles plodding, walk 5 miles and bike 50 miles..do not eat Magnifco Pizza, do not indulge in Frosty consumption, do not repeatedly raid husband's stash of snicker bars, cookies and doughnuts then you will be rewarded with a loss of three pounds (despite eating lunch Saturday at Dog and Suds and having an honest to goodness rootbeer laden with sugar)

Family Update:

Adam: is doing his business in the potty....well most of his business...
Keaton: has two teeth and is cutting three more all at once...and he is still pretty happy...I think he is happy cause he knows the teeth mean COOKIES!
Denise: Needs poker intervention
The Slug: GOING TO THE Y AND WORKING ON BECOMING UNSLUGIFIED

Tales from the Fat Side

2009-06-21T08:57:00.005-04:00

Vacation + Food= Slow Fat Kim
I am back from my vacation. Unfortunately my vacation consisted of much dining out which then results in my whining about how hard it is to run when one is carrying Wendys, Cici's Pizza, Pizza King, etc...around one's big old gut. Lucky for me I have running buddies that will run with me whether I am slow or slower.

I spent a long weekend at Brown County browsing thru stores where items were tagged $$+. I might add there were several bric a brac items that I swear I have seen on the Dollar tree shelf that were now sitting on the shelf of a rustic boutique for like a 200% markup. I guess cheap looking ceremic pineapple pitchers have become all the trend so they can be marked $29.00. Alas I have never been one of those homey woman that can take ceremic bric a brac, ivy and dried flowers and make a home look like a Better Homes and Gardens show place. The only thing I really really wanted was the doormat that says "Don't forget to wipe" but I wanted it for my bathroom...cause I am kinda lovin the bathroom humor... I also wanted to get my daughter the tee shirt that had a mother holding a screaming child, surrounded by overflowing laundry and a sink full of dishes that said "Life is Crap". I guess it is a good thing I have my husband because he keeps me from buying stuff like that. Yep Tacky is my middle name. Well all in all it was a good weekend. Returned home and spend the rest of my vacation doing "Camp Grandma". Movies, bowling, Monkey Joes...pizza, pizza, fast food...okay I guess it was not Brown County that made me fat...it was "Camp Grandma". More to follow.

Puke, Fall on the Ground or Keep on Plodding

2009-04-04T09:13:00.002-04:00

This mornings run: HARD. I did not feel good. I could not decide which I was more inclined to do...puke or just throw myself down on the ground. Kris told me I could not throw myself on the ground because she was not, whether the scales are down or not(please see side bar weight ticker on blog), carrying my sorry butt back to the car...so I kept going..I had to walk a couple of times because I was sweating buckets, which felt to me like the nasty bacteria that is making me ill was making a hasty retreat from my unwilling host body. At one time I declared I was gonna "cut it short". To which Jill says "How about you finish the 6 and we will just slow it down." Because I am easily influenced by peer pressure I continued on. Now you all know about my mad passion for my caffine fix(actually dominates my mad passion for cookies). Me, lover of coffee, woman who would hand over her very last dollar for just sip of Joe, woman who would actually sign over her parental rights for a good cup of coffee (okay I admit when my kids were young I probably would have done that for absolutely nothing)ordered just a SMALL coffee after this mornings run...now that ladies and gentlemen is when you know Kimmie is actually sick and not slacking.

Spring Fling: Spring Fling is today..in just hours my yard will be filled with children running amuck as they gather their easter eggs. Before they get here I should probably do poop and scoop duty as the dog has also been running amuck in the yard. I don't think I will get high Grandma/Aunt marks if the children are coated with sticky candy and dog poo.

Have a great week all and for those of you that are fighting the battle...keep on fighting!

Missionary of Fatness

2009-03-22T09:06:00.003-04:00

I am an obese woman. It does not matter if I have lost over 100 pounds. It does not matter that I am currently losing. Always inside is the obese woman struggling to emerge. This is not said in jest. Unless you have been obese you will never truely fathom the depth of the struggle that I and others face every day of our lives. People have said that overeating is not an addiction. That overeating is nothing more then weakness of will. Overeating, in my case, is not just weakness of will. It is a fullblown addiction. There are days when I feel crazed with the need to eat. Not just eat a cookie or two, but to eat till excess, eat till most "normal" people would be puking their guts out. When I get to the "puking level" I feel good. I feel satisfied. I feel like a junkie who has long last gotten their fix. I read on another blog a saying that is so very true: "Smokers can keep their tiger in the cage, Overeaters have to take their tigers out of the cage three times a day" My tiger is currently on a leash when I take it out of it's cage. But every single day of my life I fear that MY tiger will again rip loose of it's leash and devour everything within it's sight and smell.
When I pass an extremely obese person. I want to cry. I want to rush to their side and hold them and tell them that it is okay. That there ARE others that know their struggle.
Currently I am working with a woman that is in the midst of the battle. I ache for her because I know she struggles every single day and there is absolutely nothing I can do for her other then to walk by her side as she begin the battle of obesity.
My friend Jill, who well knows my struggles, is the one who runs by my side to help me in my battle. Every day I thank God for my friends that walk and run by my side!Most of these people are soldiers...they fight the battle too.

I guess the point of this entire rambling paragraph is for those who have never been "Obese" to revisit your thoughts on the obese. If you pass a person on the street that is large...please don't assume that they are just "fat, lazy and lack self control" Please please understand that these people are in emotional AND physical pain.

My goal in life is to reach out to as many people as I can. To give them hope to not let them give up...

What It Really Means

2009-03-08T09:21:00.002-04:00

Said: It will be nice to run along the river.
What it really means: Maybe If I give her something new to look at she will stop whining about how this is going to kill her.

Said: I am really glad I came.
What it really means: This beats scrubbing out the toilet.

Said: Let's do 5 1/2 since we are feeling good.
What it Really Means: We're gonna do 6. I don't care if you feel like puking.

Said: Did you hear what I said?
What it Really Means: Hey I better get her to talk I think she is
blacking out.

Said: Kimmie you rock!
What it really means: I am really glad you didn't puke.

Said: Have a good today Kimmie!
What it Really Means: DO NOT EAT THREE BOXES OF THIN MINTS!

Said: See you next week
What it Really Means: I guess the toilet isn't gonna get cleaned next weekend either.

Fun Factor: 1000% (the mud added about 999% of the fun)

Honesty---Its not for the Weak

2009-02-20T06:07:00.002-05:00

Honesty is hard. Honesty is brutally. After almost a year of sludging thru plods I FINALLY ADMITTED IT. I, an already slow plodder, became EVEN MORE SLOW. Yes my pre mini injury started the ball rolling but now I am slow because I became a PUDGE! Please note on my side bar my accountablity ticker. I have rededicated myself to weight loss. No more weekend meals dining out. No more sneak away lunch time WHINE&DINES with my sister. No more Sara Lee in my freezer. And worse of all NO MORE NEVER ENDING SUPPLY OF COOKIES ( I might add I have made this declaration during my favorite time of year...GIRL SCOUT COOKIE TIME). I am allowed out to eat once every other week. That is a time that is looked upon with much anticipation, drooling and lustfully thoughts about decadent desserts. Several weeks ago my husband had told me he accepted a lunch invitation from one of the men at church. I was horrified, not because I don't like the man and his wife, because they are kind and funny people, but because this was not my designated week to eat out! I told my husband, "I can't do this because it is NOT the week for my dining out" My poor husband protests that he already accepted.I being the unyeilding, bossy woman that I am respond with "We will just have to uninvite ourselves" Fortunately for me I had just been talking to the gentleman's wife about my weight loss goals and my weight loss plan. When her husband told her we would all be going to lunch she told him we would be rescheduling because she knew it was not on my week to eat out. How can you not love a woman like that! At any rate, crisis was averted....that is until the weekend arrived and I realized that if I was dining with people that I don't know all that well that I would have to EAT POLITE LIKE A LADY. I complained and whined. I carried on like the world had come to an end (complete with nashing of teeth and thrashing of the head). I told my husband that "I DID NOT WANT TO EAT MY SPECIAL MEAL WITH PEOPLE I HAD TO BE POLITE WITH" I tell you I torture the poor man with my insanity. I was crazed at the thought thought of chewing each piece of food 100 times, of not being to order the 16 ounce big piece o' giant meat and having to order the ladies 6 ounce bit o meat. I was in tears at the thought of not being able to unhinge my jaw and devouring my steak in one bite. No desset. No rolls. No emptying the bucket of peanuts. Just polite lady like nibbles...I must say the story ends well. These people are not what I would call big eaters but they ordered an appetizer and seemed to quite enjoy it. While they did order a salad for dinner (I never really understand people that do this) they ATE EVERY BITE, which increased my comfort level by like a 1000%. There is nothing worse then eating dinner with someone who orders a salad and leaves half of it because THEY ARE STUFFED!So all in all my special treat was not quite the lost experience I thought it would be. However, next weekend is my dining out week and I making sure I go with someone from my family!

Grandchildren: Last weekend Jerry and were able to keep not 1, not 2, not 3 but all 4 of our beautiful grandchildren. That is a 3month old, a 2 year old, 3 year old and 11 year old. I got to say Jerry and I still have it! We managed all 4 children! However, Grandma refused to cook dinner and sent Grandpa for a McDonald's run.

MY SLACKER NEW WORKOUT BUDDY: My daughter and I have made an agreement to lose at least 25 pounds by the last day of spring. This will be done thru food control and EXERCISE. So my daughter somewhat hesitantly agrees to accompany me to the gym. Our first workout was successful. She worked hard and except for the comment of "Why can't I just have Lipo instead of doing this crap" seemed motiviated. The second workout she worked hard but was much more vocal in her dislike of sweating, exercise and again says "WHY CAN'T I JUST HAVE LIPO". The third scheduled workout I have to call her and tell her I have to work late and will not be able to make it. She does not volunteer to go alone. She says good she did not feel like going anyway. I, one not to be distracted from my goal, quickly schedule our fourth workout...Saturday at 8:15. The response was "8:15 in the morning?" I should have known that things weren't going to go well after that remark. I affirm that yes that would be 8:15 AM. She agrees because 8:15 a.m does not feel so early at 7:00 at night when you are being asked. So the next morning my workout buddy strolls into the Y at 8:30 AM and declares it to be much to early to exercise and why do we have to do this at 8:15 in the morning. I smile and point out that it is not 8:15 it is now 8:30 a.m and say "cause you wanna go to your husband's highschool reunion". She responds by saying she has changed her mind and hubby can go by himself. My workout buddy begins the process of "Break the Trainer's Spirit" by walking on the treadmill slower then a 110 year old woman. As, I am nothing but persistant, I remove her from the treadmill and put her on the Precor. This was no more effective then the treadmill as she was using the console as a headrest. Okay maybe this isn't the week for cardio...so we do 15 minutes on the Precor in a mostly prone position and then hit the floor for a killer ab workout, or at least what I planned to be a killer Ab workout. Kendra likes the mats. She likes the mats for napping and stretching out on. Kendra does not like killer AB work in the morning anymore then she likes Cardio. Dejected I dismiss her from her workout. I have failed in my attempt to be a "Jillian". Kendra will be working out this weekend. I will give her a reprieve and she can do Saturday at 9:30. Surely 9:30 a.m. cannot be declared as "the middle of the night". Then as a special treat I will take her to the gym after I get off work at a "decent time". She will then pay a heavy price for the slacker workout she gave me on Saturday!

Grandpa Paparazzi Strikes Again

2009-02-14T06:07:00.007-05:00

Cookie Withdrawl, Pants that Bind and Shirts that Gap

2009-01-13T19:17:00.004-05:00

1,000,000 christmas cookies later and I am back to the world o'blog.

The result of consuming unlimited Christmas cookies is:

A) Cookie withdrawl that is way worse then any drug withdrawl. I want to throw myself down on the ground in a fit of hysteria as my body and mind scream for cookies. My mind cannot be tricked by giving it a cracker...it knows...it knows...

B) Pants that can only be fastened by an elaborate process of laying down on the bed, taking a BIG deep breath, holding holding holding, pulling pulling pulling...ahhhhh snapped...call for someone to help pull me upright...no one answers my plea for help...have to rock back and forth like a flipped Turtle till I manage to flip to my stomach, where I then use my awesome upper body strength to push myself up and off the bed. There is no bending during the first few weeks of cookie recovery, on the plus side my posture looks excellent from the inability to bed at the waist.

C)Shirts that now expose my bra. It was a cool look at 20...at 46 not so much.

What is the solution to over indulgence of cookies?
PLODDING, PLODDING AND MORE PLODDING.

Upon calculation of cookie calories consumed from the day before Thanksgiving to the 5th of January it has been determined that I would have to run to California, back home again and then down to Florida and back in order to break even.

Who you might ask would plod with a crazed with withdrawal cookie addict, none other then my Y friends who have gone with me thru thick and thin..no pun intended. Thanks to Jill who will run with me on Saturday when it is cold and icy and slippery, uncomplaining as we run at a snail's pace when she can run swift as a deer. Thanks to Jeff who will put aside his own training goals to run slowly with Kim cause the cookies are weighing her down. Thanks to Tim Slick who will run with Kim during the midweek slump, cause if she had to do it on her own...she wouldn't. So what a blessed girl cause I have an awesome Y family and an awesome biological family...

Things that are great about my family

1) I don't have to clean my house for them...cause none of them like to clean either

2)They all love food too, so they don't stare at me in horror when I down a cookie tray for five by myself. They actually are quite impressed.

3)They think it is funny when I eat to the point that I am rolling on the couch clutching my stomach.

4)Nobody minds that on account of our stupidness that it takes us an entire afternoon to play a Trivia game...however we do really good at cartoon, fast food and bodily function categories.

5)The adults like toys as much as the kids.

6)Eveyone has become a musical genius thanks to guitar hero and rock band...I dare the drummer of Def Lepard to challenge anyone in our family to a drum off.

7) When some of the family members get to take a trip to Vegas the others are not resentful and jealous.

8)Even if there was some family member who might be a teeny bit resentful and a tiny bit jealous cause they are not going to get to go to Vegas to see Stars of faded glory strut their stuff on stage,(not to be named cause I don't wanna get sued by faded stars) they will still watch their most adorable sweet grandson while the others go off for a funfilled weekend.

9)Family members that go away on funfilled trips leaving the not resentful and not jealous family members home ALWAYS remember to bring a little something home for those not resentful not jealous family members.

10)If someone in the family wins a million dollars at the casino they always pay off the other family members mortgages.

A Song of Christmas Gluttony:

On the first day of Christmas Kim began her feast by consuming an entire cheese ball.

On the Second day of Christmas Kim continues to feast swallowing a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.

On the Third day of Christmas Kim continues to feast devouring a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball

On the Fourth day of Chistmas Kim continues to feast eating a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.

On the Fifth day of Christmas Kim continues to feast nibbling thru a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.

On the Sixth day of Christmas Kim continues to feast by chowing down a 5 lb Honey Spiral Ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.

On the Seventh day of Christmas Kim continues to feast by ingesting a large pumpkin pie, a 5 lb honey spiral ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.

On the Eighth day of Christmas Kim continues to feast by inhaling a 1 lb pound bag of mixed nuts, a large pumpkin pie, a 5 lb honey spiral ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.

On the Ninth day of Christmas Kim continues to feast, her pants will not fasten but she still munches thru a 1 lb pound bag of mixed nuts, a large pumpkin pie, a 5 lb honey spiral ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.

On the tenth day of Christmas Kim continues to feast, shirt buttons a poppin, pants will not fasten but she still gobbles down a 1 lb pound bag of mixed nuts, a large pumpkin pie, a 5 lb honey spiral ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.

On the eleventh day of Christmas Kim continues to feast, a double chin a showing, shirt buttons are a poppin, pants will not fasten but she still wolfs down a 1 lb pound bag of mixed nuts, a large pumpkin pie, a 5 lb honey spiral ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.

On the twelth day of Christmas Kim continues to feast, plodding turn to walkin, a double chin a showing, shirt buttons are a poppin, pants will not fasten but she still wolfs down a 1 lb pound bag of mixed nuts, a large pumpkin pie, a 5 lb honey spiral ham, a bowl of puppy chow, a 2 lb box of fannie mae, a cookie platter made for five, a whole pecan pie and an entire cheese ball.

On the Fifth day of the New Year Kim no longer feasts, walking turns to plodding, double chin a fading, shirt buttons not a poppin, pants soon to fasten, mixed nuts to no nuts, pumpkin pie to yogurt, honey ham to Turkey, puppy chow to Special K, fannie mae to sugar free jello , cookie platter to veggie platter, pecan pie to sugar free pudding and alas cheese ball to fat free, milk free artificial cheese......

CLEANING HOUSE ROCKS!!!!!

2008-11-23T16:56:00.006-05:00

As most people are well aware I do not like to clean. My cleaning episodes are few and far between and usually happen when the weather gets cold. Thank goodness I have a husband that adores to clean. Oh my how I prattle..well anyway I had a cleaning episode yesterday morning since it was my rest day from working out. I got up and started mopping floors, then the I decided maybe I should clean out my cabinets (as I am injured by falling greenbeans every time I open the door). My cabinets looked so good that I started looking around and what do you know there is dust...dust on my bric a brac. So I dust and what do I come across M&Ms! Happy Day Happy Day CLEANING IS AWESOME AND I HAVE BEEN GIFTED WITH A PACK OF M&MS FOR MY TROUBLES. My husband sees me with the M&Ms clutched in my greedy fat little hand and he says "Hey those are mine". Well I knew that in fact that they were originally purchased by me so Adam and I could have a little snack and Jerry had TAKEN THEM AWAY FROM US BECAUSE "NEITHER OF YOU NEED TO BE EATING CANDY" I never saw them again until Saturday morning. His declaration of ownership had absolutely no impact on me as I tilted back my head and swallowed half a bag of M&Ms at once. So today I decide to clean my closet, not because I thought there would be candy but because it really was kinda messy and guess what...I FOUND THREE WHOLE BAGS OF CANDY. CLEANING HOUSE ROCKS! I was a good girl today and dutifully turned over to the Candy Marshal so he could dispense with it.

Baby Keaton: Baby Keaton is a sweetie. However Baby Keaton played the ultimate male trick...have a hissy fit in hopes of discouraging Mommy from attending the shopping expedition with Grandma and Aunt Kendra. Keaton did not win this battle of wills...Mommy 1... Keaton probaby 200. Keaton was happy when Grandma and Aunt Kendra cuddled him close and walked him through the mall. Keaton was happy when he went to Pepes. Keaton probabaly would have been really happy if he got to eat EL POPO..but Mommy only let him have bottled breast milk. Keaton is going to have Grandma time on Wednesday. Keaton, Grandma and Grandpa...look for lots of pictures.
KEATONS FIRST VISIT TO GRANDMA AND GRANDPAS HOUSE PRE MALL

GRANDMA LOVES HER LITTLE GUY

Adam: Adam got to spend the night with Grandma and Grandpa last night. After shopping Kendra and Grandma stopped by to pick him up. He was all Papaw Papaw EVEN though it was Grandma's idea to pick him up and spend time with him. Grandma rates second to Grandpa until it is time to be pulled in the wagon or brush his teeth or go to bed...THEN it is Mamaw Mamaw. Adam went shopping and was actually very good. He found a Santa hat that we had to buy and he wore it thru the Dollar Store and thru Payless and then all morning.
EVEN SANTA'S ELVES LIKE TO MAKE PANCAKES

UP DOWN REPEAT

2008-11-19T05:00:00.003-05:00

So in my pursuit of fastness...Hill Repeats were ordered.
All I can say is BLECK! It was cold cold cold and DARK and did I say COLD? I was the first one at the hill so I thought what the heck I am slower then the others (okay WAY SLOWER) so I started without them. Up the hill this chubby girl went. Wow this isn't as bad as I thought it would be. Then the others arrived...OH I AM SUPPOSE TO GO UP THE HILL FASTER THEN I USUALLY PLOD? YOU GOTTA BE KIDDING ME! So I increased my pace and then...IT DID FEEL AS BAD AS I THOUGHT IT WOULD.
Over up the hill down the the hill 4 3/4 times. I was going to stop at 3 3/4 but as you know I am easily influenced by peer pressure (thank goodness my friends just run and don't drink at bars all night)so I finished! Thanks to Jeff and Russ for encourageing me up and over the hill!
Monday and Tuesday food has been good! I love the weekdays. I can stay on program...the weekends...well Gluttenous Kim comes out to play. Evil Starbucks lures me with Pumpkin Spice Lattes. Cookies shriek my name and my debit cards screams use me use me take me out to lunch.
Workout Schedule this Week"
Monday: 2miles slow run, Ab work
Tuesday: Hill work 45 minutes, Upper Body Lifting
Wednesday: 2 miles Walk/Run (with the elusive Tom Slick no less)
Thursday: 5 mile climate Run
Friday: Spinning/Power Hour
Saturday: Off
Sunday: 3 mile run

Newly Found Knowlege:
I love NERDS. My house has been emptied of trick or treat candy. Well it probably is still in the house but my husband hid it well enough that I could not find it. So Sunday I NEEDED CANDY BAD. I looked around nothing but crappy NERDS. In the past I have never had a desire to eat this totally kid candy but hey I was desperate, so I opened up a box and took a mouthful...YUM! Grape and Strawberry NERDS are yummy! I went to get some more and the bag of NERDS is now missing. Husband saw that I was loving the NERDS and made them go away...I was kinda glad but mostly sad....

Being Grandparents is Great Fun

2008-11-16T09:18:00.008-05:00

Just Like Grandma!

Eventually he did share the crackers.

Only the Coolest Grandpa's Play with Play Doh.

Pssst...my Grandpa is BOOOORRRRING

He doesn't want breast milk. He wants cookies.

Why I do the things I Do

2008-11-15T05:22:00.002-05:00

As I stared into the mirror, I might add with a look of disgust and horror, I asked myself "Why after 4 years of plodding and lifting do I not yet look like Shakira?" Then I asked myself,"Since I don't look like Shakira WHY AM I STILL DOING THIS?" So as I am the master list maker a list was made:

Why I Keep Plodding Despite Not Looking Anymore Like Shakira Then When I First Began:
1. I have the most awesome climate run friends in world and would miss them terribly if I stopped going.(For those of you unfamiliar with what a climate run is. It is running at an insanely early time in the morning 4:45 a.m.no matter what the weather is like.)
2. I really really really like cookies.
3. I evidently love oxygen deprivation and pain running throughout my body.
4.It is better then tequila for making you forget your problems.
5. Because all the cool kids do it.

Okay after reviewing my list I went back an gazed into the mirror of horror and guess what....I think I might have been mistaken... my right calf might have started to slightly have a Shakira like shape...so the plodding resumes. I guess I better add number 6 to my list
6. I am an eternal optimist.

Updates:

After talking to my climate run friend Jeff, it has been determined that I need speedwork. LOTS OF SPEEDWORK (as you know I am still traumatized by knowing that I run slower then an undernourished kitten) so a review follows of Tuesday's speedwork:

Speed Work a/k/a Hurt Real Bad Work

After much sloughing off due to my pre mini injury I have decided that slow plodding Kim needs to be banished forever more. So dutifully I appeared at Jeff's Tuesday morning speed workout. What I did can not truely be described as Speed Work but is more aptly described as "Less Slow Workout" What a nice surprise to see the happy smiling faces of Leo, Danna and Russ! I might add that I am the ONLY one that needs speed work so the fact that 4 of my friends were in attendance made me get kinda weepy.

Overheard at that Tuesday morning workout:
Kim "My heartrate is too high I need to walk"
Leo "Get going your heart is not going to explode" (Leo NEVER feels
sorry for me, despite my great physical discomfort and agony)

Russ: "This reminds me of phys ed class in highschool"
Jeff: "Why? Did you run with fat kids then too" (Okay this remark
made me laugh so hard I really thought my heart was going to explode!)

Kim: "I feel like the hounds of hell are behind me."
Russ: "Thats right! Get Going"

Jeff: "Come on Kimmie Push!"
Kim "GAAAAAASP OKAAAAAAY"

Kim: "Can you stop by my house on the way to take me to the hospital
so I can put my crockpot on low"

Kim: "Tell my family I always loved them"

Jeff: "Good Job Kimmie! (a comment very much appreciated by winded and tired Kim)

Danna: "I promise you that hills will make you faster"

So we finished and the next speedwork will take place on Tuesay at the Hill of Hell (which is at the opposite end of town from Puke Mountain).

Earlier I referred to my being the master list maker. This is an absolutely true fact, not like when I refer to myself as Master of All that is Around Me.
I love to make lists. I make list of the lists I need to make. I put things on my list that I do as routine just so I can cross them off ex..brush teeth. I might add that seldom are my lists ever completed but that does not stop me. Somethings I have had on my lists for years...ex clean out laundry room closet...take children's precious child hood memories in a box and drop them off on their porches. But my favorite list of all is "THE MASTER CHRISTMAS LIST" It starts off with items I have been told they want and items I think they actually need in regular font. As I purchase the items I then bold the typeface. When the items are wrapped the get changed to bold red typeface. Oh how I love love love my "THE MASTER CHRISTMAS LIST" I then try to hide my "THE MASTER CHRISTMAS LIST" but I do belive my family violates my privacy and READS my "THE MASTER CHRISTMAS LIST" This year I have outsmarted them allbecause I have a decoy "THE MASTER CHRISTMAS LIST". More fun for me because I got to make yet another list.

Well it is time to plod so off I go for yet another round of oxygen deprivation and pain runnning throughout my body!

**Due to the early time..correct grammer, puncuation and spelling is optional***

AND THE MOMENT WE HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR!

2008-11-06T15:09:00.007-05:00

Keaton James Kaufman 9.8 ounce 22 inches long. Grandma has a future Purdue Boilermaker lineman!
Keaton has the softest blackest hair, rosy cheeks and looks just like his Daddy.
Tasha had to work really really hard to bring her big boy into the world!
It was a surprise that Tasha had him on Tuesday because Monday's doctor appointment she was told nothing was going on and Sunday she would go into the hospital to be induced. My heart went out to poor Tasha because she is such a little thing to be carrying such a big baby...

So I say "why don't you come over for dinner" Meatloaf, homemade mashed pototoes, greenbeans, cornbread muffins and apple crisp for dessert..ummm a meal fit for a mother to be. The next morning Tasha is in labor in the hospital...
Could: Grandma have slipped labor inducing drugs into her daughter in laws meatloaf? Could Baby Keaton have liked dinner so much that he decided not to miss another one of Grandma's home cooked meals and so worked to be born by dinner time the next day? hmmmm?

Spooktacular Evenings

2008-11-06T14:42:00.008-05:00

Pre Halloween Fun

Trick or Treat night arrives!
Vampire, Princess and Ballerina OH MY!

Overheard on Trick or Treat Night:
"I want allore" (Adam language for candy)
"I want allore NOW" spoken by Adam even louder
"Can you pull me in the wagon?" asked by 6 year old Abby.
"Absolutely not...your legs aren't broken" spoken by Grandma Kim who refused to pull 3 children in the wagon.
"That was very stressful and I even took a Xanax" Spoken by Amanda a new mommy who has never taken mulitple children trick or treating.
"I still hate trick or treat night" spoken by Grandma Denise who has 24 years of trick or experience with mulitple children
"I think I have gummy bears stuck in my hair can somebody pick them out?" Grandma Kim after carrying Adam on her shoulders while he was eating gummybears (fyi no one offered)
"Yeah that was just as fun as I remembered" Grandma Kim who has 27 years of trick or treat experience with mulitple children.

New Information:
The rich mommies do not take their children trick or treating...their nannys take them...Rich mommies sit on the porch and sip wine while handing out candy.

Halloween Fun

2008-11-06T14:29:00.009-05:00

October 24 was Grandma's Craft and Cookie Night!
Started out with painting...2,3, 5 and 6 and 10 yr olds with paint brushes...I am sure you can imagine the fun that was had!

Frosting Cookies: Grandma hands out plain sugar cookies...the plan was to frost and sprinkle..as soon as I put them on the plate they were having bites taken out them...we decorated them anyway cause Grandma's don't care about germs.

Games were played. 2 year olds do not know how to take turns.
5 and 6 year olds have no patience for 2 years olds that do not know how to take turns.

Empty Nest Compensation

2008-10-13T06:37:00.011-04:00

I thought when children grew up and left home that women have empty nest syndrome and pace around sobbing and wailing for their "lost" children. I have yet to wail and the only time I sob is when I am trying to plod up 4th street hill...okay ANY hill. I also thought they had lots of free time in which they could lay around watching Oprah and Dr. Phil. Why don't I have time for Oprah and Dr. Phil? Is it because I don't use my time wisely or is it because my life actually is busy? It just seems like I have less time then ever despite having no children at home. But I have to say I am lovin' every minute of my life!
September activies: Earl Park Festival, Two Birthday Parties, Brookston Apple Popcorn Festival, One Baby Shower hosted by me and my very creative daughter, Trip to the Feast of the Hunters Moon...I guess I was kinda busy...

What the cool kids have at their birthday parties:

Gee Mom why didn't I get one of those. I don't even think I got a pony!

The birthday boy:

When asked if he had licked the cake he replied "No" but I think the proof is in the picture.

Keaton and His Mommy at Keaton's Baby Shower:

Kendra and I hosted the party:
Chicken Salad and Turkey Croissants, Chips, Fresh Strawberries, Grapes and Pineapple with Cream Cheese Fruit dip, Pasta Salad, Nuts and Mints, Punch...complete with baby ducks afloatin' and Cake..we passed on the traditional baby shower cake decorations and went for curious George as Keaton's bedroom is done in Curious George.

Adam already violating his cousin's possessions:

Who Knew a Bomb Pop could dye a child blue?

October is here! What ever do I do in the month of October?
Birthday party for my favorite son in law..yes he is my only son in law but he would be my favorite even if I had more. Annual Trek to the Covered Bridge Festival was this weekend. I was accompanied by one daughter and one very very pregnant daughter in law. BIG KUDOs to the woman who is nine months pregnant and walked the hills of Mansfield without even one complaint! We were hoping to walk Keaton out of her but he is one stubborn boy and did not even try to come out...
Upcoming Events: October 24, Halloween Craft and Cookie Night...a night of Halloween fun and games at Grandma and Grandpa's house....dinner will be served for both the young and the old...I guess they could even decorate a cookie with the kids.

October 25 65 mile bike ride with friends! Yeah I have not had a long ride since September and I am needing it...Next year I have my eye on "The Bucket Ride" 120 miles of fun!

October 31: Trick or Treat night...Pot of Chili on the Stove for those that need nourishment before doing the trick or treat trek.

Fitness Update:
I am much honored to have been picked as a "Coach" for the better weigh in contest at the Y. Who would ever think that someone would look to me as a role model?

Running: Wooooo HOOOOOOOO I plodded 5 miles without stopping to walk AND that included 4th Street hill a/k/a Puke Mountain and 9th street...which is only rated with a 25% puke factor. It's been a long time coming...my knee did not start to tug until mile 4..so that is an improvement. Usually mile 3 it starts in. The company was great so it took my mind off the fact that I CANNOT BREATHE AND AM PRETTY SURE I AM IN THE THROES OF DEATH during my plods.

Biking: So sad no biking..no time...sob sob can't wait till October 25!

Now for the more insightful part of my post. Words of Wisdom or Encourgement I have been told:

What doesn't make you stonger will just hurt you real bad

You better eat your pie now cause there won't be any left later ( I piece of advice I used often and it made me fat!)

Waa get going (spoken by Jill when I told her I was tired and could not breath)

The first mile is the hardest. ( I am pretty sure I still don't believe this)

Keep your old car cause at least you know what is wrong with it You buy another used car and you might get even worse problems. (My father's analogy on marriage and divorce)

Don't forget to go the bathroom before we leave cause it's a long ride.(Told to me by my Grandson Ty when he was 3 yrs old before we left to go to a festival)

Quit Whining (spoken to me by everybody I have ever plodded with..oh and my huband a zillion times)

A Tail of Humiliation

2008-09-11T21:02:00.001-04:00

Climate Run Thursday September 11, 2008
Attendees: Several really FAST people, One very PATIENT person and one REALLY slow person

4:45 a.m. and all the world sleeps except for the insane. What, you
might ask, do insane people do at 4:45 a.m? They do the CLIMATE run.

Off they go... the fast ones hurl off into the darkness, Kim reminds
Jeff that last Thursday he vowed to stay by her side as Leo cannot be at the climate run this Thursday. She also advises Jeff that due to the incredible pain in her back side that she will be going slower then her usual slow but she expects him to still be a man of his word and stay with her despite the the slow motion plod.

Why is Kim slower then slow? Because she thought it would be a really good idea on Wed. to plod for 3.5 miles and then do lunges from one end of her street to the other. Kim now cannot sit or walk without immense pain and discomfort. (It might be noted that if one does lunges in public then one will be gawked at).

Kim and Jeff plod side by side. Jeff does not complain about the
snails pace that Kim is plodding. They come to Leo's house. Jeff and Kim contemplate banging on Leo's door to give him one last chance to attend the climate run. Kim thinks it is an awesome idea because she knows he has coffee...good coffee...Their better judgment prevails (cause they wanna live) and they speed past Leo's house...okay PLOD past Leo's house. Kim is sad because she has not yet had coffee. The world is an ugly brutal cold place without coffee. Kim cannot exist in a world without coffee.

Kim tried to plod without her IT Band. Kim's knee was not in agreement with this. Kim's knee swears it hates her and will make her suffer.Kim promises her knee if it will just make it thru the route she will buy it a brand new IT Band..maybe one with sparkles and sequins....

Jeff and Kim are chased by a Wolf...okay it was a HUGE dog...okay it was a sorta of medium dog...but it had a really big bark. The owner half heartedly called his wild beast back. The wild beast totally ignored his owner and continued to chase after Kim and Jeff, probably trying to determine which one would be the meatest. The wild beast finally slinks off and Kim and Jeff are free to plod without fear.

It seems unlikely that Kim and Jeff would have yet a second encounter with a vicious animal...but yet....Kim and Jeff are chased by a Mountain Lion....okay okay it was not a mountain lion...it was HUGE FELINE...okay I cann't lie it was a kitten. A kitten that insisted on following Kim and Jeff all the way down Lafayette Drive to the Jeff Square parking lot. Kim shoo shoos the kitten. She picks it up and turns it around hoping it will go back the other direction. The kitten loves Kim and Jeff. Jeff tells Kim to take it home with her. Kim says her dog will eat the kitten (as her dog has a past history of eating cats) and besides she could not get it home as she rode her bike to the Y. Kim tells Jeff to take it home. Jeff says NO NO NO. She tells him perhaps he could take it home and give it to his brother as a present. Jeff is skeptical that giving a kitten as a present is a good idea. Kim suggest taking it back to the Y and giving it to Kris as a
token of their appreciation for all her hard work. Ultimate Kim and
Jeff decide the kitten must be left behind. They plod a little faster in hopes of losing the kitten. It was humiliating. Kim cannot outpace a kitten.

Kim has learned a few things on this climate run:
Plodding without coffee has a -1000 fun factor
Knee pain will not subside by promising her knee "knee bling"
A dog will not eat her because she is to fatty and not meaty enough.
She cannot run faster then an undernourished kitten.

Why I love my life!

2008-09-11T19:47:00.007-04:00

I Want to Ride My Bicycle I Want to Ride My Bike

2008-09-01T10:38:00.002-04:00

All is well on the running front..welll at least as well as can be for the Queen of the Plodders. I managed to run 5 miles with only one Leo assigned water break. No knee brace...minimal knee discomfort. It was slow it was steady but only one tiny water walk break! I do believe for the most part that I am healed. So I will be uping my running days to three days a week. THERE WAS ZERO WHINING ON THE CLIMATE RUN...well except for the plea for relief when I saw the climate runners turn toward downtown. I am not healed enough to do PUKE MOUNTAIN. Leo took pity on me and he took me on a flat five mile route...all I can say is Thank you thank you thank you Leo!

On the bike front....EVERYTHING IS EXCELLENT!
August 23 I did a 65 mile route...well actually 68 miles as I missed a turn and had to back track! 13.8 average pace..which is kinda slow but for my longest ride ever I am quite pleased. I did have an average pace of almost 15 till I hit that last 20 miles which was mostly hills...not baby hills...puke moutain hills...one hill in particular I just wanted to get off my bike and push it up the hill...but pride...pride...pride...pride...kept me on the bike and kept me pushing pushing pushing up the hill, even though I really wanted to cry like a baby and walk my bike up the hill. 68 miles is a long way to bike by yourself and I desperately missed my friends. The sag stops were set up great with lots of food and drink. However, I am not the get off my bike and chat kinda girl...I stopped...refilled my water bottle, one with gatorade, one with water and walked around for 5 minutes to stretch my legs and try to get some feeling back in my rear and then got back on the road. I did meet a really nice lady who told me I would be really fast on a road bike as I was keeping up with her on my hybrid...talk about giving a burst of confidence to a chubby middle aged weekend warrior. About 11:00 it heated up and it heated up fast. I went thru fluids like crazy (by the way orange gatorade taste like spic and span bleck..give me my powerade zero..yummy) and with 10 miles left to go I was out of fluid...... At last I saw a two mile marker. I don't know who said it was 2 because my odometer clearly showed I went almost 4 miles from that marker when I turned into the finish...and my odometer is right. The last mile I passed a biker laying flat on his back with his bike by his side. I went past him and then thought "Kim you should stop...what if he is dead...". So I turned around and went back. I asked him if he was okay. He said "Yep..its hot...discretion is the better part of valor" and then he laid back down. Then he says, "You should only have another mile left". At the finish line I was offered a sandwich...bleck...real bikers that can bike across states can eat sandwiches after riding 65 or 101 miles. Weekend warriors want to throw up at the sight of lunch meat. However, weekend warriors will eat popcicles and drink lots and lots of water. The rest of the day I could not get enough fluids. I drank and drank and drank. Surprisingly I was not in the least bit sore. I managed to go to the Jazz festival and walk around. I was advised that I was fatigued the last 20 miles and that my pace per mile went down because the only thing I ate on the ride was a small dixie cup of trail mix and nothing else. Matter of fact I was not hungry for the rest of the day but finally made myself eat at 10:00 at night....BIKING IS BETTER THEN DEXITRIM. Per my heart rate montitor I burnt an estimated 3400 calores on my bike ride! Thank you big giant hills!

I think I found my sport!

This weekend ride: Barb and I rode this Saturday. I got 26 miles in and it felt great! I am looking foward to another 65 mile ride soon!

Camp Grandma

2008-07-30T16:58:00.004-04:00

To get major Grandma love points I took my oldest Grandson to the local water park. Now, as you have probably heard before I am not a fan of water. I like water in my bathtub and in my waterbottle...other then that I have very little use for it. My attempts at swimming can mostly be described as a whole lot of flailing, even more splashing and getting absolutely no where. However, I love my grandson more then I dislike water and wanted him to have fun at his week of "Camp Grandma" so off we go...swimming suits on and lathered down with what I thought was an appropriate amount of sun screen for my cave white fish colored body. We get to the park and the boy is giddy with delight at the sight of the water slide. Grandma just kept thinking "Man that's a lot of steps to the top". But Grandma is a good sport if not a good athlete so she gamely steps into the lazy river...cause you gotta ride the lazy river to get to the water slide. Getting in the lazy river is not as easy as what you think cause you gotta load yourself onto a raft like doughnut or a plain old doughnut tube. My grandson just sticks it over his head and slides it down his body and then he can pull himself up and onto it. But for me that is a problem because that doughnut is not gonna fit over my somewhat generous form…the alternative is to hop on it. Now for a woman that is not graceful this is not a pretty sight. It involved a lot of hoisting, grunting and numerous slide offs before my bootie was wedged into the doughnut hole. Off I go, down the lazy river, to the off ramp to the water slide. Dismounting from the doughnut not much easier then wedging my self in, but with only the loss of my remaining dignity, I was able to pry myself out of the doughnut hole. This is the same doughnut hole that I would then have to rewedge myself back into once I climbed the bazillion steps to the top of the water slide. Water slide not so bad if you are a fan of being hurtled down a gushing tube full of water in the dark where at the end you are going to explode into yet more water, and probably be thrown from the tube. Surprise…I stayed in my tube…Not even the force of 1,000,000 gallons of water could unwedge me from my doughnut hole. So once again I had to flail, splash, grunt, hoist and wiggle to unwedge myself from the hole so that could climb out of the water slide water pit so that we could go on the water slide again. Finally Ty said he was ready to float around the river. I LOVE THE LAZY RIVER! All I needed was a good book and I could have floated for hours! But Grandsons have only so much interest in the lazy river and soon he was pulling me out of the lazy river to go explore the rest of the park. While Ty was going down the small water slide, Grandma had a chance to look around. Stay at home Mommies as far as the eye could see…all shapes and sizes…large mommies, large mommies in bikinis that should be wearing one pieces…skinny tan mommies that wore little teeny bikinis,..bikinies that were no bigger then the wet wipes they were carting in their diaper bags…medium sized mommies, tattooed mommies, bleached blond mommies that looked like they would be more at home on a stripper pole then in a baby wading pool…mommies mommies everywhere…most of them laying in the sun tanning themselves and napping while their children ran amuck. Why did not anyone tell me about the mommy hang out when I had young ones…I needed naps….I need to tell Amy and Kendra about the Mommy hang out…poor girls they actually play with and watch their children… Finally at 3:00 Ty and Grandma were done at the water park…and home they go…where Grandma spends 25 minutes trying to fit the bike tip onto the air compressor to air up Grandson’s tires so she can take him home via bike ride (which is how they got to Grandma’s) after 25 minutes and several phone calls to Grandpa and numerous not nice words flying thru Grandma‘s mind she finally figures it out. Grandma FINALLY airs up the tires and then lubes his chain and off they go to end the first day of Camp Grandma.

Please note that the amount of sunscreen slathered upon my person was insufficient resulting in one very fierce sunburn. Which conveniently was the cause of my inablity to run fast or long this morning. I think my sports bra ripped the raw burnt flesh from my body which caused a great deal of pain, which resulted in my legs refusing to move. MY INABILITY TO RUN WAS NOT CAUSED BY MY BELLY FAT OR MY LACK OF SKILL IT WAS ALL THE SUNBURN AS IT WILL BE TOMORROW.

Day Two: French toast, bacon and milk to start the camper’s day! A little computer time and off to see “The Dark Knight” which was an AWESOME MOVIE…Then home to play two games of Splat of which Grandma won a game and Tyson won a game. The championship game will be held tomorrow…stay tuned to see the exciting results of the Splat Championship Game.

Upcoming Events for Camp Grandma: Monster Golf and Chuckie Cheese.

I am taking applications for those of you that would like to attend next year’s Camp Grandma.

Flat on My Back and Looking Up at the Sky AGAIN

2008-07-28T10:56:00.003-04:00

My husband and my children for my birthday made this little chubby girls heart beat with delight...did they gift me with a GIANT BOX O'Cookies, Did they take me to an all you can eat buffet, Did they let me eat m&m's and reece cups till I threw up. NO! Though those are some pretty fine things....they got me a DIAMOND BACK HYBRID BIKE! As my friend said, "Diamonds are a girls best friend" I LOVE MY BIKE! I got to take it out on a long ride this saturday and had an amazing time...Ride Route was 28 miles. I had to ride 4.44 miles to get to the starting point and 4.44 miles to get to the napping point..so all in all about 37 miles of outright fun. My friend Kris and her husband a/k/a the Ultimate Male hosted a preride bike clinic for those of us who can't change tires and a post breakfast ride. However once again I found myself on the ground looking up at the sky as I hit gravel and fell (according to my friend, Jill, in slooooowwww motion) I had enough sense to slow the bike down but not enough sense to take me feet out of the clips so once again I was on my back looking up at the sky with my bike on top of me. (the previous fall happened in my back yard while I was complaining, trying to adjust my bike pack and trying to stay on my bike) The first fall I just got grass stain because I wasn't moving and I landed in the west grass). This fall was complete with gravel in my legs and arms, and BLOOD....whooooo hooo I am an official biker now.

I did it I did it I did it!

2008-07-11T05:41:00.001-04:00

I ran 5 miles with just 4 little walk breaks...no knee brace...with a sore back...and my leg does not hurt today! I am happy...oh so happpy and to top off my happy mood...I am invited to go on a 20 mile ride tomorrow and get to borrow my friends road bike so I don't give myself a heartattack riding on my 69.00 Walmart...its icing on the cake I till you...oh and I haven't eaten any cake since July 4...one week and cake free as of today! This girl is happppppy!

SNIPS AND SNAILS AND PUPPY DOG TAILS

2008-07-01T20:39:00.003-04:00

That is what little boys are made of! Grandma is gonna have another little guy! James and Tasha's baby quite happily turned over and showed everyone in the family that baby Kaufman is BABY BOY KAUFMAN. Tasha, Kendra and myself are escaping town in two weeks to go hit the outlet malls so that little guy can be dressed in the finest sporting gear..PUMA. Tasha is looking quite adorable with her baby bump...but poor Tasha, unlike the rest of the woman in our family, is not use to having a stomach obstruction that blocks things like...hmmm tying one's shoes....tucking one's shirt in....buttoning pants on the first try...but hey she looks adorable even if she is a tad bit uncomfortable. I can't wait to have a whole yardful of little boys running amuck in Grandma's yard, begging for freezer pops and slamming my screen door as they run in and out to get the freezer pops...that's odd those are the very same things I use to tell my kids to STOP doing. They are still working on the name thing...which they better hurry up or I am gonna get in the habit of calling him little guy and then it will stick.

Plodding: My experience taken from a country song, sung by Rodney Atkins (slightly revised by the Queen of the Plodders): "If your going through hell, Keep on going, don't slow down,don't start walking, you might finish your route before you even know your there...Yeah, If you're going through hell, Keep on moving, face that fire, Plod right through it, you might even finish the route before your heart gives out"
Okay so I might be slightly exaggarating...slightly. I managed to plod thru 3.25 miles both last week and this week both on Monday...ask me how many times I stopped to walk. NONE I say NONE. Ask me how fast I was. NOT AT ALL NOT AT ALL. Wednesday I do walk runs and Thursdays are 2 miles with no walking. I am easing back into it because the ligament is still not healed completely. As long as I keep an IT band on while steadily plodding I feel no pain. I feel no pain without the IT band while walk running. But no IT band and steady plodding brings discomfort. Monday I forgot my band. I plodded with no walking and toward the end my knee was trying to make itself heard....I turned up my MP3 player to drown out the complaints of my knee and kept going.

Biking: I LOVE IT! I am having major bike lust and must must must have a road bike so I can keep up with my friends with real bikes. The plan is to do a 65 mile bike in August. Whooooo HOOOOOOOO!

4th of July: Picnic is at 4:00. Please come at 3:30 if you want to start playing some games...Euchre, Texas Holdem....James I aim to take a little of your money and you too Aunt Denise! I need to win some money because I need to buy more spic and span.

Housecleaning: I DID SOME! I had a bucket and some spic and span. My husband asks "What are you doing with bucket and spic and span" I answer in a some what offended voice, "I am making cleaning water". My shocked husband says, "To clean what?" I say, "Does it matter? I am cleaning something" The poor man, I think I shocked his system cause not only did I clean something but I cleaned the dirtest grossest something in our house...the laundry room...a/k/a dog area...a/k/a storage room AND we are not even having company. Well we are but the company coming is the same company that always comes and I NEVER clean house for them cause most of them are just as messy if not messier then I am. The week before when I cleaned he accused me of cleaning house because we had out of state company, but I tell you it was not true because where I cleaned they would never have even seen, unless I drug them into my bathroom and made them climb in the tub to look behind the blind at the window, that was by then cleaned.

Well must go for now time to improve my brain by reading a training manual for work.
Pictures to follow soon.

EVERYONE DO THE BROKEN KNEE SHUFFLE

2008-05-29T21:34:00.002-04:00

I am back on the road again. At a shuffle but I am out on the road. Last week I put in a 2 and a 2 1/2 mile walk/run. Walk a minute/Run a minute. I felt every single piece of junk food I have stuffed down my throat over the past 5 weeks (you know healing the knee comfort food...cookies, icecream, gummy bears, more cookies, more cookies...)As I ran my belly shook and shimmied all over the place. My butt cheeks were bouncing around like out of control super balls. (How in the world do things become so loose in 5 weeks?)My lungs would not inflate. My brain was screaming for coffee. My knee was aching and would only consent to partially bending and my calf was sending shooting pains up thru my skull. All in all I was miserable every minute..in a good kinda way.
Todays 3 1/2 mile was much better. I plodded more and walked much less. My lungs began to slightly remember that they are suppose to inflate. My knee was slightly more cooperative. However, my calf was not so willing to cave to my will and kept sending twinges of pain to my brain, which in turn sent my brain into a hysterical whining fit for coffee and a big apple bagle with veggie light cream cheese (okay 5 bagals)(okay okay I lie cookies it wanted cookies lots and lots of cookies...with coffee). On a scale of 1-10 the enjoyablity factor for this morning was a solid 4 unlike last week when the average enjoyablity of my two runs was a solid -100.

Wanted: Patient Person that does not care about speed or style to accompany one recovering plodder on recovery plods. Must be willing to walk when the screams of pain become loud enough to wake the dead. Will need to have cash and/or debit card for emergency coffee situations. Must have the ablity to decipher grunts, tolerate excessive amounts of whining, appear interested by random chatter, and to warn of approaching traffic. Experience in turning green traffic lights red is preferred. Please apply in person at the Y weight room ask for Teacup...Teacup is an equal opportunity employer...Paid at the end of each plod in Gratitude.

Physician Heal Thyself

2008-05-22T17:45:00.001-04:00

Is there a Doctor in the House?
As you know, the poor little piggy that went wee wee wee all the way home was terribly wounded during my pathetic attempt to complete the Indianapolis Mini (see picture previous post). Instead of improving it became more and more hideously swollen. It eventually looked like an unborn alien encased in it's embryonic sac. I could barely walk on it. I could not even wear my office shoes. Just a light touch would send waves of pain thru my foot. Now a normal rational woman would have called her physican to make an appointment to have it checked out or at the very least gone to the Urgent Care Center to have her toe inspected and to get a qualified medical opinion and perhaps an antibiotic but not me. For I am....the QUEEN OF THE GOOGLE MEDICAL SEARCH. For years now I have self diagnosed myself and managed to avoid the doctor (in part my avoidance of the doctor use to because I did not want to get weighed...really why do you need to get weighed to have your cough checked out?) But as I stared at my hideously deformed piggy I thought why should I pay a $20 co pay when I have google and a first aid kit? So after much inner debating, I looked at my husband and said, "I think my piggy needs surgery". I then proceed to hobble around to collect my surgical tools...sewing needle..could not find one...substituted a safety pin, tweezers, liquid bandage and scissors. Unfortunatly I did not have a pair of scissors in my first aid kit. However, my husband had a nice little pair on his desk. I hobble back to the bedroom and hop on the surgical table a/k/a my bed. My husband looks horrified, no he was not horrified because I was going to do self surgery but because his desk scissors were part of my surgical equipment. He says, "You're not using my desk scissors to do that are you? Use your own scissors." I inform him that my scissors are the kitchen shears. The ones I use to cook with. He then does not say another word about me using his desk scissors. (Though I do note that he has not returned them to his desk but they continue to lay on the nightstand..I think they are my scissors now.)I will not give you all the gory details but will summarize by saying "Jab,cut, squeeze, cut, Jab, squeeze, pry off nail, and a liberal spraying of liquid bandage and multiple shrieks of pain" The next morning I could put my shoe on and walk. Total Cost $0.00. Piggy looks just fine now..just a little naked without the nail.

The Crash of 2008:
You might have noticed I have been uncharacterically quiet for the last few weeks. That is because my BABY crashed. She gave me warning but I paid her no heed. She was slow. She would freeze up. She would do take her sweet time when I clicked. She tried to tell me...she warned me...and then it happened...I clicked...she refused to answer. I begged. I pleaded. I offered her a new virus checker. I offered her a fancy new keyboard. But to no avail. She was offended, likely because I have been having laptop lust. She did take pity on me enough to let me grab my picture folders and my music folder. Thanks to Kendra, Lucas and James and Tasha I have a nice external hard drive to back up to ( a Mother's day gift). So I took the big plunge..after trying all else...I...GASP OF HORROR....reformatted my hard drive and returned my computer to factory settings...ahhh the agony... so now we are up and running... I will never take her for granted again. I will tell her I love her every day and never look at a laptop again.

The Frankenstein Shuffle:
I have been recovering from my injury and have been reduced to do a Frankenstein shuffle. It is getting better and I am finally getting some bend in my knee but I still look quite odd and am VERY VERY slow. Sunday I took my first walk/run accompanied by my husband. My knee would slightly bend. I was getting calf pain, though I do believe that to be just tight muscles. I would sort of bounce walk/run. I could feel every day of non running. My body felt like it weighed a million pounds. My legs would not cooperate. My lungs were screaming that they hated me and threatened to shut down on me. My calf, since it could not be heard over the sound of my screaming lungs, sent shooting pains up to my skull as a gentle reminder that it had told me it DID NOT WANT TO RUN. Of course my mind tells them all to shut up and that it is in control and it forced the rebelling body parts to finish the two miles. All must have been forgiven for I had no pain the following day. So now I have returned to my regular scheduled workouts with a modified running schedule meant for leg rehab.
This weeks workout: Sunday: 2 miles walk/run, 3 mile bike and 1.79 walk to church. Monday: 3 mile bike ride to Y and back and power hour, Tuesday: 3 mile bike to Y and back, 2 1/2 mile walk/run (of which I had slightly more knee bend and less calf pain) and 6.79 evening bike ride. Wed: Swimming and 1.79 walk to church. I note that I have no lifting in there because I usually lift on my lunch break but work has been very hectic and so lunch time has gone bye bye for awhile.

NO RUNNING=REALLY MISSING MY CLIMATE RUN FRIENDS

Quotes: "I thought you said he was good?" yelled by Kendra over the shrieking sounds of Adam when we were yard saling.

"Were you in my doughnuts?" Spoken by Jerry in a VERY suspicious voice while counting his doughnuts.

UPDATES: G-Ma is moving into a new apartment because she is tired of the old drunk man upstairs calling her "Momma"
Adam found falling and getting a fat lip will score a freezer pop.
G-Ma's doctor, much to her disgust, told her the weather was getting good so she could get some walks in. Soon to be Mother Tasha now has a bump! Kendra is having oral surgery on Friday and Adam will be hanging with Grandma and Grandpa.

2008-05-06T18:16:00.008-04:00

Adam is a well rounded man...up on current events and can cook too!

Day of Sadness

2008-05-04T20:36:00.005-04:00

I have not posted my woes on this blog but three weeks before the Mini I sprained my medial ligament and had some severe muscle problems with my calf and hamstring. I have had back of the knee tightness for several weeks prior to my medial ligament strain but it was nothing I could not train thru. It would hurt really bad but once I started running then it would untighten and then when I was done running it would tighten back up to the point I could not bend my knee...well after a while it would not untighten even when running and boy did it hurt! Well one morning I was doing sprints on the treadmill, well Kim sprints...which is slow running for my friends but fast running for me...and all of a sudden this pain went zipping down my leg from my thigh to my shin...ouch I let out a BIG YELP...and listed off to the side of the treadmill...my yelp was so loud that Jay on the treadmill stopped running to check on me... not much stops him when he is hitting his stride so I must have yelled pretty loud...within a 1/2 hour I could not even put weight on it..panicked I called my doctor...went to see him...he said medial ligament strain...and fyi I have found that medial ligaments are NOT fast to forgive you for injuring them. At any rate I was lucky to get to run/walk the first part of the mini and walk the last miles from around 8 1/2-9 mile to 13.1. My medial ligament started to sting badly and that is when I started only walking...I moved my band around in hopes of holding that ligment enough to continue walk/run but no go...I moved it to the lower part of my thigh...then to below the kneecap...the to the kneecap...stopped took it off...it hurt...put it back on the started the whole moving it around thing again. Considering that I was injured I was not displeased that my 5 mile time was 1.08 cause usually it takes me an hour to do 5 anyway so consider that I was doing run 50 steps walk 50 steps I figured that was okay..but the rest of the time was in the toilet...oh well. I did find that when you run with your primary weight on one leg that at least one part of your body will turn bloody red to pay you back (see photos) and walking kills your hip flexors far more then running. I had a lot of compliments on my shirt which read "Temporarily Out Of Order" and then I had a knee with a lightning bolt coming out of it. I figured I might as well have fun with my broken body. The first file miles actually felt really good and at one point I thought I was healed..but alas I was not...(considering that on Thursday morning when I tried to run and my knee would not even bend I was giddy with joy when it bent on Saturday!)at around 8 1/2 my medial ligament says to me "That's enough you stupid woman. Walk or I shall make you cry like a baby". By the time I got to mile 12...my knee was hurting enough that I has hobbling and my toe on my foot was hurting really bad and felt like it was on fire. I did not think I was going to make it...I thought I was going to quit and then I remembered all the hard work I had been doing to even be able to go to the mini at all. And then I remembered all the hard work my friends had been doing to get me ready for the mini (Thank you Bob and Jillian)and I decided I was crossing that line even if I had to hop, crawl or hobble across...and hobble I did...I fastly hobbled. As soon as I got across one of the medical guys asked if I was okay..I said yep my knee and foot just hurt. I went to the rest area where I promptly sat down on the ground and announced I needed ice for my ligament...went got ice...was icing and thought OH MY TOE IS KILLING ME...I took off my shoe expecting to see a little blister and what met my eyes was GIANT BLOODY TOE...the man sitting next to me saw it and said.."you better have the medical tent look at that"....I hobbled over to the medical tent asked him if it was the grossest blister he had seen...much to my disappointment he said "No not anywhere even close" Dang! I asked him if my toe was going to fall off...he assured me it would not...I hobbled back to my tree put the ice on my ligament again and then put an ice bag on my toe and then promptly felt dizzy and thought I was gonna die...so I laid back on the ground...see picture. I look up to see my dearly beloved husband and son hovering over the top of my near dead body with their cameras snapping pictures...I did not care because I got the cool pictures you see posted. I should have some really cool pictures from my funeral when I actually die...probably my eyes bugged out and a cookie hanging out of mouth when I cross from the land of the living... Aside from my blood filled toe and my ligament screaming that it hates my guts I had a great time. We had a fabulous dinner with good food and even better company. Karen and I met at the pool on Sunday and soaked in the whirlpool till we were wrinkled as 90 year olds. I feel pretty good today...toe looks worse then it feels and the back of my knee is no more stiff then before I did the mini and the ligament has stopped screaming at me because I have been making it happy with rest, muffins and whirlpool. Also all I have determined that all the world's problems can be solved in a whirlpool..I am going to write President Bush and tell him that all he needs to do is get all the world leaders in a whirlpool and all issues would be resolved from religous strife to gas prices..I LOVE WHIRLPOOLS.

Day 2...Poor Little Piggy

2008-05-04T20:31:00.004-04:00

Icing Away the Pain

2008-05-04T20:28:00.001-04:00

Ice on the medial ligament and ice on the piggy:

This Little Piggy Went Ouch Ouch Ouch all the Way Home

2008-05-04T19:42:00.003-04:00

What Happens when you overcompensate with your good leg:

Hang on Tight cause the Merry Go Round Aint Stopping

2008-04-25T17:47:00.004-04:00

Part I

Weekend of March 21: Road trip to Columbus/Westerville with Aunt Denise, Abby, myself and Tyson. We checked out the Giant Indoor Waterpark, where I actually went down the water slide not once but like 9 times...each time involving climbing about 6 flights of stairs..oh my aching quads. Tyson found that if he tipped sideways when coming out of the chute that he could tip Grandma out of the tube and send her underwater,much to his enjoyment. We also made a side trip to our old town Westerville where we got to see old friends though we did not get enough visit time to catch up on all the years that have passed. We also went to the COSI where Ty got to ride a unicycle while suspended several floors up. At first I refused to let him do it but he kept pleading so finally I said we have to ask your Mom...he replied, "You don't need to call her she will say it is okay" I told him if he did not think his Mom would care there should be no problem with asking her. I called her and asked if Ty could ride the unicycle on the wire. She said fine. I gave him the thumbs up...and then I thought"Gee did I mention it was like 2 floors up and across the lobby?" So I called her back to advise her of this minor detail. His Mom said if he isn't scared let him do it. So Ty got in line and by golly he did it...despite my thinking he would back out once he actually got on the unicycle. Overall fun trip despite a few bumps that you would expect when traveling with two children.

One of the Bumps as Mentioned Above: Did I mention that not only did Me, Denise, Abby and Ty go but we also traveled with Sally, Diego and Alisa? Sally, Diego and Alisa are Abby's friends...friends that ONLY Abby can see, however that did not stop Tyson from saying he was going to hit Diego in the eye. Abby's face turned bright red and she balled up her fists, screwed her eyes shut and ground out the words..."TYSON I AM GOING TO KILL YOU, DON'T HIT DIEGO" Being the good Aunt that I am I told Tyson to "LEAVE DIEGO ALONE!!" Aunt Denise glares at me and says, "Good job just encourage her with her friends" I laugh and tell Abby, "I really like Sally. She is a good travler. Next time maybe your mom and I will take a trip with just Sally" Abby replies, "Sally will like that" I LOVE MY NIECE!

Kim's Perspectives on Saturdays

2008-03-26T17:59:00.002-04:00

Saturday run March 15, 2008: 8.33 miles of urban funness.
Attendees: (In no particular order of running ability) Kim, Jill,
Kris, Jeff and Cory.

First off I must comment, how can a run not be good when it starts
with the following conversation:

"Did you wipe?" (only a teacher would ask this question)
"Yes I wiped. I wiped and I wiggled"

"Did you forget your sports bra?" (again a teacher question)
"No. I got two on"

And then off they go, down the road,over the bridge thru the ghetto,
side by side (for those of you who are not familar this is is in the
same writing style as the book "The Poky Litte Puppy" which is my all
time favorite children's book)

Kris said to Jeff and Kim, as she plodded beside them, her foot hurt
and she would be taking it easy....then Jeff and Kim did not hear from
her again till 3.22 mile where she was waiting at the corner for
everyone to meet up. Don't know what kinda of Coffee Kris is drinking
before the runs but please please please get some to Kim asap. The
improvement she has made is baffling..I am almost sure it is that
coffee that TUM brought back from his trip.

Discovered that we have a dog named "Dave" in this town. Who names a
dog "Dave"?

If you pray hard enough. Your prayers will be answered and traffic
will hold you up at a light long enough to catch your breath.

Bob and Jillian were probably shepards in a previous life as they were
always rounding up the lost lambs.

Jeff loves real estate with a particular interest in the roofs of real
estate.

Kris was trying to torment Kim as she took a route that included
passing by a VP that had coffee brewing, a pizza place (lucky for her
it was closed) and McDonalds. I wonder if McDonalds would care if they
had to swipe a debit card pulled out of a sweaty sports garment? Can
you put coffee in those hydration packs?

Hedgewood Hill...Kim had great trepidation turning onto Hedgewood as
last year when training she never never not once made it up Hedgewood
without stopping and in fact had to mostly walk up Hedgewood. This
year she made it! Why you ask ? Did she get beat and whipped up the
hill with Kris's belt and Bob's big stick? No! Was she lured up the
hill with the promises of baked goods? No! It was because she was
distracted by Bob with talk of fish oil and weight loss. Despite the
hill Kim was able to utter if it would help her to lose weight not
only would she eat fish oil but she would eat the head off of a fish.
Bob told her that would not be necessary but she should try the fish
oil capsules. Other topics of interest while going up the hill:
cookies..in particular girl scout cookies.

Jillian did not do her required task of keeping Bob occupied so that
Kim could walk up Hedgewood Hill instead of plod up it. Kim is glad
that Jillian did not do this, as now she can say "I made it up the
giant hill!" Okay it is not really a GIANT hill but it certainly is an
area that has an increasing elevation level.

It is funny Bob and Jillian are like a well oiled training machine.
We get to a hill, get up just a wee bit and then without a word they
both circle around at the same time to bring the back of the packers
up the hill.

Our 8.33 miles was a just a warm up for Jillian. She went out for more
when we got back. I think she is secretly the bionic woman.

Kim had a theory that if they fell back far enough. The shepards would
not come back for them and they could walk. That proved not to be
true. Evidently shepards are viligent about watching their flock and
shepards will let the lambs wander but only so far.

Jillian agains makes Jeff and Kim yell whoo hoo. She makes Kim repeat
whoo hooo three times before she is satified there was enough gusto in
it. Jeff is compliant and says whooo hooo in a voice loud enough the
first time to please Jillian.

Most uttered word by group:"CAR"

Kim's most frequent thought: "Where are all my friends I use to hang
out with"

Kim's thoughts on the thoughts of others:

Kris: "I gotta hurry and get back to the Y for my next cup of coffee
and I not giving any to Kim"

Jillian: "Yeah were almost back to the Y. I am gonna see if can make
Kim and Jeff black out by making them yell whooo hooo"

Bob: "I came back from Indy for this?"

Jeff: "Kim better not be praying"
***********************************

Saturday, March 22, 2007 9.2 miles for the faint of heart and 10 miles
for those of the hard core persuasion.

Attendees:
Hard Core Parties: Trainer Bob, Trainer Jillian, and Fleet Footed Jeff
Faint of Heart: Kim

Jeff was in fine form and must have ate his Wheaties AND had several
cups of Kris's magic coffee.

The route was to include more hills. Trainer Bob says Hedgewood twice
and 18th Street once. Kim gasps and says, "I have to cook dinner for
15 people on Saturday day AND have an Easter Egg Hunt I got to be able
to move" Trainer Jills says "That's crap you can take a nap when you
get home, Bob tell her that is crap" Kim, long trained in negotiations
from being the mother of teens, offers to do the hills the week after
she returns from her trip. Trainer Bob says "We will compromise and
do Hedgewood once and 18th Street once...this week" It was likely the
trainers day to switch Good Cop/Bad Cop profiles.

As mentioned above the agreement was to do Hedgewood once and 18th
street once. Kim was gleeful. Because you all know if you come uphill
it is very likely you will go downhill first. However, our town,
unique that it was laid out by drunkards, manages to make the downhill
of Hedgewood become a downhill, uphill, downhill, uphill and downhill.
Yes, that is correct uphills on our downhill portion. Of course
coming back up could it be uphill,downhill,uphill...absolutely
not...just uphill.

Traffic Lights: Somehow Bob and Jillian got in contact with the
Traffic department of our great city and arranged to have EVERY SINGLE
stoplight become green when we approached it.

Beating Stick: Trainer Bob finds his big stick (do Bob and Jillian
check out the route ahead of time and make sure there is a big stick
ready?). He nicely asks Kim,"Ok if you stop where do you wanna be
hit..the head, the back or the calves" Kim responds, "Probably my head
you will do the least damage"

18th Street Hill: Trainer Jillian withholds water from Kim. Trainer
Jillian says,"Give me your water bottle. You can have it back when you
get to the top of the hill. I don't want you to have any excuse to
stop." Kim makes it to the top of the hill does not need her water
and in fact does not want to be burdened with carrying the bottle of
water any more. Wonders if she does not mention it will Jillian lug it
all the way back to the Y? A ploy used by many children is to ask Mom
"to hold something for just a minute" and then they never come back to
get it because they don't want to carry it around...this is most often
seen at amusement parks and fairs. However, it will work quite nicely
for plodders and those that are trainers of plodders.

Hansel and Gretal: Was it Hansel and Gretal that left the trail of
breadcrumbs so they could find their way home? In this story a trail
of Jelly Beans was left. Kim was running and all of a sudden heard
"dink dink dink" Crap her Jelly Beans were rolling out of her pocket
and dropping on the sidewalk. If it had been been M&Ms she probably
would have stopped and picked them up off the ground but hey you can
get a bag of Jelly Beans for .25 on clearance now. Do you think that
Trainers Bob and Jillian would frown upon eating M&Ms during a run?
They have previously stated that no doughnuts are allowed during runs
but M&Ms have not been addressed yet.

Music Picks of the Week: Cher (If I could turn back time), Kid Rock
and Cheryl Crow (Picture) which Kim listened to like 25 times because
it is slow and she can plod and breath while listening to this song.
John Parr (Naughty Naughty) Def Lepard (Pour some sugar). Kim was
enjoying her music picks of the week untill her MP3 player died on
18th street. Jillian offers to sing for Kim but Kim knows what music
Jillian listens to and passes on that nice offer.

9th Street: Trainer Jillian says "Hey lets catch up with Trainer Bob
and Jeff by Logan" Kim grunts. By this time poor Kim could do nothing
more then grunt and moan. She moans and trainer Jillian must take that
for a yes because by the time they approach Logan they have caught up
with the guys but Kim is tired oh so tired and soon falls behind
again.

Oak Court: Kim is out of jelly beans. She has her water bottle back
again with its nasty 1/2 gatorade 1/2 water mixture. She takes a
drink. Has no desire or energy to lug her water bottle around. Sees a
huge open trash can. Throws it...completely misses it...does not
care...will not pick it up off the ground....their yard had trash in
it anyway...Kim is rude and litters when she is tired....

The end of the route appears. Jeff and Bob and Jillian want to finish
with an even 10. Kim does not care and would not have run an even 10
if there were 12 dozen boxes of girl scout cookies as a reward at the
end.

Jeff's Trash Talk: Jeff's feet were moving as fast as his mouth on
Saturday. He was running AND trash talking to the trainers. Boy is he
in trouble next Saturday when Kim is gone and unable to divert one
trainers attention. Rumor has it that next week he will be hit in the
head till he shuts up.....Its gonna be all about Jeff next week...poor
Jeff.

GUESS WHO IS GONNA BE A DADDY AND MOMMY

2008-03-12T19:48:00.003-04:00

JAMES AND TASHA! She will be going to the doctor next week so we will have a more specific due date!
This was a most HUGE surprise. James and Tasha came over, along with Kendra. They brought gifts for Jerry's birthday or so we thought. Now in the past people have bought us gifts to use with the grandkids so we thought nothing of it when Jerry opened up a package that had a sign that said "Baby on Board" we just thought it was because we have Adam in the car. Next Jerry opens up a gift and it is a book about grandparents. Again we are clueless. A picture frame comes out that says "Baby". Jerry and I are both looking around trying to decide which picture off the fridge we were gonna put in it. Yes we are still clueless. Then Jerry pulls out a little onsie. He looks confused. He says "This won't fit Adam". Tasha unzips her jacket. Jamie opens his...Tasha is wearing a tee shirt that says "Knocked Up" Jamie has a button that says "I did it". We stare at them and say nuh uh. I tell Jamie to quit messing with me and I continue munching on my dinner. This son has messed with me one to many times so now I believe NOTHING that he tells me. I stare at him. I stare at Tasha. She has tears in her eyes. I know she would not mess with me...We're gonna have another grandchild to love and adore! A little background...earlier that afternoon we had stopped by Jamie's house I went in to the kitchen and see prenatal vitamins on the counter. I call Jamie in and ask him "Is Tasha pregnant?" He grabs the vitamins and mutters "she better not be". He then looks at the label and he goes "Mom these are supplements. She is taking them because the have all the vitamins she needs in just one pill" Now this sounds plausible as I have known people that have done this. So when Tasha comes in I drag her in the kitchen and ask her about it (before she talked to Jamie). Somehow she comes up with the same story that Jamie gave me,"I am taking them because they have everything you need on one vitamin" I looked sad. I told her "too bad. I was kinda hoping. Oh well maybe later'
I am having shopping frenzy attacks. I can't wait to find out whether it is a pink or a blue. My poor visa card.

It's all fun and games till Kim Keels Over Dead

2008-03-12T18:15:00.002-04:00

Mini Training: Going quite well. Though I had to walk for a few moments during the Saturday 7.5 mile run. The week before was a Saturday 7.2 miles

Highlights of 7.2 mile run:

Jeff and Kim feel like they are going to die.

Kris finds a broken belt on the ground during the run and uses it like a whip to propel Kim forward. Kim was like a mule and disregarded the whip and continued to plod at your usual speed

Jillian ditched her cold snowy icy run to run on the beach...what was she thinking?

Bob was on his deathbed and was unable to run but somehow managed to muster up the strength to threaten to "follow us in his car if we slacked off"

Kris has burst of energy and in the last 1/2 miles says "Hey lets add some more distance on by running to the fire station istead of cutting through the school" Kim threatens to beat Kris to death with her ipod and strangle her with her headphones...the only thing that prevented this was that Kim is not fast enough to catch Kris.

Saturday 7.564 mile Highlights

First off Kudos to Kris for our awesome urban run! Truely I mean it! I am well known for my love of running thru the ghetto part of town so this route was particulary fun as we got to run thru the ghetto part of town AND run by the dump transfer station AND an old strip club that is now a Christian Coffee shop! Love it because then we have other stuff to look at!

Kim not only felt like she was going to die during this run and had at one point thought she was having an out of body experience. She saw lights.Bright Lights. Lights that seemed to beckon her forward. Fortunately for Kim it was not the lights of the great beyond but just the headlights of the sanitation truck rumbling past her.

Jillian tries to make Kim go WHOOO HOOOO in the last 1/2 mile. Kim said whooo hooo. Jillian says NO KIM! WHOOO HOOO!!!!!. Kim finally says WHOOOO HOOOO and then prompty feels faint from lack of oxygen...swears to herself that she is going WHOOOOO HOOOOO Jillian right up side her noggin but again we have the whole "Kim can't catch em" thing going on.

1/2 way thru the run Kris says, "Hey we only have like two more major turns"...like that is gonna really trick me into thinking the last half of the run is gonna be like a walk in the park.

QUOTE OF MONTH: Scenerio: Kim plodding...Jill slowing down to plod with Kim...Jill says "You know how people are always saying its about the journey and not the destination...well they have never run 7.564 miles" That ladies and gentlemen is the most true statement I have every heard!

My activities which no one really cares about but me:

The weekend before last. I had my little guy Adam on Friday night and then my big guy Ty and Carissa overnight Saturday. Friday night Adam goes to the store with Grandma and Grandpa to grocery shop...right now he thinks it is fun...in another year or so we will have to find another activity to do with him cause I think he will figure out the grocery shopping is really not fun. Saturday morning Adam and I went to the book sale at the library. Adam will not be going to any more book sales with Grandma unless we have the stroller. I tried to look at books. Adam tried to escape. I chased him, caught him, returned to the books and then we did the whole thing over and over again. He did sit during one whole story time in the youth room and he really liked it and listened most intently. That is definetly an activity we will be doing again! Saturday night when Ty and Carissa came over we had some pizza and then played some games. Tyson learned that his Grandma is a Connect 4 Champion and is also a champion Splat player. We watched a movie and so ended another fun night at Grandma and Grandpa's house.

Last weekend: Kendra and Lucas were remodeling their bathroom so we got to hang with Adam all weekend. Again for a "fun" friday night we went to Meijer. Adam must have thought it was lots of fun because when we went to leave he threw one major fit. The poor child was sobbing as if his little heart was broken...the trauma of leaving Meijers...who knew it would hurt so bad. I think I have addicted him to shopping because he did the very same thing the next day when we went to KMART complete with rolling around and thrashing on the ground so that Grandma found it near impossible to shove him into his coat. I finally managed to stuff him in his coat (now that I think back it was funny because his coat was on all cockeyed and his hat covered one whole eye and only half his head)Once I got him in the car seat then he simmered down..probably cause he thought I was gonna take him to another store! So now I gotta wean the child off shopping.

My 18 month old Grandson is a genius: Ty and I were trying to get the play station up and running. Ty messed with it. I messed with it. I finally told Ty I will fix it later. In toddles Adam. He sees us by the Play Station he comes over and hits a button on the VCR and waa laaa the Play Station comes on! He has also moved all the icons on my desktop and plays and listens to my answering machine messages. I think he is a technological genius. Finally he said Ma Maw! He says it LOUD. When we were in Walmart he kept yelling "MA MAW" even though I was only like a foot in front of him. He says "Pa Paw" but he says that in a sweet little voice but he ROARS "MA MAW"

Health:

I am back strictly on my diabetic diet. My lunch was very sad. Egg Beater omelet with fresh spinich and mushrooms and fat free cheese (fyi fat free cheese does not melt. It retains its same form no matter how hot you get it), along with the omelet I had 1/2 cup cottage cheese and some radishs. Just looking at my lunch made me want to cry and thrash around on the floor (similar to that of my grandson at KMART). My raisens in my oatmeal have gone bye bye and have been replaced with carb control no sugar added yogurt.A word of advise do not use this food combination it looked disgusting and tasted like vomit. I ate it anyway because that was the only breakfast food I had with me. Snack in the morning was a 100 calorie bag of fat free popcorn and afternoon snack was cauliflower. This better be enough to make me loose weight because my other option is to have surgery and have them remove all optional organs from my body.

My girlscouts cookies are gone. What was not consumed by me was donated (unwillingly) for our pastor's visit to our house. Now as long as I can avoid the evil girlscouts who are laying await for me at the stores I should be okay. As I have told you before girlscout are wily when it comes to peddling their fatness in a box. They hide in stores and then they POP out of NO WHERE and say "You wanna buy some cookies?" Of course they have the sweet little voices and the big eyes and the cute little sashes with badges. Before you know it you have pulled out $$$$ and have boxes of thin mints filling your arms. I swear to you I don't even remember pulling the money out of my purse...the next thing I know I am walking away with boxes of cookies. It's like mind control. Anyway I have a plan. I will cruise slowly by the front doors of the stores waving dollars out my car window. I know this will lure them out of hiding! Once they reveal themselves I will know the store is not safe for patronage and will get the heck out of dodge.

FYI: You cannot do a long training run by eating nothing but girlscout cookies the day before.

Starvation, Death Runs and other Miseries

2008-02-20T18:07:00.004-05:00

The Training is in full swing. Last Saturday was a nice 6.60 miles. It was so fun it did not even seem like 6.60 miles and I was quite surprised when I mapped it!

Highlights of the run:

Jill "You gonna let Kris beat you in"
Kim "Yep"

Cory chases Kim up the hill with a big stick.

Jill "You gonna give it all you got?"
Kris "I gave it all I got when I got outta bed"

Jill's sweat leaks thru her glove and crystalizes

Cory loves the giant hill....Jill loves the giant hill...Kris...silent
on the matter of the giant hill....Kim loudly complains about the
giant hill.

Kris runs the entire time despite her last run being in December (early)

Kim made it thru the entire route despite severals hills, one that I have dubbed, hill of pain and agony (hill of pain and agony is a stones throw away from puke mountain).

After Saturday run I took Sunday as a veg day and only moved off the couch long enough to attend church in afternoon and evening.

This week Training:
Monday: Power Hour in the a.m.
Tuesday: 3 miles of Kim Sprints (which means slow running for all my turbo friends)one minute on one minute off for 3 miles. Leg day in the afternoon for strength training.
Wed: 3 miles in the fluffy, cold, killing calves and quads snow. I found that it would be wise to wear higher socks as within 1 minute my socks had snow leaking down them. I thought for sure I was gonna die from the effort of trying to drag my big body thru the snow. Afternoon upper body strength training on lunch break.

Upcoming Training:
Thursday: 5 miles on the agenda with climate run group, Strength training lower body.
Friday: Power Hour...half heartedly...as I like to sorta rest in anticipation of the my long Saturday run...I know Jill.....
Saturday: 7 miles
Sunday: REST

Starvation:
I am hungry....the scales are down 6 pounds...I am hungry. I am desperate. I ate a cough drop for a dessert and a midnight snack the other day. They were honey lemon and cherry...neither tasted like pie. I have girl scout cookies and have not touched them. I wanted one really really bad...I had a cough drop... I will probably find out that cough drops are 100% fat and have a gazillion calories.

Other Miseries:

I am cold when I start running and within 10 minutes I am sweating up a storm. I can't wear any less clothes because it would look strange to see a middle aged chubby woman running thru a snow storm in nothing but Tshirt and shorts.

I am getting bored with my routes. I am going to have find a different starting spot for our runs. I think if I see 9th street or 18th street one more time I am going throw myself down on the road and sob.

The scales are going down but I still do not look like Shakira...will it ever happen?

Now on to family news:

Youngest grandson can now say "Pa Paw". Note he does not say "Grandma" despite that I am the one that feeds him, changes him, and takes a nap with him.

Eldest Grandson: Is in a cast of sorts...broke cartiledge (that will eventually be bone). Did this by doing forbidden flipping in the living room.

Only Granddaughter: Has become even MORE beautiful if that is possible! I think potty training is on the horizon.

Little Peanut a/k/a Julianna a/k/a Great Niece: Cute as a button, still is in the only sleeping, eating and pooping stage of her life but hey so is the slug...hahahahahahahah just kidding slug..we know you sleep, eat, poop and play scrabble on the computer.

Little Peanut's mother a/k/a Amanda: She is a nursing Mom...evidently not nursing long enough..baby wants to eat all the time...Mother of Little Peanut's Mother says "You have to let her nurse longer each time...you are not a snack bar."

Amber: Went to the "All fired up Pottery" shop with Aunt Kim. Aunt Kim paints like a monkey. Amber is creative!

Abby: Insist Valentine's days has indeed not passed as Aunt Kim did not do a valentine craft with her. Don't worry Abby I got a craft for us to do! I will find time to pick you up soon.

Eldest Son: Is suppose to go to lunch with his mother.....She thinks she has been ditched. Surely he has not forgotten his awesome amazing terrific loving mother?

Middle Son: Has lost LOTS of weight and is looking really really good...I think the mini may be in the 2009 future.

Only Daughter: Is currently going stir crazy from being in the house. Perhaps she should take up training for the 2009 mini with middle son so that mother, son and daughter can have a major bonding experience.

Husband: Wife is grumpy and mean on account of starvation and mini training. He endures silently. Fun date day the other day....Wife beat husband at bowling. Not once but twice. Husband says it is because he wasn't concentrating on score but rather his form and his speed. Wife says HOG WASH! Wife challenges him to a rematch.

I will be working on my photos..look for updates within the next two weeks for photos.

Upcoming Events:
Jerry's Birthday
Tyson's Birthday

You Know It's Gonna Be a Fun Run When....

2008-02-06T19:38:00.000-05:00

1) You are acoompanied by Tom Slick and Tail Light
2) It is rainy, windy, dark and cold
3) You have to jump over giant ponds of water
and finally.......

4)YOU KNOW ITS A FUN RUN WHEN YOU HAVE TO PULL TAIL LIGHT OUT OF THE
FENCE SHE GOT STUCK ON!

The Tale of Tail Light

Teacup and Tom Slick were quite happily plodding along...indifferent
to the pools of water they were plodding through. Splash splash squish
squish...Teacup does not care because she is moving and plodding
steadily and nothing will break her tempo. Tom Slick does not care
because...well.... macho men just don't care if their running shoes
get muddy and wet. However, Tail Light DOES care because she does not
like to get her pretty running shoes dirty and she does not like wet
feet...Tail Light lands solidly in the pond of water and as graceful
as a doe leaps into the air toward a fence, where her plan was to, and
this probably was not carefully thought out, cling to the fence to
avoid the water. ( I don't know what her plan was for after the fence
clinging...perhaps she thought Teacup or Tom Slick would piggy back
her through the pond?) Somehow during this leaping and clinging to the
fence event she became attached to the fence. She says "Help help I
am stuck" Tom Slick says, "To bad see you back at the Y". Teacup
doubles over in laughter. Tom Slick has an attack of pity (which I
might add is rare as a Blue Moon) and tries to unattach Tail Light
from the fence. Teacup stands in the pond of water and sort of kicks
at the fence in a half hearted attempt to free her friend (I think
Teacup might have had a teeney weeny bit of pleasure from watching her
friend be stuck to a fence in the rain). Hurrah at last Tail Light has
been freed! She states that her running shoes are now tight because
the fence caused her shoelaces to form a death knot in her shoe. Tail
Light despite the death knot in her shoes makes it back to the Y. I do
note that she did not go in to lift or do any other additional
exercise...she just got in her car and fled...oops I mean drove home.
So ends the tale of tail light.

UPDATES: I am signed up for the Mini...thanks to a friend that needed to get out of it...I am now transferred in. I did this under peer presssure (oh and threats)....Peer Pressure...its not just for Teens....and the training commences.

Personal Training: My personal trainer has kicked by booty...and it is very very sore...3 sets of 15 for leg extension and hamstring curls, Leg Press 190 pounds for first set of 15, 230 pounds for second set of 15, 280 for third set of 15..intermingled with 3 sets of stiff legged Dead Lift,intermingled with lots of lunges to the calf raise machine and three sets of calf raises. I was sweating like a pig when I was done. My booty is sore sore sore but not so sore that I could not do my 3.45 and 3.25 miles in the last two days. Upper body not so bad as I am pretty strong. But the Ab work, well I felt like my head was going to explode from the effort. I am throwing myself whole heartedly into traingin for the MINI!

An Afternoon Mishap or How Kim Lost Her Pants

2008-01-28T19:31:00.000-05:00

I am a proud YMCA member and will remain one and will still faithfully attend my morning workouts because I love my Y friends tremendously and the thought of never seeing them...well that just ain't gonna happen. However, when the gentlemen came from City Fit Health Club to do a presentation I fell hard.....my gosh a gym right across the street from my office...oh the fun it will be going on my lunch break to do a little lifting or walk on the treadmill (yeah yeah I know I complain about the treadmill all the time) or even if I so desire, which I do not, tanning. The thought of lifting on my lunch break was quite enticing and with added lure of getting a corporate rate..well...this girl she signed on the dotted line. So off I go today on my lunch break, giddy at the thought of getting a lift in. I already had my gym shorts on under my dress slacks ( some pants I can't do that with because they are full of Kim, but these are baggy so I can do this). Had my athletic socks on underneath my trousers socks (this all in an effort to save the "dressing time")Before I went over there I slipped into my hog jog shirt (because you know every chubby woman should have tee shirt with a giant hog on the front) and scurried over to the gym. The desk offered me a towel and a key for the locker of which I took the towel and declined the key with an arrogant wave of my hand. I run into the locker room, ripped off my dress slacks (so quick it would have made wonderwoman jealous) and ta da I am ready for the gym. Now because I did not want to mess with unlocking and opening a locker I thought I will just toss my dress slacks on top of the lockers. I gave a cocky little toss and up up up go my slacks to hit the side of the wall and slither down the gaping hole that drops dead down to the ground from the top of the 6 foot + locker... a gaping hole, a black abyss of which there is no entry...a gaping hole in which my pants can never be retreived. I said a few words (which I then had to promptly ask forgiveness for) and then called my husband to ask him to please bring me a pair of pants so I can go back to the office. My co-workers thought this story to be hilarious and when I left work to go to my fitness evaluation tonight(of which more details follow below) I was reminded to A) don't lose track of my pants, B) Perhaps I should keep my pants on so I don't lose them or C)Maybe I should take an extra pair of pants just in case I lose another pair. sigh this could only happen to me....

Fitness Evaluation: 26% body fat which I was informed was not too bad considering my history. I am getting a new lifting program which is to reduce my body fat by 4% and my weight by 15 pounds in the next 12 weeks. It is ironic because a thin woman I know that goes to City Fit has 30% body fat. Of course he said my worse area was my stomach...gee I never would have guessed that. Along with the lifting program I was advised that I could not eat like a pig on Saturday. However, I could have Sunday as a "little cheat day" does little mean I can eat a pie or a piece of pie...or just smell the pie...hmmm I guess I will find out at my next meeting which is next Monday evening.

Questions I Ponder.....
1) Why some days can I run 3 miles and feel awesome and then some days I feel like I am being tortured to death and my heart is in emminent peril of exploding?
2) Why do other people get to eat whatever the heck they want ALL the time and I can't even eat one cookie (okay 12 cookies) without it showing up on my gut in 20 minutes or less?
3)Why do they try to trick me into thinking the Key Lime Pie yogurt will really taste like Key Lime Pie...one of these days the yogurt people or going to push some chubby middle aged woman over the edge with their deceptive advertising.
4) Why will Fanny May not stop emailing me bogos when she knows I am fat?
5)Is it normal to have Marco's Pizza on speed dial and to have Dominoes Pizza and Pizza King's telephone number memorized?
6)Am I a mean Grandma to hide the gold fish crackers from my grandson so I don't have to share them?
7)Will my new trainer be able to make me look like Shakira? If he doesn't I swear to you he is fired....
8)Should I dump my current friends and go to the nursing home to find new ones so I can be "The Fast One"?
9) Am I the only one in Power Hour that feels like Julie is trying to kill us?
10) Why am I so easily influenced by peer pressure? Yes mom I probably would jump off the bridge if Jill did.

Okay the ramblings of Kim has now drawn to a close. It is now time for me to go to bed and dream sweet dreams of my future 1/2 marathon(of which is at this time is undetermined but I am looking for one in October)as I visulize myself cheerfully plodding the last two miles without an ounce of pain or agony, a huge smile on my face as I run...no lope gracefully thru the last two mile...okay I told you it was a dream....

Do I get a pin?

2008-01-09T19:32:00.001-05:00

I am three days and cookie free...will I get a pin like they do in AA when they are sober 30 days?

This Sums it all Up

2008-01-09T19:14:00.000-05:00

I snagged this off Runner Susan's blog and it totally sums up mine and my son's life long love affair with bacon...this is the same boy that ate so much bacon at the Shoney's Breakfast Buffet that he went home and promptly threw up.

Running???what is that???

2007-12-30T17:42:00.000-05:00

Okay confession from a slacker. I have only run 5 miles the whole week. I am gonna pay for that come tomorrow morning when I meet up with the climate run team and I have to do 5 IN ONE RUN. Starting tomorrow it is back on the wagon...I mean road....in my new aasics...which I adore.....The cookies have settled in around my waist, the chocolate has found my thighs and everything else has just settled in random spots on my body. I think Santa would find me sexy right now. Let me introduce myself: My name is Kim and I am a Cookieaholic. It started with just one snickerdoodle (which from what my mother tells me was her favorite cookie to bake when I was young) just one snickerdoodle at such a young age and the addiction began. What is one cookie when you are so young...one homebaked cookie made with love.....I will tell you that fatness is started on a road paved with good intentions and motherly love....now I can't stop....I will be out of commission for awhile while I am going thru cookie detox (yet again)...I cannot be approached with anything resembling a cookie or I could go into complete cookie shock...or I may go mad and attack the holder of the cookie, I will be unable to clean house as I may come across a stray christmas cookie left behind by some silly silly person that is indifferent to cookies, I will not be able to go to the Mall unless they barricade the cookie shop, I will not be attending church services as they may serve communion and the wafers appear cookie like, there will be no stop at the coffee shop as they try to entice me with their trays of cookies next to the coffee dispensers, I will have to have grocery delivery as I don't think I can make it down the baking aisle at the grocery without throwing in the 50% off bags of chocolate chips (which will then be turned into cookies)...mine will be a sad lonely existence as I battle my demon....I guess I better start running.....Don't take it personally if I snarl at you....its not really me...its my addiction...by March I should be okay......

On Holiday Weight Gain/Cookie Consumption

2007-12-30T17:01:00.000-05:00

Alice In Wonderland: "Oh, I'm not particular as to size, only one doesn't like changing so often, you know."

And that my friends sums up Holiday weight gain.

I HAVE MY VERY OWN STALKER

2007-12-30T14:15:00.000-05:00

Yes, I know it is hard to believe. Chubby wife, mother of three, grandmother of three, the plodding Athena warrior goddess has her very own stalker. I have been stalked since October. Three whole months of constant stalking. Is it getting to me...yes...am I near the breaking point...yes....do I know my stalker....yes.....it is

Fanny May. She sends me flyers, she sends me emails on a daily basis and NOW she has stepped up her assault. She has Emailed me BOGOs! Ack Fanny May Buy One Get One Free. She is the devil underneath a coating of smooth chocolatey goodness. I am at the point where I am contemplating changing my email address and moving out of town but I guess there is no point...she will find me....she always finds me......

My new Theme Song!

2007-12-22T13:57:00.000-05:00

I found a song that is even better then "Fat Bottomed Girls" I love this song! It is my new I love myself anthem! You might have to cut and paste it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcRiXOONqf0

On a Snowy Snowy Day

2007-12-22T08:56:00.000-05:00

Exactly 26 years ago I was giving birth to my second son. It was snowy. It was cold. The only vehicle we had was the company van my husband was driving that had one seat for the driver and the passenger a/k/a in labor woman a/k/a me had to sit on a kitchen chair. The roads were slick and the van fishtailed all over the road, I am still to this day not sure if the fishtailing was accidental or just caused by an overenthusiastic snow driver a/k/a husband of woman in labor. All I know was I was in labor and clutching the sides of the kitchen chair and wondering if we would make it to the hospital (which was really only about 5 minutes away but seemed like 5 hours). My poor husband it took all his begging and pleading and telephone calls to my mother to get me to go to the hospital. I was adamant I was NOT going to the hospital. I hated the hospitals. I hated the doctors. I knew this was gonna hurt and for some reason in my demented mind I thought if I did not go to the hospital I could bypass the whole "hurts really bad labor". I told my husband I was not leaving. I was not going to the hospital ever! He was frantic. He pleaded with me to please get in the van and go the hospital. I clung to the bathroom door declaring quite loudly, "I am NOT GOING TO THE HOSPITAL" He tried to reason with me. I was unreasonable. Finally, under the pressure of my husband and the threats of my mother I was coerced into the van. I made it to the hospital. I was right it did hurt. However, the pain was well worth it because Jamie came into the world. Now of course you all know him as James but he was Jamie to me from the day he was born and will be Jamie to me until the day I die. He was dark. He was hairy. He had a cleft in his chin just like his Grandpa Chuck. Without a doubt Groleau blood was in him. Jamie was colicky. Aunt Denise was about the only one who could calm him down. He spent the first year of his life in a baby swing in hopes of lulling him into a sweet happy mood. To this day I have a big bulging bicep from the constant winding up of the baby swing. In those days we did not have auto swings. It was crank, crank, crank, baby happy, swing stop, baby unhappy, crank, crank, crank, baby happy and so on and so on.

1) Had the biggest brownest eyes you have ever seen in your life! He would look at me with tear filled eyes and I would feel like the biggest meaniest baddest mommy in the world for scolding him.
2) I would come downstairs in the middle of the night and he would be perched on the kitchen countertop with a spoon in the peanut butter having himself a little midnight snack. He has had a lifelong love affair with peanut butter.
3)Colored monsters on my bedroom wall with red lipstick (which by the way does not get repaired by merely painting over it). He comes running out of my room, lipstick on his hand saying "I'm in big touble now" (yes he did not put an R in trouble). Grandpa Groleau was there that day and that became his favorite story to tell. And yes Jamie was in "Big Touble" but see number one for why he did not get spanked.
4) Had his own sense of style at a young age he became a dandy dresser. A trait he still has to this day. Jamie, as an adult, often says "Man I look good" His style was to wear three to four shirts each one progressively shorter over a pair of slightly baggy jeans. (not real baggy, just little boy skinny baggy). His top shirt of choice for several years were his football jerseys.
5)Liked to dig in the dirt and bury GI Joes and Matchbox Cars. Several years ago I unearthed a matchbox car. It brought tears to my eyes.
6)Always had dirty knees. I swear the dirt was permanently embedded. I should probably check out his knees today. I bet they are still dirty.
7) One day he came running into the house. He so very excited. He had a present for Mom. One of the neighbors was throwing out a Food Shredder (an electric one). He saw it and brought it home to me. I still have it to this day and cannot bear the thought of getting rid of it (and it still works and I use it at least once a year).
8) Jamie was a laughing happy kid. I got called to the school because he was being the class clown. He was not laughing when I got to school. He as unhappy. He told the principal "She's gonna kill me" The principal was talking to me while Jamie was sitting outside the principal office's by the secretary. He was laughing when he was telling me Jamie was begging him not to call me because "she would kill me" He said, "Are you gonna kill him" I laughed and said "Nah but he's gonna get a pretty good spanking". See number one as to why he did not get spanked. Jamie was advised not to be the class clown anymore. He never really quit but he did not ever cross the getting his parents called to school line.
9) Was always winning stuff. Won a bike, won autographed footballs...just would win stuff...
Opened up the paper one day and there was my son's picture in the Journal and Courier. A picture of him and his little friend sitting on the monkey bars looking out with telescopes.
10) Now this story he had a partner in crime, his older brother, I got up one morning to find one totally white Jamie...all white...just big brown eyes peering out of a powdered covered face. Every white powdery substance in my canisters had been emptied out onto my kitchen floor. He was probably 2 1/2 at the time of the incident. Flour, baking soda, salt EVERYWHERE. In the cracks of the floor and flourery footsteps through out the house. Little white powdery boy got dumped unceremoniously into the bath tub. Mean old Mommy did not care that powdery little boy was not at all happy about being dropped into a bathtub. Mean old Mommy disregarded the shrieks of unhappiness as he had cup after cup of water poured over his head. (Which actually made the flour even more difficult to get out as it "gummed up")

Oh bonus story: He cut the head off my chicken.

As with all my children I have so many stories I could write for hours and hours. Jamie was a good boy and he is a good man. His father says I must stop referring to him as Jamie. I do call him James but in my mind he is Jamie. He has a heart that is full of compassion though he tries his very best to cover it up! He still has the big brown eyes and the cute mischievous smile. You can always count on him if you need him! We love you Jamie and are very proud of you...oops I mean we love you James and are very proud of you.

Love Mean Old Mommy

Sleighs Bells Jingling, Jing Jing Jingling

2007-12-01T07:24:00.000-05:00

Today is the YMCA Sleighbell 5k. I have my packet with my shirt and my little jingle bells to put on my shoes. I HATE the jingle bells. I like them on other peoples feet but I deplore them on mine because I then have to listen to the sounds of my labored breathing AND the sounds of my jingle bells as they jingle in a very un rhythmic like jingle. We also have a timing chip! Very cool because in the past we have never had such a thing. So I have had my oatmeal and tablespoon of peanut butter because I cannot go from the day before till after 10:00 a.m to eat. I wish we could start our run at 7:30 a.m. By 9:00am I am well into my morning. I have decided since races freak me out and I panic that I am not gonna worry about time I am just going to have fun with my friends.
I had a really good food week until Friday night...all week...I was such a good girl...thought I was gonna starve to death...but I hung in there. I am going to try to maintain some self control this weekend.

December 5: Is my eldest son's birthday. We will be having him over for dinner tonight because his birthday falls on Wed and it is just too difficult to do a birthday dinner in the middle of the week.
Thoughts on Brad: When we had you we were very young( I had just turned 18 and your father was 19) and we had no idea on how to raise a child. Your father and I likely made every mistake in the book and probably invented new mistakes while raising you but despite the errors made by your parents you thrived and became the awesome person you are today. We are proud that your are a hardworking man and an amazing father. Everytime we see you with your children we marvel at the tenderness and love that pours out of you.
Facts about Brad:
1) Baby Language for Drink of Water "AH DO WAH" and want to go outside (phrased used while banging on the screen door) "AH DO WEEE"
2) Called Bull Dozers "Pickem Up Muddies"
3)Your father liked to play pool in the basement so anytime you would hear pool balls clank you would say "Daddy Daddy"
4) Threw a golf ball at the neighbor's door while walking to school (nothing broke). The neighbor called the police and the police came to our house. I told them you were at school (yes I ratted you out to teach you a lesson) they went to school and told you not to throw golf balls at people's doors. You never threw a golf ball at another person's house after that.
5)When you were a toddler you got into Grandma's Crisco and covered her cabinet door with Crisco (and yes it was hard to get off).
6) One Christmas you and Jamie got up early (before your parents) on Christmas and opened every Christmas present under the tree..EVERY SINGLE ONE
7) Put a dent in the aluminum siding on our house and it is still there today
8)Every teacher you ever had loved you and said you were the most quiet polite child they had ever seen...I still don't know if they had you mixed up with another child because you were never quiet at home.
9) You would often surprise me by having the kitchen cleaned up for me. I still remember one Thanksgiving the house was a disaster when I went to bed and when I woke up a sparkling clean kitchen was there.
10)Got into a gallon of red paint when you were about one or so. I was doing laundry in the basement...you were in the corner...I thought playing with your toys...in fact you had opened a can of paint and painted yourself. I had a little trouble getting the red paint out of your blond hair. You were slightly pink for a couple days after that.

I have lots more but I think you would be horrified if I put them in writing...my very favorite I won't write but a hint...scooby doo underwear...

Brad we love you and are very proud of you!

Okay off to to do the Jingle Bell Trot........

Upcoming Events: Amanda's Baby Shower (Sunday), Brad's Bday, December 8 Craft night at Grandma and Grandpa's House, My Dad's Bday, Snoozys Bday, Aunt Hee Hees Bday, Jamie's BDay, (wow thats alot of Bday Cake), Julianna's expected arrival date (yet another December BDay cake...I am surprised we don't gain 20 pounds during December just from Birthday Cake consumption), Christmas Eve (my house at 5:00), Christmas Day (lunch served around 12-1),

I RUN FOR PIE

2007-11-25T09:02:00.000-05:00

Thanksgiving morning started out with the Gluttony Gobbler Gallop. 3.5 miles with some of the best friends a girl could ask for. 3.5 miles earned me one piece of pie. Unfortunately, my pie consumption far exceeded what I earned. My pants and shirts all feel slightly snug..okay really snug...due to my thanksgiving excess. I must now run, measure food and count food to make up for my gluttony. This week I am sure I am going to suffer terribly from food withdrawal. We had a fantastic Thanksgiving. Before the game playing commenced we plotted out our "Black Friday" strategy. (Black Friday is the happiest shopping day of the year...more details to follow below) After plotting our Black Friday strategy we played my new game "Are you smarter then a Fifth Grader" I am almost as smart as a fifth grader but due to our (me and Tasha) inability to answer "How fast is the speed of sound" We did not graduate fifth grader. My son and mother are not even as smart as a first grader cause they could not answer "What did Winken, Blinken and Nod sail off in" I think Jamie should be removed from his position of power at his place of employment and be put in a menial job that requires no education whatsoever. We ended our night by playing scattorgories which is a blast.

Black Friday: Mine and Kendra's strategy was to acquire four specific items of which the names cannot be disclosed on account of Christmas Secret Code of Honor. I was sent to Meijer to obtain a LCD TV (of which the identity may be disclosed because it was a present from me and Jerry to ourselves). She was going to get in line at Target. The plan was for me to make my purchase then hot foot it over to Target and hook up with Kendra. I reached Meijer at 4:10 a.m to be directed to stand in a line (inside the store) and wait till they distributed the items. As I waited in line no one would talk to me...why would people not talk to me??? Because.... and here is the story....I jumped in my care at 4:00 a.m. On my way to Meijer I started smelling this horrible smell...I thought it must be the air because we have a stinky stinky factory in town... and sometimes the stench wafts it way to our area of town, I thought uck this whole stupid town smells....so I get to Meijers thinking good I am indoors that horrendous smell will go away...walked thru Meijers...still smelled it....thought OH NO I THINK IT IS COMING FROM ME! I looked down and sure enough my shoe is covered in dog poo...it is embedded in the bottom of my shoe and squished all over the side...somebody had let their stupid dog poo right in front of my car door...ick yuck I smelled bad...too late though I was not going to miss my line to get my $150 TV (save $180) so I stood in line...much to my discomfort as well as those around me. I got out of Meijers and was going to head to Target but I could not stand my own smell...thought that's okay I have another pair of shoes in the car I will just switch..discovered the shoes I had were my heeled boots..which are less then comfortable...they are more for slenderize my legs effect then comfortable walking...so I wear them and proceed to shop in the slenderizing but killing feet boots....Now Target....hah I should have worn my dog poop shoes because then maybe I would not have been pushed and shoved and told to "Get out of my way" by some very hefty angry woman...boy she would have gotten it good if I had not been in my work clothes...did not want to get blood on my office clothes...so I had to settle for giving her a dirty look and my I am gonna kick you butt eye squint... she says "Soooooorrry" in a very NOT sorry voice....and can you really be sorry when you deliberately put both your hands on someone's back and PUSH and then say "GET OUT OF MY WAY"? Anyway kudos to Kendra who like magic disappeared and reappeared holding the cannot be named items...she grabbed my arm and said lets go get the other stuff and next thing I knew we were by the other items that cannot be named and threw a few in my cart....after that off in hot pursuit for Giggle and Go Garage (we can mention this because neither Adam or Carissa can read)but alas the Giggle and Go Garages were swooped off the shelves by frantic Christmas Mothers. Target had every check out line open so we got in and out in time for us to stop at the EVIL McDonalds for a quick bite to eat and me to get to work by 7:55 a.m. I told my boss that I have requested off next Black Friday and it was crucial that I be off because no Black Friday shopping for three years could result in convulsions and then a coma like state which would ultimately mean I would get no work done so I might as well be off. She's a good sport and said okay! I was so so so sad to be at my desk on Black Friday and felt light headed...I told her if she saw me turn pale and start to shake to just stick a credit card in my hand and tell me "It's okay...Kimmie...your'e at the Mall".

Quote of the Day: "Yeah your real tuff...you said "The weak shall fall and the strong shall survive"and then you whine, "Somebody pushed me" Spoken by my daughter when I told her that I was pushed in Target.

What were you doing November 24 1984?

2007-11-08T17:38:00.000-05:00

I was on the labor table delivering who is quite possibly the most awesome, beautiful, smartest daughter ever in the whole wide world...

Random Facts about the Most Possibly Awesome Beautiful Smartest Daughter Ever:
1) She was breastfed till she was almost one year old

2) She called her brothers the Bobos and has uttered more then once "I hate the Bobos"

3)Learned to ride an adult 10 speed while she was in kindergarton...she was so small she had to lay it down on a hill to get on it.

4) Refused to eat red jello for months because her brother told her red jello was made from blood..everytime I served it she would just look at it and cry.

5) Made her barbies physically mature by drawing on them with ink pens. ( I threw them away after that)

6)Told the checkout lady at Marsh Grocery Store that I was her foster mother and I was mean ( I AM her biological mother). The lady looked at me like I was the Devil.

7)She had a mad infatuation with Jonathon Taylor Thomas and the Back Street Boys

8) Wrote a hate letter to her father that said "I hate you. You are a Big Meenie" and then signed it "Love your Little Princess" The note was slid under our bedroom door

9) Was nicknamed "The Woman" by her GMA Carnahan

10)Wrote the following in her diary: "Ricky and Timmy asked my why I was wearing a training bra when I did not need one...I told my mom...she said to ignore them...what kind of mother is she"

10)She sat by my side and rubbed my head saying "I love you Mommy don't cry" when I had my wisdom teeth pulled and was laying on the couch in pain.

11) She learned to count by helping me make formula bottles for my babies when I had my daycare

12) A box of her childhood memories is upstairs in my spare room and she WON'T come and get it.

13)Begged and begged to play the clarinet in the 6th grade. I finally caved in and bought the clarinet and let her join band. She played for one year and wanted to quit. I told her she was not quitting until I got my $1000.00 worth of toots out of that thing. She played until the end of 8th grade. She still refuses to pay the clarinet and has "lost" it.

14) She was a daisy, a brown and a girlscout

15) She has her drivers license number memorized...who does that?

16) Made me a Grandma...thus filling my life with joy...oh yeah it was filled with joy just by being her Mom... she just overflowed my joy level by giving me Adam.

To my daughter with all my love.
Love
Momma

Toe Cubes

2007-11-07T17:52:00.000-05:00

Today will likely be my last morning bike ride. I jumped on my bike...actually even wore a jacket, a hat and gloves...as a concession to my flu recovery ....had on my nice Aasics which are just lovely in the summer with their nice vents...had on my nice thin running socks....2 1/2 miles later my toes became toe cubes. My feet were so cold they hurt. Finally stopped, took off my shoes and placed my gloves over my toes and put my shoes back on...felt quite strange but it somewhat warmed them up. I got home and parts of my toes were white and part red. I panicked thinking I had frostbite. My honey told me if it was frostbite they would be black and what did I expect when I was out bike riding in 27 degree weather. So I guess no more below 30 bike rides for me unless I am properly attired.
My flu recovery has played havoc with my miles. I suffered thru 3 miles on Monday...walk, run, walk, run, complain about running, walk some more etc....mostly complaining about running. Tuesday was a little better. Got on the treadmill, walked for .25 mile, ran as fast as could for a few minutes, jogged then walked for about 1.25 miles..felt like gouging my eyeballs out and beating my head on the console with boredom...got off went outside (I was staying inside b/c of flu recovery) said did not care if I got sick again was going outside and finished up 2.35 outside..steady no walking...though I broke no speed records for sure.
Today I biked...see toe cube story above but prior to my bike ride..I cleaned out my fridge thus avoiding future botulism cases and gave my stinky mangy dog a bath and cleaned out his disgustingly seepy ears...how is that for a way to start a day...my life is full of glamour.

Tomorrow is climate run..don't know if I can keep up as I am still kinda tired....5 miles on the agenda...

46 MORE SHOPPING DAYS TILL CHRISTMAS

My credit card is hot to the touch!

I FEEL PRETTY OH SO PRETTY

2007-11-03T06:40:00.000-04:00

One random run in with a sick person on Tuesday and Boom by Thursday morning I am sick. As I walked in to work Thursday morning people stared at me, they stepped away from me...they said "EWWWW are you sick?" Yes yes yes I was sick. I looked like an extra from the Day of the Dead. My skin was pasty and white, my eyes glazed over, my walk reduced to an Igor like shuffle and I was snorting and sniffling like a potbellied pig. I stayed for two hours till my boss arrived and said, "GO HOME and GO TO BED!" Which I gladly did. I got into my finest "I am sick attire" which consist of my oversized running pants and a long sleeved tee shirt which declares me a 5k Jingle Bell participant. I set up "sick central" with the necessary box of kleenx and jar of vicks vapor rub. I then draped myself quite attractively across the couch and begin to litter the coffee table with a mountain of used klennex. How could any man resist the lovliness of this vision? Not to mention the the scent of vicks vapor rub coming off of my feverish body must have been incredible inticing. Of course when I am sick the thought of vegtables and fruit makes me feel sick...what did my body crave? Halloween Candy. The mountain of used klennex was only rivaled by the GIGANTIC mountain of candy wrappers next to it. No chicken soup for this girl no siree healing comes in the form of snickers, m&ms, red licorce, bit o honeys and then for dessert cheap vanilla creame cookies (yes the generic brand..something I am normally far to snobby to eat). The candy medicine must really work b/c with a little effort and alot of aleve cold and sinus I was able to make it to work yesterday...but barely...I still felt like crap and came home and went to bed after I took one dose of fun sized snicker bar and fun sized M&M. Today I feel good enough to try to run which is what I am suppose to be doing now. I swear though when I finish this post I am out the door. So to sum up my sick experience I will list the things necessary for healing:

Large Comfy Clothes
Soft Blanket
Couch
TV with soap operas playing hour after hour
Vicks Vapor Rub
Kleenex
Halloween Candy (Christmas or Easter may be substituted)
Cookies (any type)
Remote Control for the TV WITHIN AN ARMS REACH
Niquel and not the daytime stuff either...its gotta be the hard stuff. The stuff that you have to take like a shot and then you gasp for breath....
Bonus Item: Husband that is willing to run out and get you stuff as needed...I was lucky I had the Bonus Item!

Updates:
Fall Festival at Work: My company/division had a fall festival party. It was great fun. My grandson Ty won third place in the costume contest and then won the "Wrap your Grandma Like a Mummy" game. He was giddy with his third place prize b/c it was a pumpkin full of candy!!!! I thought he would keel over with joy when he looked in that pumpkin. Baby Adam got beat out in the costume contest by a 4 year old Dorothy of the Wizard of Oz...He should have won he made one fantastic Baby Frankensein. We did a Hay ride which both Ty and Adam enjoyed. Ty also found that it is not fun sitting in the back seat of the car with Adam because he uses his pacifer on rope like a sling. Ty got really good at ducking. He said it worse then sitting in the back seat with his little sister.

Halloween: Baby Frankenstein appeared at my house as did Eyeore. I was not aware that Frankenstein liked potatos, sausage and greenbeans but he did. Eyeore was evidently saving herself for candy b/c she did not want to eat.

Fort K: The final stages of Fort K have commenced. Jerry has the posts up for the rest of our privacy fence and he will put the panels on today. We will then be a fully safe yard for toddlers and children to run amuck.

KUDOS: Daughter in Law has become a working mom. She started a new full time job this week! Good Luck Nat!

Anniversaries: Tasha and James 1 year! Kendra and Lucas 2 years!

Upcoming Events: Thanksgiving! 1:00 Thanksgiving day...I will be in contact with you to ask what dish you will be bringing. Black Friday..I am going out but I have to be at work by 8:10 at the latest...so I am up for shopping at 4:00 a.m., Jingle Bell 5k, Christmas Ornament Craft Night and Christmas Eve and Christmas Day...have you got your shopping started? I have!

This Girl Just Wants to Have Fun

2007-10-21T05:47:00.000-04:00

I have been such a bad bad blogger lately! Last weekend we went to the Feast of the Hunters Moon. I love the feast...the smell of firewood, the cool crisp morning, the smell of all the food and the sound of the bagpipes. I usually eat myself around the feast till I go into a food coma. Somewhat like Templeton from Charlotte's Webb when he goes to the fair...okay EXACTLY like Templton. This year I did much better. I was there all day and only ate two scottish shortbread cookies, one bridie and a buffalo burger! That was it!!! It was an amazing feat of self control! After we went to the feast we took off to the wilds of the countryside in an attempt to catch our nasty messy trespassers. It seems to be that our family's country oasis has become a party zone. But we will catch them! Oh yes we will! My husband and son have made it their mission. At any rate we did not find our trespasser last week (or this week either) but they have been out there and dumped trash on my husbands fire pit which has made him most unhappy. Okay so back in town we came because it was time to get to be Grandma and Grandpa! Yeah! He is such a sweet heart. He is walking now! Walking more then crawling. He is a little ball of energy! Grandma and Grandpa got to keep him overnight and so Sunday morning Grandma made him homemade waffles, sausage and eggs. He loved it! He went to Sunday School and hung out with his friends and then back home for some yummy grilled cheese sandwich, chicken noodle soup (which he was not overly thrilled with) and some Mandarin orange slices...then play time till he got irritated, threw a little fit, bonked his head during the fit and then promptly was taken to playpen for nap time. Then off to a football game to watch Ty play. Adam will watch football but Adam also has the attention span of a flea (which is about right for his age) so Grandma pulled him around in his wagon while simultaneously watching Ty play. Carissa thought the wagon looked like so much fun that she hitched a ride as well! Ty played very well but unfortunately the team they played was undefeated so the game ended for Ty in a loss but he played very well and he takes his hits like a trooper! While I was at the game I got to check out the brillance of my granddaughter Carissa. She has discovered that you get more food if you do not share. I had brought little gerber cheese puffs and opened them and put the can between Adam and Carissa. She grabs the can, gives ONE puff to Adam (cause she is a thoughtful girl) and then takes off with the can. I laugh, cause it was funny and reminded me of myself (still to this day). I told her she had to share and she quite willingly brought the can over AFTER stuffing a bunch in her mouth and hands!

Covered Bridge Festival: Attended the Covered Bridge Festival on Thursday with my sister and my pregnant neice. We had a nice time, picked up a few Christmas presents, and best of all no whining from my neice Amanda, who is not a fan of walking when she is not pregnant, so to walk the entire day while Pregnant, well that was AMAZING.
QUOTE OF THE DAY AT THE COVERED BRIDGE: Scenerio: Just finished breakfast at some type of old man Lodge(you know the kind where there is a constant cloud of cigarrette smoke, plastic tablecloths on the tables, and an ashtray on every table and in every nook and cranny of the building)..biscuits and gravy...yummmy...bad kim bad kim...went to get a toothpick...scruffy old man sitting next to the counter with the toothpicks says, "You don't need no toothpick if you ain't got no teeth like me" He then proceeds to hee haw at his cleverness...I laugh and respond yeah I guess your right...and then prayed that he was not the one that had prepared my biscuits and gravy. Though I must say they were the some of the best biscuits and gravy I have every had (except mine and my sister's..despite the fact that she insists on using biscuits in a tube)

RANT OVER TUBE PRODUCTS: I have told my sister over and over if you are going to go the trouble to make homemade gravy of such yumminess that you might as well go the extra mile and MAKE your biscuits. It is just not right to use biscuits from a tube...what kinda loves does that show by slapping buscuits on a table when all you did was whack a tube on the counter and toss them in the oven. None I tell you none! I also have a thing about meat in a tube..except sausage...hamburger should never never never be put in a tube and I refuse to buy it. They now sell hamburger in small, medium and large tubes...bleck......

QUOTE OF THE DAY FROM A VERY CUTE KID: My husband and I were sitting on the couch with my 5 year old neice. She is coloring in a book she got at a festival. The one you get from the police that talks about never talking to stranger. So my husband is talking to her about strangers and she assures us that no she does not talk to strangers because "They will grab you, kidnap you and cook you in a STEW" What on earth has my sister been telling this child?

Workouts: Slipped a the lastweek and did not get my 20 in. Was .5 miles short of 20 this week. Had to reevaluate AGAIN. Running 5 days was killing my knee and foot. Bumped back to Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. Climate Run was great. Friday run was great. I have a new running partner on random Fridays. Monday was speed work and Tuesday was a slow steady boring six on the Dreadmill. Had lots of rain this week so not much biking to the Y. Will get twenty in this week! Possible more!

Time to read the paper and get ready for church!

What I do on my day off

2007-10-21T05:37:00.001-04:00

TOUCHDOWN

2007-09-30T18:50:00.000-04:00

SCORE! My grandson made a touchdown and made the extra! He was on fire today! Tackles, Gained Yards, great blocks,he played hard and aggressive! Went right from a handoff into an awesome block! When he scored I had to remember that I was holding Adam I was so proud and happy I was jumping up and down and likely blew my poor baby grandbaby's ears out with my yelling. Watching him play hard and aggressive brought tears to this Grandma's eyes. GOOD JOB TY! You should have seen him barrelling thru the opposing team's offensive line. He did fantastic looking for holes to get thru while quarterbacking. I kept telling baby Adam you getting this little grasshopper....

ADAM: Is walking! He does a nice little Frankenstein walk....so cute. He spent the night with us on Saturday and accompanied us to our church's Hobo Stew. He loved the hobo stew and we took the wagon so we pulled him and his little friend around in the wagon.

Upcoming events: Ghost Tales, Feast of the Hunter's Moon, Covered Bridge Festival...fun fun fun for Kim!

I LOVE MY________

2007-09-28T18:04:00.000-04:00

One of my magazines, I think it is Good Housekeeping, and yes I know that implies that I might be interested in good housekeeping which of course I am not, usually has an interview with a celebrity and they wear a shirt that says I love my _____, and they are to fill in the blank. Some stars said "life" "family" "dog" so I made list, which is in no particular order

I love my______

God, Husband, Children, Grandchildren, mother, and co-mothers, dad and co-dad, grandma, my sisters, my neices, MYSELF (what a suprise), my climate run group, my Y friends, my job, dinner time, snack time, breakfast time (starting to see a pattern?), lucky running socks, donkey legs, asic 1110s, mp3player, sugar free jello, ability to find the cookies Jerry tries to hide, heart rate monitor, hair colorist that keeps me brunette, Earl Park Bingo Binge, Earl Park Eat Like A Pig Binge, spinning class, road trips with my sisters.... Please feel free to comment and leave your own :"I love my ____"

10 fun Kim Facts

1) I can eat an entire box of Cheese Nips in one sitting

2) I was a waitress for many years and LOVED IT.

3) I refused to go the hospital while in labor with my second son and my husband had to drag me kicking and screaming to the hospital.

4) I love Rock of Love

5) I fell asleep in the bathroom at church

6) I love the Enquirer and someday the knowlege I have gained from this magazine will pay off...I just know it.

7) I do not cry during sad movies

8) I laugh really hard at funny movies

9) I forget to shift and often take corners in 4th gear (which makes my husband cringe and say your gonna burn your tranny out)

10) I love to shop at the Dollar Tree shhhhhh that's a secret though because when most people ask I tell them my favorite store is Macy's.

Update: My newest skill acquired...Now I can run faster then tail light walks! hahahaha Tail Light a/k/a Jill

A Pondering: Why do parents ask their children if they want a spanking? I too have been guilty of this and never once did my kids say "Yes, please a really hard one" so I guess since we know the answer is gonna be no we should just stop asking.

An Absolutism from Kim: One should never never never consume an entire box of shredded wheat in one feeding.

Things one doesn't want to see: A husband with his foot in an air cast, up in a tree with a saw. If you ask what he is doing he will probably say, "Getting firewood"

Another thing you don't want to see: Your stupid dog laying UNDERNEATH the tree with the man and the saw.

Working Out: My runs have been AWESOME. Other then the two cars that tried to run me over, the dead animal I almost ran thru and big giant hill I enjoyed them so much I almost want to cry. Now don't get me wrong by awesome I do not mean speedy but rather it gave me this incredible sense of "Wow I love my life"

Well time to go I am suppose to be paying bills but just got a tad bit side tracked......

Heart Walk and other news!

2007-09-23T14:38:00.000-04:00

Do you remember what it was like to have this much fun?

Ahhh to be nine again!

He probably wouldn't bat an eye if Freddy Kruger held him but the clown...now that's another story.

The Heart Walk: Natalie gave a wonderful speech that brought tears to my eyes. The kids had a great time as there were clowns, a playground and games. It was such a beautiful day for a walk and what a worthy cause. Thank you to all the people that donated money for the walk!

Abby's Birthday: Abby is now a big 5 years old and so excited about all her birthday gifts. We had a nice time at the party. Grandma jumped on the trampoline...believe it or not that is a real cardiac workout if you jump pretty high. My dismount off the trampoline was a little less then graceful. Ty tried to tell me that doing a flip was easy and I should try it. I told him I would take his word for it and leaving the flipping to him. Carissa loved the trampoline and it sent her into fits of giggles (for safety nut people...the trampoline is encased by a safety net).

Fitness updates: I am on track and have completed 19.5 miles of running for this week...next week 20! I believe I am going to do the Benton County YMCA 5k this weekend as I am going to miss the Pumpkin Push. 16+ miles of biking completed! So my four day a week running plan has been so far successful!

Upcoming events: Lucas Birthday, Feast of the Hunters Moon, Covered Bridge (no men folk allowed). I am also going to be scheduling a "Family Hobo Stew" watch for details.

What Doesn't Kill You will Just Hurt You Real Bad

2007-09-11T19:41:00.000-04:00

Fitness:
I have determined after watching my belly shake (I am sure to the envy of Santa) that my workout regime must be kicked up. No more running two days a week and random third days. I will run 4 days every week from now on (barring vomiting, gushing blood, headaches that want to make me gouge my eyeballs out or death). I completed my first four day week last week with much success. Monday was a short two miles, Tuesday 4 miles (dreadmill), Thursday almost 5 miles (road), Friday 4 miles (road). In addition I biked about 32 miles with my long bike being Sunday of a 9.50 and a 6 mile rides. I also did one spinning class, two power hour classes and some lifting. So far this week I logged in 2.75 on Monday, Today was suppose to be a straight 4 miles but I just couldn't get going so I switched over to 1/4 mile intervals. Running 10.35 minutes per mile on my running and then reducing to a very fast walk on the alternationg .25 mile for a total of 4 miles then I did a steady 12 minute mile cooldown MILE for a total of 5. Very little knee and foot discomfort so it is getting better. I have been riding my bike back and forth to the Y because I have a theory. My theory: If I ride then run and it hurts real bad, then on days when I just run it should only hurt a little. I have yet to test that theory. In about another month or so of the biking/running combo I will give it try and drive to the Y to do the Thursday climate run...perhaps I will be able to stop and do some shopping at the VP while I wait for the others.....
Question: Am I the only one that suffers and thinks they are dying while running?

Trivia: It has been proven by science that I actually am hotter and more tired then the other woman I run with (okay I am talking temperture) According to Runner's World the larger you are the more surface area you have to cool and of course the larger the area the harder your body has to work to cool itself thus spending my precious energy supply not on speed but on cooling. So see I am really suffering far more then they are....it is not just whining...it is science.

Strange and Unusual Sighting: A very slender man, whose wife is constantly perplexed that he eats like a pig and NEVER gains a pound, was seen at the Y WEIGHING IN! I advised that his spouse would be most unhappy if she saw him weighing in and he covered by saying "I am trying to go up!" Ha I say I bet he has a secret stash of carrots and cauliflower at the office and that is how he stays thin.

Grandchildren:
Eldest Grandchild: Went to Ty's football game and though they lost he played mighty hard and had some good plays. He was covered from head to foot in mud. He then came back to my house where we played a game of scrabble (his choice). I am so happy I have a grandchild that loves scrabble! He then played Teken with his Grandpa and that ended our day. He is ready for this weekend's Scrabble tournament so lookout family!

Middle Grandchild: Miss Carissa is quite a beauty! She loves books and Doodle Bops (which are the most demented people/characters I have ever seen). She still likes to do "the monster" to make Grandma laugh and she now no longer is scared of the wagon.

Youngest Grandchild: Happy happy boy. Smiles and his face lights up. He loves to do "the muscle man" for Grandma (will post video of that later). Will not go to Grandma if Grandpa is around. Loves to ride in his little red wagon! Thinks Grandma is his napping cot. Thought he had chicken pox but just a false alarm. He had one of those baby "mystery rashes".

Oldest Niece: Getting closer to baby time...end of December. She is having a girl (good thing as before she even knew the sex she had purchased every pink baby item she could get her hands on, this was also fueled by the soon to be Grandma (who I might add was saying "I don't know why Amanda is buying all pink so soon" while Grandma herself was buying a pink bassinet). I am so glad she is having a girl as our men folk don't pull off pink so good.

Middle Niece: Smart, funny, and currently in a crap load of trouble with her Mom. Keep it up girlie and your college fund will be used for Bond Money....just kidding Amber....they probably won't let you post bond....just kidding....hahaha don't bad mouth me on you site cause you know I love ya...

Youngest Niece: Abby Abby where do I begin...ah my young niece has a fascination with Underdog, not the current underdog but the Underdog cartoon that her Mom and I use to watch as girls. She watches it ALL the time and every time she comes over here she requests to watch it even though I have a tons of other videos. So for those of you that are lacking in Underdog education I will educate you. Underdog is a mild mannnered dog until someone is in peril. When the need arises he takes his super energy pill (which somebody pointed out means Underdog uses drugs) and he becomes caped crusader UNDER DOG with super hero powers. Underdog has a girlfriend Sweet Polly Purebred who is constantly being, kidnapped, bound, gagged, blindfolded and either tied to railroad tracks or dropped from buildings by Underdog's arch enemy (whose name eludes me at this time). Underdog always saves Sweet Polly. Personally I think Underdog should tell Sweet Polly to get in the weight room and lift and then she would not get in these situations. I also note that Underdog will not share his "stash" so that Sweet Polly could have super hero powers too. However, our hero does love love Sweet Polly and he seems happy to fly to her rescue. So upon hearing Sweet Polly Purebreds shrieks of terror and cries of "Help Help, Save me Underdog" Underdog pops his pill and and rescues his damsal in distress. So our dear sweet Abby in her obsession over Underdog has begun binding, blindfolding and gagging her stuffed animals....my sister said she looked over on the dresser and there was poor little stuffed animal blindfolded with his feet bound and paws bound behind his back. Now I know if we were nice adults we would say "Abby it is not nice to bind and blindfold your stuffed animals" but I think it is funny as heck and have been laughing my butt off everytime I think about it. I think next time Abby is doing her villineous deeds that Denise should photograph it so I can blog it. Oh...I bought her the new release of Underdog on DVD for Christmas....

The Slug: Is slowing coming back to life as she begins her walking regime.

Husband: After 6 doctors, xrays, bone scans, nerve blocks and constant trips to the doctor to treat RSD we have found that he has TORN LIGAMENTS AND TENDON. He does not have the crippling disease that he was original diagnosed with! TORN LIGAMENTS AND TENDONS! It will definetely be a long healing process and he absolutely detests his air cast but he is wearing it.

My dumb brunett moment: I thought my car was broken...would not start....had my husband take me to work. He calls me at work and asked me who taught me to drive (actually it was him!) and said I did not have my clutch pushed in all the way when I tried to start it. In defense of myself I have to say that the floor mat had crunched up behind the clutch not allowing me to clutch all the way...it wasn't like I was all weak and delicate and unable to push the clutch in.

Pumpkin Push Conflict: The Pumpkin Push is the same day as the Feast so I will not be able to do the Push but perhaps I can find a 10k before or after that.

Scrabble Tournament: The first annual Kaufman/Groleau Scrabble Tournament. This weekend! Food Served. Prizes Awarded. I have been walking around stupid all week to save my brain power (see dumb brunette moment above). I also bestowed upon Tyson my Scrabble strategy so he may be a force to be reckoned with.

More Birthday Fun

2007-09-09T16:46:00.000-04:00

Despite not wanting to hang out with the birthday boy because "He will slobber all over my toys", Abby is having fun!

Special Treats made for a special birthday boy! Grandma (me) made the brownie pops...tasty but alot of work!

BEING BLUE CAN SOMETIMES BE GOOD

2007-09-09T16:35:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday to Adam. One year old!

Are my shoes the only ones that do this?

2007-09-04T19:03:00.000-04:00

The Merry Go Round Does Not Stop

2007-08-13T18:05:00.001-04:00

I have been a most busy woman, at least it seems to be that way. It is more likely that I just do not use my time wisely so it appears that I am busy. So where did I leave off? Ah the Bun Run! Since then I have had my 27th wedding anniversay...yes kids I know you can do math! My beloved bought me a spiffy new coffee maker because he knows I love my coffee (plus he hated my old one). From me he received a gift of hours of pleasure...yes the 1st season DVD of Mash. Hours of fun! In addition, he received some man scent....I love Curve for men! Aside from that my last several Saturdays have been spent training for that elusive 11 minute mile. The first Saturday of August we did hills. Up the hill, down the hill, over and over and over. Not to mention we had our 1/2 mile warm up before the hills and our cool down was a mile. Jill and I discussed, rather I griped and Jill listened that the 1 mile could not be a "cool down" as it has a big giant hill at the end and then once over the hill and to the edge of the parking lot we sprint. But she is a good friend and listens to my gripe while still keeping me going. The hills in August were much more successfull then the hills I did in July as this time I actually finished both sets of 5 without stopping to walk. GO KIMMIE! However, by the end of the day I could barely walk and had to be pulled out of my Saturn. Last week we did Sprints (for the first time) and it was quite a workout. No sprints or hills this weekend because I am heading to Cincinnati/Newport for a girls weekend with my daughter and daughter in law.

Biking: Went biking with Jill and Barb last friday. Mapped it out and it was a bout 12 1/4 miles. They have real bikes. I have a Walmart bike. The result is me about a mile behind them pumping like crazy just trying to keep them in my sight. I feel like the little fat kid that is always yelling, "Hey guys wait up". After the last ride I decided I needed a helmet, front light and rear lights (0n account of some weird hillbilly in a beat up old pickup truck honked and made a rude gesture to me) So now I am visable and I was so proud of myself for buying a helmet and actually wearing it (because I look like a goober in it). That is until somebody I know asked me where did I get my helmet and I said Walmart and he rolled his eyes and said "Oh so you wanna die slowly" So I guess that means I need to go to the bike shop and get me a real helmet, which I am sure means "expensive helmet". While I am at it might as well get an expensive bike. So kids there goes you inheritance....no post death trip to Hawaii for any of you!

The heat and humidity have been high making workouts hard. On Thursday's climate run we had to stop and walk twice to cool down. But I have to say kudos to me because last year I would not have even set foot out the door in this weather. I spent all last summer in on the dreadmill. So progress has been made.

Grandma and Grandpa spending their money at Menards: We went shopping at Menards and came home with one baby swing and one red wagon great for pulling small children in!
He loves the red wagon and had lots of fun being pulled thru the park!

Upcoming Girls Weekend:

The plan is to leave early Saturday and head out to the Newport/Cincinnati area. So far we have planned to go to the aquarium. I sure my daughter and daughter in law are doing the aquarium to humor me but....but Kendra did perk up when I told her they had penguins. To balance out the aquarium we are going to a comedy club for dinner and a show. Hopefully we will find some good outlet malls because Christmas is right around the corner! Girls Just Wanna Have Fun!!!!!!!

Jerry's Leg: The doctor has now said he does not think Jerry has RSD (which is a very good thing as RSD is a very bad thing). However, he said he has no idea what is wrong with his leg. So my poor husband has been pushed off onto another doctor. This makes 6 doctors now and no diagnosis. He goes for an MRI (which I have questioned before why they have not done one) I had to push for a bone scan. MRI is set for tomorrow and then he goes to the doctor to have it read on Wed. Keep him in your thoughts! If it proves to be my diagnois I will be hanging my shingle on the door and accepting new patients shortly!

Okay I am tired and am heading off to bed. I did my first bricklet this morning 1.7 mile bike and 1.2 mile run and then 1.7 mile bike. Tomorrow is a baby brick 1.67 bike, 3 mile run 1.67 bike. Okay that last bike will be after lifting weights so I don't know if that technically counts. I guess since Saturday I will be traveling I better get a run in on Friday then I can take Saturday off and then just swim and do the eliptical at the hotel Sunday morning (cause I know my roomies at the hotel aren't gonna be getting up at 5:30 to work out with me. So over and out for now my friends!

Question of the Week Uttered by Yours Truely: "Jill, you're doing this to beat Amy.... why the heck am I doing this? Asked during our discussion about sprints and determining why we were putting ourselves thru such pain and agony. There was no answer.

Quote of the Week by Jill: "You need to work on consistency" Nice way of saying "Quit being a slacker Kim"

You gotta love a friend that will tell you like it is but in a nice way!

I WILL RUN FOR FOOD

2007-07-29T06:32:00.000-04:00

Bun Run 5k: 84 Kim Kaufman 35:04 11:19
Far better then my zoo run run which had an average pace of 12:25
This all goes to prove my theory that when food is involved I work harder....as shown in the example above...see the bun run was at the HOT DOG festival. A festival which glorifies the all american goodness of the absolutely no redeeming food quality of the HOTDOG. Another example: I beat my son at bowling. Why because we were bowling for steak! I, who bowls maybe once a year, beat (by alot) my son who has bowled on leagues. I bet if we had a Cookie Run I would come in first because I am passionate about cookies. I am only ehhhhh about hotdogs but cookies...I bet I could run a 2 minute miles for cookies.

Thank goodness for my young friend because she kept me going when I thought I was going to stop. Matter of fact my heart rate got up to 191 and I slowed down and walked for one minute and then got it back down to the 160s and started again. Total walk times in this run...less then 4 minutes total. Which if I had not taken those and just slowed down I probably could have gotten in in 33 minutes. Something about the race scene just freaks me out because I do 5ks all the time without walking but for some reason when I get in a group setting I get freaked out, which is why I am trying to do all the 5ks I can find to get use to it. However, I do note that my heart rate accelarates alot so I am actually in the anaerobic stage of exercise which is not all that great and effective for training. So seeing as I am making such crappy process I am going to try and do some heart rate training. It has been said that this is much more effective training so we will give it awhirl. My max heart rate should be 175 and 85@ would be 140. So I am going to be working on that theory for awhile...except for 5k races which will be just about better my time..but for now training will be set at the heart rate goal. The article also said when you are in anaerobic state you are not burning fat supplies but rather "Your aerobic range runs from 70-85%, 85% representing your anaerobic threshold, or the point at which your body can no longer provide enough oxygen to the muscles to satiate the demands, so your body engages what is called your Adenosine Triphosphate/Phosphagen System (ATP/Phosphagen system), also known as your Anaerobic pathway. The body is now burning sucrose-based ATP in your muscles because its monosaccharide (one bonded carbohydrate per molecule) is a very simple form of energy, and burns very quickly." So now I am going to apply science and caloric control to my weight loss endevor. Back to measuring food and now I will be measuring my heart rate...sigh...
Well better get going I had vowed to do some work before church this morning and so far the ONLY things I have done are take a bath, blog and throw some toilet bowl cleaner in the toilet. I figure it is cleaning itself while I am blogging....

Will post pictures soon.

Drop and Give Me 20

2007-07-24T19:22:00.000-04:00

Well the Y is closed this week due to maintenance. I am having Y withdrawl...so bad in fact that my friend Jill and I met in the Y parking lot Monday morning to do a workout, which consisted of a 5k run (actually a little further as Jill and I sorta missed a turn and had to back track), about every 3-4 blocks we would stop and do pyramid push ups. Which means the first time we did 5 then next stop 10 and so on up to 25, then we worked our way back down to 5 and then back up to 25. It was a good workout because even though she is much faster she can go run ahead and then run back to get me when it is time to do pushups. This particular workout has been named, "Mike's Tour of Duty". ****Mike had us do this workout one day when he was subbing. I think it must have looked quite funny to see a big brawny man running with a group of pudgy 40 year old women waddling behind him****At any rate it was a good workout and my heart rate stayed in the 170s pretty much consistently. Jill did great as always and I as always pathetically and slowly trotted far far behind her.

Updates:
Zoo Run Run: Horrible, for some reason EVERY time I do a run I bail. I don't know if it because I am by myself or what...but I start running and the next thing you know I am walking. I need to learn to quit freaking out! My zoo run run turned into a Zoo Run Walk run walk run walk. The Bun run is this weekend and I will be having a person pace me to keep me from walking. I finally found a runner just my speed...granted she is in highschool but hey I need a pacer and she is a pretty terrific kid (as is her sister!). I guess that is because they have really nice parents.

Pedicure: After the Zoo Run Walk Run Walk I got my very first pedicure compliments of my son and daughter in law. It felt really good and my piggies look glorious with their white tips...wellllllll maybe glorious is not the most apt description...perhaps less doglike....well they just look better then they did. I think the poor lady was in shock when she found she was going to have use a black and decker sander on my callouses.

Birthday: My daughter/her mother in law/her sister in law had a cookout/get together/birthday party and it was really nice. I got a heart rate monitor/calorie monitor which I had been eyeballing for awhile. I really want the nice little garmin but until I can hold an 11 minute mile I am not worthy and just am worthy of the heart rate monitor. I do love my new toy. While experimenting with it I found that office workers according to their caloric burning should not be consuming more then one greenbean and one grape.

Michigan: Went to Michigan this weekend for my inlaws 40th wedding anniversary celebration. I ate my weight in pastries every morning for breakfast, then would promptly go back to the room and sleep off my pastry induced coma. I would then spend the entire day complaining to my husband that I am the fattest person in his family. Next time I am staying at a hotel where NO PASTRIES are served. I have no self control. I am a big glutton. Even when I am full I just keep stuffing the danishes down my throat because "I won't get to eat this stuff again until my next trip" So I guess I am operating under the Bear/Hiberation/Food concept. Aside from my pastry overdoses I had a really nice time. However, I am now back at the jiggle when I run stage again.

House: I hope I don't die anytime soon because this house is a mess and I don't want people to say, "I can't believe she lived like this"

Things people will ask/say upon my untimely death:

Why does she have rubber chicken in a shoe box

Why does she have 10 pair of running shoes but only one pair of high heels

Ooooohhh yuck her sports bras are gray, I ain't touching those.

How come she has over 100 cookbooks but only cooks chicken, hamburgers and cubed pork on the grill.

Is it really neccessary to have canceled checks all the way back to the 1980's.

How many cans of green beans does one person need

Wow....Poison, Guns and Roses, Shakira, Gwen Steffani, Lorretta Lynn, Conway Twitty, Woodland Indiana Flute Music, and Scottish Bagpipes...was she a multiple personality?

Who's gonna cook Thanksgiving dinner?

Do you think she wants to be buried in her gym shorts, Y volunteer tee shirt, and running shoes (the answer is yes!)

I told her not to attempt that second mini marathon.

Upcoming Events

Bun Run this Saturday morning.
Tasha's birthday on Friday
Grandma Casey's birthday on Friday
Hair Coloring on Thursday...I know this is not an event of great family importance but I gotta look good for the bun run.

Grandmas and Kid Do Run Run the Zoo Run Run

2007-07-13T05:07:00.000-04:00

Zoo Run Run is tomorrow and my 9 year old grandson will be participating as is the other Grandma and his father. What fun! I don't know how well I will do as my foot and knee have been difficult but I am going to muster through! I would at least like to do 33 minutes but if not that is okay. The weather should be nice, however, I just don't like 8:30 runs. What is wrong with the people in this town that they can't do a nice 6:30 or 7:00 am run? Actually I like 5:30 am. runs but I know NOBODY in this town would go for that.

Weight: Down 2 1/2 pounds this week but that may have changed as we ate dinner out last night for my birthday and my friend at work treated me to a Greek Chicken Wrap for lunch. Which I must say was one of the yummiest things I have ever had. No birthday cake untill after the Zoo Run Run though. May not even have it then as I am not a big cake fan.

Workouts: 1/2 mile on Monday, spinning and power hour, 3 miles on Tues(average pace 11.35 per mile), lifting and 3 mile bike ride in evening, Wed swimming, Thurs 4 1/2 miles (not sure of pace but I can absolutely say it was slow), lifting, today I am teaching power and because most of us are doing the Zoo Run Run we will keep it simple and easy...we are playing DODGE BALL! Yeah I love dodge ball!

Last Weekend! Hung out with two of my most favorite buddies: Tyson and I went to see fantastic four and then Adam came over about 6:30 pm and spent the night with Grandma so Mom could go to a BBQ. At 4:00 on Saturday I met my friend at the Y and put up our before and after bullentin board. She decorated and I got to use the stapler (0ne account of I have zero creativity). It looks fantastic and it has gotten lots of attention.

Tyson our overnight will be coming up soon...maybe we can go camping out at Grandpa's camp site and have a fire and do some fishing! Maybe the last weekend of July. We have a table set up so we can even play some cards!

Better get ready for the Y....I will update you after my run with the animals or should I say my trot with the animals.

HELP WANTED

2007-07-03T20:26:00.000-04:00

HELP WANTED: Looking for someone to walk one slug like Grandma. No benefits, no pay, lousy hours. She is vicious and will bite if she smells fast food on you. However, if you enjoy hearing whining, moaning and crying...this is just the job for you! No experience necessary. Uniform provided.

The Broken: The slug a/k/a Grandma a/k/a my mom has broken her patella and severely strained her arm and shoulder by falling up the stairs (don't forget she just had to go to the hospital for her sciatic nerve). So now the exercise nazi a/k/a yours truely has deemed her a mobility/stability risk and has made her give a true promise that she will start walking and working on her healthy back exercises. Now we all know that the slug has the very best of intentions, however, her intentions don't always make it to the completion stage so I will be looking for some volunteers to "Slugercise" with her. Which means nothing hard...just 10 to 15 minutes of walking and about 10-15 minutes of stretching. We won't be able to start for awhile as her knee needs to heal but I think she really needs some support to make this a go. Just once a week would be great...so hopefully will get her to do at least 5 days a week! I would even be willing to make a tee shirt for the workers that says " I Love to Slugercise"

The Bloated: There is nothing more icky feeling then trying to run with about 3 pounds of water weight. I felt like a big old fat tick. Does anyone know when Menopause is suppose to start? Will I still crave cookies after Menopause? Will I start to look more like Jessica Simpson? Will I run like the wind because I do not have bloating?

Babys Got Tooth: Adam has his two bottom front teeth! He also had his first "Pepe's" experience and he loves rice but not as much as he loves "El Popo"

Ouch: Jerry got his nerve block today and advised that it is the WORSE pain he has ever felt in his life. Multilple shots in the back to deaden the nerve. He said NEVER AGAIN! However, his foot does feel better now. Next step physical therapy!

BIG LOSER JR: James is looking FANTASTIC as his weight loss journey begins. From the looks of him I would say down at least 25 p0unds.

KUDOS: Big Thank Yous to Kendra and Tasha this week for shuttling our injured to and fro this week.

I thought I would Die but did not: Last Saturday Jill, Bob and I went to the West side and did some hill training. While they did much running.... mine was like a little run, a little walk....a little run...a little walk...the circuit was 10 times around. Let me tell you 10 is not alot when counting cookies or m&ms. It is a lot when counting times up a hill. HOWEVER, before we started we had to warm up. The warmup was suppose to be a mile. That is until they saw the look of horror on my face. I about had heart failure when I heard a mile warmup then hills. They quickly revised it to 1/2 mile warm up (thank goodness for Jill who said "We can't make her so tired that she can't finish the hills"). I still attempted to wiggle out of 1/2 mile warmup by telling them I would "just run around the parking lot" while they did their warmup. That was not met with approval and so I was unsuccessful with my trying to avoid the 1/2 mile warmup. They said they would go slow and true to their word they trotted faithfully by my side. What goods friends to trot when they can gallop. We completed our hills and we sorta jogged back to the car where we stretched a little. They then advised "Okay time for our cool down" WHAT! I thought STOPPING was COOLING DOWN but oh no a cool down in the runners world is ANOTHER ENTIRE MILE AFTER DOING ENDLESS HILLS. After a little prodding, okay alot of prodding, I did the mile and what did we find during the mile cool down but yet another hill. Bob did say we were suppose to take the bigger hill but I am pretty sure he thought I would throw myself down on the ground and cry if he took the bigger hill so he turned up the smaller one. The fat little runner said "Thank Goodness!" I am glad I went even though I despise hills and I thank Jill for making it sound like "fun" and Bob for coming along to make sure we did not get lost or injure our selves in the attempt to do "hill workouts" So I made it through and am looking foward to trying conquer the "Mountains of Pain and Agony"

Random Thought: If this is not making me look like Jessica Simpson why the heck am I doing this? My thought while hill training.

Quote of the Day

2007-06-23T11:51:00.000-04:00

"Did you take some kinda pill"

Spoken by my husband for my extreme housecleaning mode. Back up at 6:30 a.m. to organize my videos and DVDs by catorgories, dusted my living room (now Jerry will just have to guess my thoughts since I have no place to write), scubbed bathroom sink, tub and toilet (uck), cleaned my side of the room (big stack of books, magazines, 4 pair of running shoes, 1 pair of hiking books, one pair of slippers, two pair of jeans and threw all the stuff off the top of my nightstand into the nightstand drawer..a favorite cleaning trick of mine), wiped out the fridge and threw away things I thought might give me food poisoning, emptied the box of stuff I had from when I switched jobs, vacuumed the computer room and "straightened" it up, did dishes, and cleaned out the dogs ears (yet another argument against having future pets), attempted to get Lizzie (who is very ill) to take her medicine, repeatedly poked it in her mouth when she kept spitting it out...and NOW I am blogging and having a much deserved cup of joe. As soon as my laundry is dry we will be heading out to Walmart....

Update: I obtained a Walmart headache while in Walmart. I hate the new Walmart. I love the old Walmart. From now on I will drive to the old Walmart even though it is farther away. The people were driving me nuts. They were IN MY WAY AND THEY WOULD NOT MOVE. I need to rent out Walmart so I can shop by myself.

Baby Adam. He has a tooth. I can feel it. He will not let me see it. Even when I offered to trade him a yummy yummy enfamil bottle for one little peek of this tooth he would not open his mouth wide enough for Grandma to see. I told him no cookies till I see proof of tooth!

Bacteria Cocktails All Around!

2007-06-22T23:22:00.000-04:00

Tuesday I started coming down with the flu by Wednesday I was in bed...not eating....cramping, achy, felt like one of the Sopranos worked me over. Little did I know that my sweet sweet granddaughter had whipped up a bacteria cocktail for Grandma.... which was passed to an unknowing loving Grandma via kisses...so Carissa's kisses packed a wallop. The Bacteria Family Tree is as follows: Sunday before last Adam projectile vomits at Indiana Beach...he was there with his parents and his Aunt Natalie, Cousin Tyson and Cousin Carissa....by Tuesday Baby Adam's parents are sick.....then the following Sunday (father's day WELCOME TO THE PUKING SIDE OF FATHERHOOD BRAD) Carissa begins the vomit festival, Monday Tyson joins in, by Tuesday her father, and I am sick and then Wednsday poor Natalie who is still recovering from open heart surgery is sick. What is ironic is that I am the only who wasn't vomiting all over the place. See there is something to be said for leading a healthy exercising life. The bacteria tried to take me down but only took down my front forces...my back troops stood firm. It took me two days and then I was pretty much over it beside a residual nausea. Despite being sick Tuesday and Wednesday, Thursday I was able to get a good lift in and I did 4 miles at 12 minute mile pace. Not bad for a girl that was bed ridden and unable to eat or drink for two days. I did bail on the Thursday climate run because I did not think I was up to 5 miles and I did not want to actually puke on Puke Mountain.

NEWS: Baby Adam is having a tooth break through...will keep you updated on this great breaking news!

KUDOS: My son James is on his way to being a big loser! 18 pound weightloss so far! Go Jamie Go! I will see you at the Mini next year!

Misery and Pain: My poor husband's foot is still not healed. If it is what they think it is he is in for alot of work to get this healed up if they can heal it at all. They suspect it is a nerve disorder...his nurses opinion"You will wish you just had a stress fracture"...ouch more to come on this topic after his Monday appointment with the rheumotoid doctor...which he will then likely be sent to a Nuerologist. They have tossed around RSD which if you go out on the web you will see that it is going to be no picnic for Jerry, if this is in fact what he suffers from.

Sewage: Every blog should discuss sewage at one time. My pipes have once again backed up and I cannot blame the King of Dookie since he is no longer living in the house a/k/a Jamie. So I guess it must be tree roots and other nasty nasty things. shudder.......So my husband once again (this has become twice a year pleasure), rented an electric eel and began the disgusting job of unclogging the drain pipe out to the road. Running an electric eel is not easy and takes quite a bit of strength and a very strong stomach. My husband has now vowed to take a chain saw to our neighbors tree and cut it down to keep it from working its wily roots into our drain.

Lady of the Night: I am a lady of the night. That is a carpet cleaning lady of the night. Seeing as I have no life my friday night was spent by shampooing my living room carpet. Of course I was looking fine as I was wearing my best attire for this roaring fun....my old running shoes, mens gym shorts and a tee shirt. I am surprised my husband could keep his hands off me as I was so drop dead gorgeous...dab a little lemon pledge behind my ears and who knows where the night might lead...... okay the running shoes, gym shorts, tee shirt and not even the lemon pledge caused my husband to whisk me away...so on with carpet cleaning.....It is 11:41 pm. I just finished the carpet and am contemplating whether I can dare have any more fun...perhaps I could dust my banister or the furniture. However, if I dust my furniture I effectively shut down my form of communcation with my husband as he can leave correspondence to me on the coffee tables and endtables. What an awesome way to save the trees! I really think house work is overrated but when I do it it is either very late at night or very early in the a.m. (night practically). Every once in awhile I will do a night time cleaning jag but overall I intensely dislike the whole house cleaning experience. Yes I like a clean house, yes I like order...yes I want someone else to do it for me...and thank goodness I married a man who likes to clean and is good at it (a gene passed down to my oldest son Brad..who vacuums his curtains and was excited to get a swiffer wet jet for his birthday)

My reason for disliking housework are:
1) If I dust I am disturbing the delicate balance of our ecosystem. Did they not teach us in school that we should leave nature as we found it?
2) House work causes injuries...the last time I was mopping. I got all into the mopping groove and drove the mop handle into my own face.
3) Everyone knows that a clean house is a sign of a boring woman
4) Running burns more calories then running the sweeper
5) I almost killed myself with a chemical mixture of comet and bleach. I thought this would be an awesome toilet cleaning solution...what it did was make a giant mushroom cloud of toxic fumes which caused my lungs to burn and my eyes to water and all I could smell was bleach for two days afterwards. I also think it gave my face a chemical peel.
6)Of course there is always the old standby..why clean it when it will just get dirty again.
7) I will have time to clean when I am retired
8)If you clean more then two days in a row people expect it all the time.
9)I don't think people feel comfortable in a house that looks like it should be in Better Homes and Gardens. At my house people don't hesitate to plop their feet up on my coffee table..even my 18 months granddaugher does this (and it is adorable).
10) Nobody ever had a headstone that said "She kept a really clean house"

Other News or Thoughts that are of no interest to anyone but me:

There is a run in Hell Michigan. I think it is like 5 miles. You get a shirt that says "I've run thru Hell" I want that shirt!

Since I have been slacking on the workouts my belly jiggles when I run. I don't like it. I have now kicked into high gear so I can be jiggle free for the Zoo Run Run.

My thighs are gigantic and I suspect it might not be all muscle.

Just because I think I look like Jessica Simpson does not mean other people do. ( I still think they are wrong though!)

I think it is okay to stop and have a cookie afterwork on Friday nights because it is better then stopping for a beer.

The scales were down 1 1/4 pounds on Wed.

Poison makes me run faster (not like arsenic but the group).

Well that is all for tonight. I think the lady of the night shall retire to her quarters.
Pictures to follow soon...one especially will bust a gut for those of us who can laugh at ourselves.

Just call me Monk

2007-06-15T05:42:00.000-04:00

Well maybe I am not Monk on cleanliness because I could careless if my house is dirty and I embrace dust and disorganization. HOWEVER, I am a Monk when it comes to my schedule. I like to do the same things at the same time every day! But the month of May has been most hectic. Not that I mind because my family is my number one priorty and always will be BUT if I am not in my routine I have no discipline at all with food or exercise or anything else. So I am going to consider this week a write off and will start afresh this new week. My goals:

Resume being at the Y at 5:15 a.m. as opposed to dragging my sorry butt in every day *except Thursdays* at 6:00 a.m.
Quit Slacking in the weight room and yacking my jaws to my friends instead of pumping iron
Resume spinning and power hour with a vengence
The running will be 3 days with the long run being 5 miles. Probably do 3, 5 and 3 while my foot heals.
Lean to swim like a dolphin...okay maybe a penguin.
Not sitting on the couch in the evening but trying to do a least 30 minutes of house/yard work a night THEN going on my bike ride....oh resume nightly bike rides.
Resume afternoon walks at work

Biggest Loser: We are doing a bigger loser contest at work. The weigh in was Wednesday (honor system on account of no one wants to give up their numbers). The weigh in are every Wed and we have to chart our own progress. Again this is the honor system. Every week we put a $ in the kitty and at the end of 16 weeks the winner gets the pot. I have not yet heard if this is based on body percentage or just straight pounds. In order to be fair it should be body percentage. Perhaps this will give me an incentive to control my weekend food and get the rest of this chub off me. Because I really feel like the key to running is to get off 25 pounds...then I know I will be sleek and fast....like a race horse...well more likely a draft horse...but hey they are pretty fast when they get moving.

Hog Jog: This Saturday. My foot and knee hurt AND it is going to be hot as blazes. I have not yet determined if I will actually run it. I might bale on the 10k and do the 2mile. If you remember from last year the Hog Jog was a fiasco. It was hot. I was ill prepared. I was scared I would be last. I was miserable and I used vulgar language when I passed my son who was holding the video camera. He then attempted to blackmail me with the video with threats of showing my Grandma. That did not work. I told him he could show it to Grandma, he could show it to my mom, he could show it to the entire church and I DID NOT CARE b/c I WAS MISERABLE. This year....it will be hot...I am ill prepared (due to limited running b/c of knee and foot pain), my vulger language vocabulary has grown, and I know I will be last because I bet that guy that was last last year will not come anywhere near the hog jog. So there you have it...a receipe for disaster.

Self Loathing: I am in a high swing of self loathing. I look at myself and the first thing I think is DISGUSTING. Yes I have lost a lot of weight but I still have futher to go. Being overweight for years has done a lot of damage to my body and no amount of weight loss will fix that. I look like a candle that has had a lighter run around its outside. I guess that is the best way to picture my abdominal damage...I look melted. As for my thighs they are huge...I have giant quad muscles and it is not attractive..will dropping weigh reduce my quad size...and let me not begin with my donkey calves. My arms...yuck...again I don't think weight loss is gonna do a whole lot about that....I envy woman that can wear tank tops and sleeve less dresses...sigh......okay enough of the pity party...I guess Kim at this size is better then the size 28 Kim. But even if I could by chance become a size 10 Kim I would never look like a "normal" woman because I have to much damage..to my skin. Okay enough about that.

Upcoming events: Father's day and July 4th and then July 20 and July 21 Grandpa and Grandma Kaufman will be having their 40th wedding anniversary party/reunion

The BIG QUESTION: Will I suck it up and do the hog jog and realize that there is no shame in lastness?
Forecast: Will likely do it...will likely be last...will spend the next two months whining and complaining about the trauma of being last....

My weird thought: There is shame in lastness but that only pertains to me...when other people are last I am so proud of them for hanging in there...does this even make sense?

Not at the Y this morning as resting for my potential hog jog...so now I will jump in the tub and commence the beautifying so that I may stun my co-workers with my incredible beauty. (It is 6:15 now...I have to be at work by 8:00...the beautifying process is quite lengthy)

Pictures

2007-06-13T06:22:00.001-04:00

Two peas in a pod.

Abby getting instruction from cousin Jamie on the proper use of foam blow dart guns. At least he bought her a foam blow dart gun. Aunt D bought Brad and James a real blow dart guns when they were like 14 and 15. I told her they would shoot each other. She says, "They are not stupid they won't do that" All night I heard from upstairs"Dude....Ouch!"

The sisters and the mothers. Grandma Mae, Me, Aunt Snoozy, Gma C, and Aunt D.

Amanda (and baby), Aunt D, Grandma Mae, Amber and Abby.

Tasha, James and Grandma Mae.

Natalie, Tyson, Brad, Carissa, and Grandma Mae.

Poor Kendra, Lucas and Adam have no family picture as Adam was at home throwing up!

Flu Bug Enters Town

2007-06-13T05:59:00.001-04:00

Yikes...I stopped over to see my little buster brown (a/k/a Baby Adam) on Sunday and two hours later he was puking at Indiana Beach. I am assuming it was not Grandma kisses that made him sick but the flu bug. Yes indeed it was the flu bug because yesterday at work I get a phone call...a weak little voice says, "Mom, what are you doing". I respond that I am at work and then the most pathetic little voice says..."Oh I am puking and Lucas is pukings" She sounded so sick and weak! The calvary rode in a/k/a Grandpa (he had a light schedule) and he picked up the little guy so Mom and Dad could puke in peace. This was Grandpa's first day by himself with Adam! I came home on my lunch break and they were doing just fine. Matter of fact he said I was disturbing them as I made Adam cry and whine when he saw me because he wanted Grandma to hold him. Grandpa changed diapers, Grandpa gave the baby a nap, grandpa made a baby fort to keep baby corraled. The corral was an elaborate set up of coffee table, couch, toy box, baby saucer and a gate made of his baby rings. Adam and Grandpa made their first fort! Grandpa and Adam also went to Walmart where they bought a new disc for the camera and a spiffy new teething ring that vibrates when it gets chewed on. Grandpa says Adam is a chick magnet. When I got home from work Adam and Grandpa were sitting on the porch swing just happy as clams. I called to check on Kendra she still had a fever and the chills so I told her I would keep Adam overnight and then Grandpa would bring him home in the morning on his way to work. She was most appreciative! I get the play pen set up in our room and put in his favorite blanket in preparation for bed time. So now...will Adam sleep all night so that Grandma may have her wits about her when she goes to work..or will Adam stay up all night, demand that he be in Grandma's and Grandpa's bed and then kick and roll all over Grandma and Grandpa all night? I an happy to report...Adam slept...in the play pen...only woke up once...I promptly stuck his plug in (pacifier) and he went back to sleep...He did not want to go to sleep at first because we had the light on and the TV on. He crawled all over us, all over the bed..we put him in the play pen....he was not happy...put him next to me on the bed...he thought we were playground eqipment. Grandpa final turns off the TV and the light and goes downstairs to watch "Glen Beck". He tells Adam "Goodnight it is your bedtime". Baby puts his head down and falls asleep and the transfer to the play pen was successful. Now lets just hope Grandma and Grandpa avoid the flu bug. I hope Adam did not send his flu bug to Florida via Grandma Mae.

Cute things are children have done:Abby and Tyson: Played military...we were short on GI Joes so the military consist of a few GI Joes, mini babies, little care bears, little fisher price people, and Kelly dolls. Tyson says to Abby "Lets play war" and Abby says she does not know how. Tyson then proceeds to fill her in on military strategy and such. He was very serious about the ways of war! Abby says to me "Aunt Kim babies are in the military" hmmm out of the mouth of babes. At any rate Abby's army of babies and one GI Joe was totally destroyed by the army of two GI Joes, care bears, fisher price people and the kelly dolls. Evidently Fisher Price people are much more fierce then they appear. Upon the destruction of Abby's Army she threw her self back in the chair and sobbed.

Carissa: Drama Queen to the Extreme...she works the crowd...she is destined for Hollywood. She does this thing called, "The Monster" Picture above..."The Monster" looks funnier when she is not covered in mac and cheese. She does "The Monster" on command and just when ever it strikes her and has found it a fine way to get laughs. The adults are all sitting in a circle and Carissa does her monster (which makes Grandma laugh like crazy) and while she is doing it she is swiveling around so the whole family can see it. Aunt Suzie says she needs to stop because people are going to think something is wrong with her. Grandma loves it! I love that she goes up to random people and does "The monster".

Mae: Mae made it safely back home! She said she had a great time! We did as well! My dad would have found it quite funny that we took his diamond bedecked wife to a tavern/pub for lunch and yard saling.

Time to get ready for work...missing the Y since we have Adam but will be back in the swing of things by next week...providing my knee and foot improves...otherwise it will be alot of swimming.

My Knee Hurts and Other News

2007-06-12T07:03:00.000-04:00

Tyson defeats Abby's Military of Baby....she is not happy....Tyson is.

My knees hurts as does my foot....it started a couple of weeks ago and it is taking its time getting better. The Sunday before last I tried to wrap both knees and run. It hurt so bad I was crying so I started walking. Last week I ran one mile on Tuesday and did 3 miles on the eliptical...no pain. Thursday I skipped the climate run and used the treadmill so I could stop when it started hurting. I did 3 miles with insignificant (not to be confused with none) pain. Today I tried to run my knees, my foot hurt (the same pain as last year), matter of fact my entire body hurt. I am going to chalk it up to exhaustion and try to ice and take tylnol in hopes of making the pain go away.

Grandma Mae is returning to Floriday today. We had a wonderful visit!

Recap of events:

Thursday: Mae arrives...went to Arnis for dinner. I ate like a pig.

Friday: Hooked up with Mae and went to Battleground to TC's at lunch for a killer tenderloin...then had a family gathering of around 19 people in the evening. I kept it simple...hot dogs, hamburgers, (hand spanked by your's truely), pasta salad, watermelon and chips. My family kept saying, "Where is all the food" I told them after going to TC's and having a giant tenderloin that I was not hungry so cooking for 19 did not excite me much. We ended the night by playing scrabble.

Saturday: Started the day with Biscuits and Gravy at Aunt Denises...then took Mae on a yard sale excursion. We told her we did not good bargins because she was bedecked in diamonds so the people thought we had money and therefore would not go down in price so that we could afford yet more jewelry. I told her it is the yard sale way to wear just plain jeans and tee shirt...no jewelry....that way people will think we are destitute and much more likely to bargin with us... Went to Aunt D's for a family birthday/reunion party...However, Mom ended up in the hospital that night and was unable to attend...neither did her hospital helpers...Kendra, James and Tasha. Mom came back to spend the night at my house while she came down from her morphine high.

Sunday: Chicken and Noodles at Aunt D's house....just sat around till around 9:30 chatting and such.

Monday: Dinner at my house. Hahahahah I was in control of the meal...the food Nazi...no carbohydrate festival of noodles, potatos and rolls...we had Grilled Chicken, Baked Potatoe, Corn on the Cob, watermelon and a beautiful tossed salad...and diabetic jello cake for dessert. I have found if you do not set out potato salad the family will actually consume greens...of course I had to lure them to the salad with shredded cheese and bacon bits...but at least I was able to sneak greens in on them.

Okay more details later:

Busy Life

2007-05-30T04:39:00.000-04:00

The Penalty for waking up Grandma at 6:00 am. His first 5k walk!

Yesterday 3 mile run (in the middle of the afternoon no less) granted it was on the treadmill but that I actually followed thru with a missed morning workout was amazing! Then 8 mile bike ride in the evening. As you may or may not know, my daughter in law had open heart surgery a month ago. She has had a rough recovery but hopefully is on the mend. This week I took a vacation week to give her sister a break. Her sister has been absolutely fabulous coming over every day to help take care of Nat and the baby. I have been going over on Tuesday and Friday mornings which means no morning workout...which equals flabby thighs and tummy. Today my plan is to swim after I leave their house today. Tomorrow morning her sister will be coming in the morning so I don't miss my climate run and I need to go get my drivers license reviewed.

Lessons I have learned:

After the mini do not get pumped up and do even more workouts then normal. I did this because I was suffering from the mini high...now I am paying for it with sore knees. I am having to ice, wrap, and stretch because the hog jog is coming up and I don't want to miss it.

Babies do not care if you are tired when they wake up when it is time to get up it is time to get up (you would think I would remember that after 3 children...but the memory fades).....and they do it so cute how can you not get up. I made the BIG error of bringing Adam to bed with me at 3:00 am. At 6:00 am he stuck his little face in mine and when I ignored him he pulled himself up on me....by my hair. Okay so I was awake at that point. He had coffee with Grandma then he did a 5K walk. Matter of fact he took total walks over the weekend of 6 miles....go Adam!

Tyson: Has informed me he wants to do the Mini when he is 12 and he needs to start training. This should be interesting as he hates running. However, I have done and will do the Mini for 2008, his paternal Grandma said she is doing the mini now, and his uncle and brother will be doing it next year...so Ty has the Mini fever. He has asked me to start coming over to take him for little runs...I will keep you posted. I advised him that it is hot, sweaty and hard to run...he says he does not care...so Tyson get ready.....

Oops time to get to Nat's...will post more later...suffice to say...I need to get some hard workouts in because the Hog Jog is right around the corner.

Mini Pictures

2007-05-20T06:57:00.000-04:00

A picture of a picture of the mini...don't ask me why.

My after mini ride back to Lafayette. Good thing I wasn't driving.

This is how crappy somebody looks after running 13 miles. Jerry would not let me wear my medal to church despite my pleas.

Look how tired and happy I look. My friend Leo is the tall gentleman in the dark blue running next to the crowd.

Yes, while I am out running the mini...this is what my family is doing.

Long Promised

2007-05-20T06:43:00.000-04:00

Adam giggling. He must have a secret. NOTICE the hair growth!

Hanging out the Uncle James and Aunt Tasha

A triathelete in the making. He can swim, he can bike...now he's gotta run.

Adam says, "Come in Carissa spring me from this contraption Grandma keeps putting me in".

Only the real cool grandmas do this.

Grandma and Carissa getting ready for a swing

A Little Light on the Workouts/Ended with a Bang

2007-05-20T06:35:00.001-04:00

Last weekend was a grandchildren packed weekend. My little guy spent Friday night and Saturday day with us. He was initiated into the world of garage sales and he did GREAT! He hung out with Grandma and Aunt Tasha all morning! He did not start getting cranky until about 12:30 when we went to the grocery store. So to be out from 8:00 am to 1:00 being carted around without being in the least bit cranky was awesome. I did find that it is very hard to hold a baby and push a full shopping cart...I guess my big honking biceps come in handy.

Monday: 4 miles and power hour....no evening exercise...spent time with grandchildren

Tuesday: Watched my grandchildren in the morning ( my daughter in law had surgery and needs a little help with the children till she is recovered), nothing in the evening due to rain.

Wed. Lifted and Swam.

Thursday: 5 mile climate run...56 minutes, 1 1/2 mile walk in the afternoon

Friday: nothing in the morning (grandchildren), 1 1/2 mile walk in the afternoon, nothing in the evening due to being grouchy.

Saturday: Dejunked my upstairs room because I have been promising my husband I would do it "after the mini". It took all day but you can now walk thru the room and the Goodwill received my unwanted junk

Sunday: I hope to do 5-6 miles this morning and if I don't take my granddaughter to Aunt Hee Hee's picnic will ride my bike there.

I AM BACK....HA did 6.05 miles in 67 minutes...averagepace per calculator 11.4 per mile. whoooo hoooo but no wonder I felt like crap at the end....the end was puke mountain.....thought for sure I wasn't going to make it...but no stopping up the hill....chugged up it like our old Dodge Ram use to then did a slow jog cool down around my block to make my total of 6.05! Finished my run...ate some breakfast and off to church.
Home from church, over to Aunt Hee Hee's for Amanda to tell us all the good news that she is expecting a baby! Congrats Amanda and Roger!
Back to church in the evening...biked there and back for total biking miles on Sunday of 6 miles.
Found that with biking to church I was able to stay away all thru the Sermon...I think I might be on to something...stationary bikes for worship!
Time to go to power hour...I am not slacking on the workouts like I did this last week...since I can't work out Tuesday morning. I am going to drag my tired butt to the Y after work. I'll update you all on the results of THAT!
Have a great day!

My Head Doth Explodeth!

2007-05-10T21:10:00.000-04:00

Good day I say!
1: Awesome Climate Run...setting a personal best for Kimmie 5 miles in under an hour! Go Kim Go! Leo said 54.? . I hope he is right and his little gadget is not broken! If so don't tell me!
2: Got Kudos from the Powers that Be at Work!
3: Got told that my pants were getting baggy!
I am now very full of myself and intolerable to be around. By the time I left work my head was so big I could barely make it thru the elevator doors and now my neck hurts because the strain of holding up my big head has been exhausting.
Totals for today: Ran 5, walked 1 1/4, Biked 6 1/2 and did a little lifting.

This weekend is mother's day...so I am ready....Children, Grandchildren....I am ready to be adored and cherished and treated as a queen (something I most certainly deserve on account of my wonderfulness).

I will be posting pictures soon. I have some incredible cute ones to post!

Upcoming events: Amber will be in a show this weekend. You can buy tickets at the door on Saturday night! Grandma Mae arrives June 7 and will stay thru Tuesday! Save some time for Grandma Mae! I will be taking off Friday and 1/2 day on Monday. Aunt Denise will be off 1/2 on Thursday. Hog Jog 10k for Me on June 14? Zoo run 5k in July, and the Kossuth Street 5k in July, Grandma and Grandpa Kaufman in Michigan will be having their 40th anniversary.
Birthdays (May/June/July): Amanda, Amber, Grandma Casey, Grandma Mae, Grandma Sue, Natasha (in alpha order).
July 4th (fireworks at my house, carryin lunch/dinner).

That's all for now folks!
Quote of the day, "I am loser tee hee tee hee" I can't really explain this but it was funny as heck and you just had to be there....spoken by Jill in reference to my self disparaging persona.

Mini Magic

2007-05-08T21:05:00.000-04:00

Okay I have determined that either A)I did not work hard enough at the Mini or B) There has been some major mini vodoo magic going on. Other then Saturday of the mini (when I fell asleep in the van on the way home and then got in the door and took a 2 hour nap) I have felt all kinds of energy. Sunday got up at 6:00 am went to the grocery store, returned home by 7:30 am to take a shower, eat breakfast and get ready for church, returned home from church watched not one but two grandchildren (and a great time it was!), then returned one grandchild home, kept one to take to church with me, went to evening service, returned home, played with the remaining grandchild till his mommy and daddy returned home around 9 ish. Monday, started a little sluggish, half heartedly walk/ran 1 mile, half heartedly did ab work, then by the time I got to work the energy kicked in...went for a mile walk on my lunch break, came home ate dinner then went on a 6 mile bike ride. Tuesday got up did a little lifting, ran 3 miles (at my fastest time in quite awhile! and I could have run further!), came home after work took a 6 1/2 mile bike ride (and picked a route with two killer hills), took Baby Adam for about a 3/4 mile walk, came home packed my lunch and got ready for tomorrow...now I am blogging. I thought after the mini I would be worthless for a week but I feel pretty good...the real test will be the climate run on Thursday! If I make it then I know I am stronger! Okay better get to bed...no use pushing the envelope....

I FINISHED WITH A SMILE

2007-05-05T20:39:00.000-04:00

I DID IT! I DID IT! I DID IT! I would jump up and down but my knees are stiff. It was incredible and painful and I am doing it again next year. Mile 1-5 felt pretty good. I could breathe, nothing really hurt and my 5 mile was like 1:01 which is about average for me now. Suprisingly no real problem controlling my breathing...oh and side note I ran with NO MUSIC. After much encouragement to just enjoy and relish the experience. I left my headphones in the car. Headphones to me are like a pacifer to a baby! So it was a tough call to leave them behind. I did not regret it until the last mile and looking back I think even if I had them it would be unlikely they would have helped. The track miles were horrendously tedious. Nothing to look at but track and other tortured souls. My husband asked if I kissed the brick. I told him there could be no brick kissing because I would have probably laid down and taken a nap. Every once in a while I would glance over to the sidelines at the track to see the perky young teenage cheerleaders cheering for us. The cheer I liked the most was when they said something like "walk it run it we don't care" and then something about just doing it. I was in my "Kim far away zone" at that point... its the same look I get when I am on the treadmill or my Thursday runs. Any way I just walked thru the water breaks up to that point. After the track it started to get rough. That was right in the 8-9 mile part. It was very helpful that Leo marked it for me in Lafayette miles. He would be like okay we're at the 4th Street hill mark on our Thursday run. Then he would say okay were at Teal Road. That really kept me from panicking! The last couple miles I had to walk some because my legs felt like lead. Strange though...the breathing that has been an ongoing problem for me was not a problem today....The last 1/2 miles was very rough then the last 1/4 mile all I remember is I was smiling and thinking "I am gonna finish..I gonna finish", I could see the finish line and they called my name over the loud speaker! I had to ask Leo is that our finish...because I could not believe I was finally there. I felt like bursting into tears when I crossed under. I am so happy that my friends encouraged and encouraged me to do this...because this I was filled with this incredible feeling of joy! Next year my goal is 2:40 and I will not start in Corral V.

Highlights:

Dinner the night before: Hooked up at PF Changs with Leo, Maggie, Jeff, Karen, Glenn and two other couples that I can't remember their names. I think one was Leo's nephew....I am tired right not I can't hardly think....Good food and excellent company!

Stay girl stay: Leo parks me in the corral. Points to a spot tells me to stand right there while he goes to the back to give something to his nephew in a back corral..yes there were just a few corrals behind us. I see Dana, Mike and Cathy they wave and yell. I run over to them all excited to see my friends. I get hugs and well wishes! OH NO I have let my spot. When I look over Leo has returned and is standing in the spot shaking his head! I bid Danna, Mike, Kathy and Russ farewell, asked Danna and Kathy to please drag me to the finish line if I collapse (and to please make sure my shirt stays down to retain my modesty) and high tail it back to my spot with explanation as to why I strayed. Hahahahahaha

I was not looking around at the start of the mini just walking to the start line staring ahead, trying to decide what on earth was the matter with my brain for signing up and I glance over and there was my family! I was so excited to see them.

My shirt: I had several people comment on my fat picture on my shirt and it was most encouraging and made me not want to quit. Thank you to Rebecca for coming up with my logo!

The bands were great on the sidelines! I heard some Guns and Roses, Mellencamp, Poison, Areosmith...all the music that makes a girl of the 80's happy. We did hear one band and ohhhhh they were horrible.

I was advised by Leo at the beginning there would be lots of hooting and hollering and laughter but after the track it would be silent just the slapping of shoes on the pavement. It was true! No laughter, no hooting, no hollering...just slap slap slap...it was very strange.

Silence of the Kim: Few words were spoken by Kim on account of I had to concentrate. But my friends are use to that...they know when I am done I will make up for the running silence. Maybe someday I too will be able to chatter! I think this is the longest stretch I have gone with out talking aside from my dental surgeries.

Big Girls Galore: I found my big girls. I was content.

My family: I love you so very much and am the most blessed woman in the world for having you! Thank you for all your love and support. Especially thank you to my husband who has put up with my training for months and months and listening to me rattle on about my corns and callouses (yes Honey I am gonna get that pedicure). And putting up with my early to bed early to rise schedule. Thank you Kendra for doing dog duty...thank you Tasha and James for sleeping on the fold out so I could sleep in the nice cushy hotel bed and thank you Jerry, James and Tasha for sitting for hours waiting for me to finish!

Proud of all my Y Friends. I am beaming with pride for all my Y friends! I love each and every one of you and you have greatly enriched my life! Thank you for encouraging me to be all that I can be!

Giant Dessert: On the way home from Indy we stopped to eat and I had a giant dessert and then felt sick sick sick. A couple of times I thought I was going to have to ask Jamie to pull the van over but I paid 5.00 for that dessert and I did not want to waste it by throwing it up. FYI: try the blonde brownie from Applebees....

Things I have Gained/Learned from the Mini:
Gross Item: If you are constipated...run a mini!
Thursday climate runs do pay off.
I will not die after doing 13.1 miles
10k's no longer scare me. I might still be last but the distance no longer scares me.
I wanna do another...not anytime soon though...but I am gonna work my butt of this summer and get stronger.

Random Thought while doing the Mini: Every time I saw a pit stop I kept thinking "This is just like in Georgia and Florida when you see all those Stops that sell the Oranges and Pecans" I think this thought might have been oxygen deprivation or dehyrdration induced.

Scary moment: After the finish I went to go to the bathroom (see Gross Item above) and then I started to get dizzy and bleck feeling. My blood sugar went bump so I had to sit down...hoping I could hold off on that bathroom issue...and eat some jelly beans. It took a minute to get my brain wrapped around that I had to get the jelly beans out of my pocket and into my mouth and about 7 minutes to recover and then I was as right as rain! I kept looking around thinking boy I wish my family was here because I really don't feel good and that I should have had someone at the finish have my meter. Next time I will eat some jelly beans at the last 5k mark.
Okay that is all for now cause I am tired. My son has my finish on video and he is putting it on his blog. I will let you all know when it is up so you can see what pain/happiness looks like!
Signed
13.1 miles and happy!

I am gonna make a great looking Corpse

2007-05-03T20:08:00.000-04:00

Am I ready for the Mini?

Maps generated
Suitcase mostly packed (spending the night in Indy tomorrow)
Fat Girl Tee Shirt Ready ( made a shirt with my fat picture on it and the logo "One More Reason to Run")
Lucky food packed (peanut butter and honey)
Lucky socks packed
Lucky Sports Bra currently in the washer ready to go in the dryer
Lucky Shorts...packed (are you starting to see the trend....I don't have skill so gotta have luck)
Hair Colored..........why did I need to get my hair colored and cut? cause when I sweat all my gray roots stand out and because I wanna look great in my casket after I keel over dead 20 feet from the finish line. If someone sees me laying on the ground please roll my corpse to the finish line so I do not get a DNF.
So I guess that means I am ready for the mini (that is once I get my lucky bra packed).

Current Mood: Slightly panicked. I did feel a little light headed for a few minutes when I saw the mini coupe but I managed to overcome it by thinking thoughts of non mini things.

Quote of the day: Kathleen my hairdresser, "Color by Kathleen, Body by the YMCA". Said upon my quip that she should put an advertisment on my shirt for the mini.

Mini Meltdown

2007-05-01T05:36:00.000-04:00

Every time I think if the mini I feel faint. For that matter every time I hear the word mini I feel faint. Seeing mini things makes me feel faint. I almost sure the stress and fear prior to the mini is going to kill me. I am scared for the following reasons:

I won't be able to keep up with Leo
I will have to walk more then run
2 burly men will exit the slow bus and grab me and forcibly shove me into the "You ain't moving fast enough" bus.
It will be hot
I will have to walk.I will have to walk I will have to walk. I dont wanna walk. I guess after writing this I have my fear narrowed down to fear of failure....I think walking is failure...therefore I will fail because there is no possible way I can run the whole thing. Okay what happened to my I am going to walk/run the mini and be proud of it? Ahhhgggggggggg
Time to go do my 3 mile run.....

11.33 miles

2007-04-22T19:23:00.000-04:00

Today, despite being tired and unmotivated and dehydrated I drug my rear out of bed for a run. The first half was very strong only 3 1 minute water breaks and then somewhere around mile 7 I lost it. I ran out of water, I was thirsty so thirsty (my own fault I only took about 8 ounces of water with me). Managed to get in 11.33 miles average pace of 13.3 minutes per mile. The last mile was mostly walking with my tongue hanging out of my mouth but I finished. I really think for long runs I need to have someone with me to help me keep a slow steady pace. So after the mini I will be begging one of the climate run teams to go on longish runs with me 6-8 miles on Saturday or early Sunday morning! It is lonely running that long by myself...its not that I want to talk but I just want someone there. Maybe I should get a dog...no a dog is too fast that would kill me.
During this run: I was thirsty, tired, my music was driving me crazy, I wanted to hear it then I didn't (headphones off, headphones on...over and over and over), my cell phone (in my pocket) banged against my quad and gave me a little bruise, my foot hurt, my knee hurt, my head hurt. I ran past someone's little yard pond, thought about sitting in it, decided they would call the police if they saw a middle aged sweaty woman with headphones sitting in their pond. Ran past burger king, thought the smell would make me puke. People kept staring at me. I wanted to scream at them "Hey can't you see I am striving for health and fitness" "Fat girls need exercise too!" Chanted to myself "I am never doing another mini again" Told the FAST runner that went past me that I was too fat and old to do this. He smiled gave me a thumbs up...I wanted to break his thumb off and slap the smile off of his face, but he was going to fast. At mile 9 thought about calling my daughter to pick me up. Mile 10 started to cry and whine and moan outloud. Mile 11 began to believe I was actually going to make it (by this time my running had become a walking/very little running). However, the "I am never doing another mini chant" became louder and faster in my head. Final.25 mile wondered why on the eath I was doing this and wondered how much I could get off ebay for my mini entry and hotel room, and also wondered why I didn't cut thru VP drive to get home faster. I see my house give one final groan of pain and sprinted toward my steps. Final Destination (home) began to think about how to improve next years training.

GI BABY

2007-04-20T04:52:00.000-04:00

Baby Adam is now 7 months old and he is army crawling all over the place. However, he will scream at you if you do the following: continue to move the item he is crawling for over and over and over...he is smart...he knows we are messing with him.

Jerry and I bought new bikes last night...alas they are not nice bikes just a level above the cheap cheap bikes...but it is a bike none the less. We are looking forward to getting some rides in. Hopefully I will find a bike buggy this summer at yard sales so I can take Adam for a ride! I get tired and bored with walking at night so biking will be a nice change. I don't think I have had a new bike since I was a kid.

Running: 5 miles on Thursday, again, I hope not to jinx myself, but I actually enjoyed it more then it hurt (not alot mind you). No stopping and I went so much faster up 4th Street Hill...slow compared to other people but very fast for me! Probably the fastest ever! This summer I am going to work work work so at least I don't hold people up! My mini panic has set in. I think I am nuts and they don't let you WEAR HEADSETS! So this Saturday I am going to try to run without my headset...okay maybe it will be in my pocket but Iam gonna try not to use it.

Scales: Tra LA LA and the scales have been moving in a downward direction....yeah! I am within spitting distance of hitting my first mini goal...matter of fact I may spit and reweigh....perhaps that little bit of saliva will push me back!

Question of the Day: "Do you run naked" No that was NOT a question as to whether I have been running up 4th street hill in all my naked glory but rather a question about whether I eat before I run. Question by Karen. The answers are No and Yes, in no particular order. I will leave you to figure out the order. Hint: There have not been floods of people exiting the town in a panic. The Eye Doctors (yes I can't spell the real term this early in the a.m.) have not been overbooked due to a rise in sudden blindness....hope that helps.

Gnawing My Arm Off

2007-04-18T05:21:00.000-04:00

I am making a valiant effort to lose 20 pounds. So far 5 down and not one but two people noticed! Now that is a morale booster. One person mentions in then you think yeah right who can tell, but two people...now that is validation...go Kimmie! However, the side effect of attempting to lose weight is an unending hunger. I am so hungry I could gnaw my arm off...except for I got one big honking bicep and I think it might be a little stringy and tough. I woke up in the middle of the night starving and just had to lay in bed because I HAD enough to eat at dinner and there was no reason for me to eat anything else. So I laid in bed and counted the hours till I could get up and have a cup of carb controlled hot chocolate...very little fat, trace sugar.... but very yummy. These are the following changes I have made to try to shed some of my fatness....keep in mind...small changes...because I am already suffering in my yummy food deprived life: Red Meat once a week...fish, chicken and pork the rest, gave up my whipped cream on my sugar free pudding, make my sugar free pudding with 1 cup of skim milk and 1 cup of water (instead of 2 cups milk), count my pretzels for snacks..I get 25 mini pretzels (20 is a serving but I really love pretzels), not eating my weight in desserts on the weekends, avoiding multiple dining out experiences on the weekend, No bacon at all during the weekdays...Wed is always eggs and bacon night...I have eggs and whole wheat pasta and vegtables, No more graham crackers, resumed afternoon walks at work, and finally I do not go back for mulitple helpings of meat under the "I need protein to make me run faster theory" (this theory has been proven utterly useless but I still insisted on standing by it!)Those are my changes and while they are not much I am grateful that the scales have gone down 5 pounds and am anxious to see the other pounds follow behind it.
Signing off
Food Deprived and Suffering!
SOS: I need a cookie!

Daytime Victory

2007-04-16T05:09:00.000-04:00

Yesterday 7.23 mile mostly running and 2.65 walk. Well this weekend I had every intention of doing a long run. However, the IRS stood firmly in the middle of my path. Taxes are due tomorrow (due to today being emancipation day) but my taxes were not completed. In fact they were not started, not my 2007 quarterly or my 2006 personal. I knew that if I waited till after my long run then I would be too tired and worn out. If I did them before it is likely I would bale on my long run...which is exactly what happened. So Sunday morning I got up, realized my check book at 100 + error and I had bills to pay...again long run first then too tired to do my financials or financials then risk not getting my long run in because I will get drowsy in church and be to tired to go later. I had every intention of leaving right after church, took my clothes and everything, but when I got out I was overcome with this almost like hangover type of exhaustion ( I call it my sitting in church syndrome)so I opted for coming home and napping. I napped for an hour and a half then decided I had to get my slacker rear up and if nothing else go for a long walk. Well I got out and started feeling better so I was able to do 7.23 mile run which was mostly running. I even, on my own choice, came up 4th street hill to come home. I MADE IT UP IN BROAD DAYLIGHT! The hill is NOT easier in the daylight! I thought it might be, but it looked just as horribly long in the daylight as it does at 5:30 in the morning. So anyway I got home, took a 15 minute bath, then immediatly hoofed it to church which was how I got my 2.65 mile walk in. I was suppose to walk home too but they had a VBS meeting that went till 8:00 and so by that time I was starving for dinner so did not think I could wait to eat till I walked home. This morning, due to my late afternoon run and walk, I am kinda stiff so I think I will hit the water.
Saturday night: Baby Adam went to his first Miller Carnival. He had a great time. He won the cake walk two times, won two prizes in the kids raffle, I won 15 worth of movie gift certificates and free popcorn and drink coupons, a golf shirt, and a blue ink pin. We were there for around 2 1/2 hours, then we trooped back to my house to have Chili, german chocolate cupcakes, and the turnovers that Baby Adam won in the cake walk.

Accomplished this weekend: 2006 Taxes, 2007 quarterly taxes, Miller School Carnival, a little laundry done, Checkbook Error found and corrected, Bills paid, Filing done, Grocery shopping done, church attended...so I guess I had a pretty good and busy weekend.
Oops once again late to swimming!

Beginning Meltdown

2007-04-13T05:30:00.000-04:00

Yesterday I got in the mail: MY MINI CONFIRMATION BOOKLET. I held it in my hand and there was no panic. Until I opened the booklet and begin to read. 13.1 miles what was I thinking? Am I insane? There was information on first aid stations, hydration stations, what to do in case of emergencies both human and weather, how to find you family amid thousands and thousands of people. It also included the dire results of losing your mini confirmation book, starting the mini early, losing your chip AND going slower then the required pace of 18 minutes per mile. By the time I was done reading my booklet I was feeling faint (good thing I was in bed in my pjs), I felt like I was going to puke and I had a desire to flee far far away from Indy. So now I am having some SERIOUS doubts. Not even the lure of free cookies and country music at the end of the route has made my terror abate.

Tax Meltdown: I finished our personal taxes from 2006. They are ready to sign and insert my check for payment because evidently claiming 0 all year long is not adequate to cover my tax liability. Uncle Sam wants me, no demands me, to deplete my meger savings to give him more money so our Congressmen, Senators, and the President can live like kings and dine on exotic foods and expensive wines, while I live in the middle of gang territory and eat generic hotdogs. No..just kidding... I know my money goes for good....like studies of the mating habits of Honey Bees..... So now that the personal taxes our done I have begun our first quarter 2007 taxes. After staring at the Estimated Tax Worksheet I have decided that my brain hurt and I went to a tax site and found tax software that will do all the thinking for me. I just have to data entry.
Runs: 3.25 miles on Tuesday...pretty good..no stopping...last mile was by far the fastest (don't be impressed I don't go that fast in the beginning!) 5 miles on Thursday and it felt...dare I say it...not as painful.... no stopping.....I did not struggle with my breathing as much...wasn't any faster but I could actually breath during portions of this run and was able to occasionally burst furth with a sentence or two. I am mostly a silent on my five miles...I can either breath or talk but am incapable of doing both. I am constantly amazed by those that can chatter way during their runs...oh and really really jealous.

Okay off to the Y for Power Hour. I was gonna swim but I have swam the last couple of weeks and I am starting to feel like sponge bob. I think if someone hugs me I am gonna squirt water out of every pore.
Long Run/Walk this weekend. Wish me luck! There will be no gatorade.....

ANNOYING ISSUES and DAMAGE I HAVE DONE

2007-04-08T05:55:00.000-04:00

It is true. I am a walking Shleprock and I have PMS misery:

1) Burnt popcorn at work so that our entire office reeked and people kept asking what was that smell.
2) Been canceled by my homeowners insurance due to our being the victim of vandalism
3) Been denied by companies because of my vandalism claim
4)Possible lost a parking permit (that does not belong to me) (not sure if I lost it or it was never given to me). I had to go up and beg a replacement before the person I borrowed it from gets back in town...but not even sure if she even gave it to me or we just talked about it....grrrrr
5)Got pulled over by the police for speeding...though I did not get a ticket but a stern talking too.
6) Was publicly humilated by being pulled over as it was on 4th Street and numerous people I knew saw me and passed the word around.
7) When getting pulled over told the police that my purse was in my trunk...so had to open my trunk...which then everyone that passed me thought my car was getting searched
8) Had to have baked potato while my husband had bacon. This cause alot of emotional distress. Further distressed when baked steak day I had baked fish. (I need to lose 10-15 more pounds)
9)Have lost numerous things this week that I have just laid down for a MOMENT!
10) Had a doctor's appointment for a check up. Despite losing weight I have a severe doctor/scale phobia.
12) My car needs lubed so my car creaks and moans the entire time I am driving it...It is annoying and embarrassing
13) Been generally cranky and short tempered and not willing to joke or kid around....my poor husband has had to bear the brunt of this as he has been in a playful mood and I HAVE NOT! He was joking with me the entire walk we took on Monday and all I did was whine and snarl at him. I say this to him "DO NOT POKE THE BEAR"
14) Found out I have to pay 830 in federal taxes despite us claiming 0 exemptions. Does it not stand to reason if you are claiming 0 that you should at least break even?
AND FINALLY FINISHED OFF MY WEEK WITH THE FINALE
15) Almost killed my dog and injured my husband.....I gave her a piece of chicken breast..which normally she would eat no problem(yes I know you are not suppose to give the dog table food but she is in kidney failure and has a bad thryoid and has lost tons of weight and we have to get her to eat anyway we can...and she turns her nose up at the very expensive food we bought from the vet that is suppose to help her...so she is losing even more weight) Well come to find out that she is losing teeth...we found one on the floor the other day.....so she could not chew up the chicken breast chunk that I give it to her and she swallowed it whole...where it got stuck....she was heaving, frothing at the mouth, gasping so hard her rib cage was totally sunken in and dying in front of my eyes. My husband (who stays cool in the throes of trauma) tried to give her doggie heimlech (spelling?) and then he and I turned her upside down and shook her...nothing...she was frothing at this time...he tried to pull it out but it was too far down her throat...which when he was doing this got bit very hard!. Finally he prayed and then started rubbing her throat trying to push it up and then she gagged and coughed it up. I was terrified! After this we determined that she likely has not been eating the expensive dry stuff because she can't chew the hard pieces... she does not have many back teeth...however those canines are sharp and still there...that is proven by the holes in Jerry's hand! So now she is on wet dog food and I am not giving her any table food unless it has been put through the blender first. Suprisingly enough she still loves me after my attempted doggie manslaughter. Poor girl...she is such a sweet loving dog!
This was not a good week for a woman with major PMS issues!

My runs were good this week.
3.25 miles on Tuesday...no stopping to walk
5 miles on Thursday no stopping to walk (though it was a tremendous feat just to drag my rear out of bed...the only reason I did was that I cannot tick off the one person that is going to help me thru the mini)
10.85 miles yesterday. There absolutely WAS walking during this one. I also have determined there is not one place in town to go where I am not going to get hills. I did not set out till 8:30 a.m. so it was very hard for me because I am not use to running at this time of day. I am an under the cover of darkness person. The sun never hits my face. So I was contending with Mr. Sun in my eyes and baking down on the top of my head AND people staring at me. They were probably wondering if they should stop and call for medical help as I am sure I looked like I was dying. I also made the mistake of taking gatorade with me which made me cramp up really bad. The last time I drank gatorade was at the Zoo Run and it did the exact same thing to me. I guess I better just stick to water and lifesavers for the sugar. I am also tring to find a little bottle to transport honey as my stomach can handle that. I always eat a tablespoon of honey before my Thursday runs.

Well I better get cooking. I invited a few people over for dinner and I don't think they will be impressed if I served bologne sandwiches and pringles. So I better get the turkey breast cooking.